TTC #3 afraid of judgment and comments

[Unexpected212]

Hello!

We are really more NTNP as we aren't going to chart or use OPK's. I Got way to obsessed with TTC my last baby after a miscarriage so I want to relax this time.

I'm really afraid of judgmental comments. I had them when I got pregnant with my DD when DS was just over one. DD is 10 months. So I would have three really close together. People say to me now 'you must be mad' 'you have your hands full!'

I'm also fairly young and I'm just dreading the comments. It's taking the happiness away from TTC thinking about how people are going to react

We can afford three kids, it will be a little tighter but it'll be ok.

Arg

 

[ItsAWonder]

I am sorry you were made to feel badly when you were pregnant before and hope this will not happen again but, people are idiots. Please remember that fact - people are idiots.

For me, as I have gotten older, (I am 38) it's been easier to cope with peoples comments.

Anytime someone says something inappropriate try to remember a few things, 1. they may actually be trying to say something positive but don't know how to word it, 2. they are not parents and do not yet understand what it's like, 3. they are parents and are so overwhelmed with one or two it's their way of saying they think you are a superhero for being able to handle more than they dare, 4. they are idiots and 5. they are ignorant.

Look at your kids. Are they healthy? Are they happy? I am assuming the answer is yes. So your third will be the same. I cherish you mama! I am newly pregnant with my second and wondering how I will manage with two so you are my superhero!

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm on baby 8, but will be my 6th child at home as we lost two.
I was dreading telling people, especially my mum. I've had negTive comments in the past such as 'you better not have any more' 'you must be mad' etc.
However, I've been pleasantly surprised. My mum was fine, and everyone's been lovely. Lots of parents have stopped me in the playground to congratulate me and a few have even said they regret not having more children.
At the end of the day you're an adult, you can't live your life by other people's ecoectations or judgements, you have to do what makes you happy, it's nobody else's business. Good luck! X

 

[Mummy1506]

We have just lost our third, we will be ttc again asap however inlaws have made it perfectly clear how they feel about it! I'm 32 & have a 6 & nearly 4 year old.

We have been together for 15 years & married 10 have our own home with a mortgage both work & thing will be tight finance wise but we are willing to make that sacrifice for our family if anything the negative comments has made me more determined!

We may not even break the news to them next time!

If it's right for you & your partner stuff what anyone else thinks!

 

[LoraLoo]

Mummy, im sorry to hear of your recent loss 💛 I hope physically your recovery is not too tough. I know the emotional wounds take a lot longer to heal xx
I'm the same. The fact that people tell me how many children I should have makes me irate! This will be our last but that's our choice.
We are the same, we are married, own home etc, kids want for nothing, people just like to have an opinion on everything.
And next time someone asks me if we don't have a tv in our house, I'm just going to reply yes, we just prefer having sex 😂 play them at their own game.

 

[jules87]

I agree that *People are idiots*. They just don't realize how hurtful their words can be. For me, everyone was asking when we were going to have one. Then telling us to adopt. For some of my friends they are being pestered about having a second kid. Then there are situations like yours. It just makes me shake my head. Others never seem to be happy. Keep your head up. You could always tell them off

 

[Unexpected212]

Yep my friends who don't have or never want kids are constantly asked 'When are you having kids' My friends with one kid are asked if they will have another. My friend with two boys is constantly told she should try for a girl.

I have a boy and a girl and people say 'You've got the perfect pair why do you want any more?' Because it's not JUST about gender it's about wanting one more baby to complete our family.

Thanks guys you've made me feel loads better.

And sorry for your loss Mummy1506.