Ttc at 39 after three losses last year

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive Over 35' started by happycupcake, Mar 28, 2022.

  1. happycupcake

    happycupcake ‘Mrs Hudson took my skull.’

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    Last year was horrible. We had three miscarriages, one after another, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her life anymore as it was ‘too hard’ (I didn’t get an explanation), I was diagnosed with CIN3 and had treatment for that (my test of cure came back this month HPV negative) and my husband was diagnosed with a varicocele (basically a varicose vein in his testicle, which can cause infertility).

    So, not the best year, but thankful for what we have. We both wanted to try for one more baby and after the miscarriages I was referred to the fertility clinic. I have had loads of bloods done, one returned a bit off which we need to do again, but other than that everything else has been ok. I had a pelvic scan and vaginal swab which were both fine too. My progesterone levels were checked and were spot on. The only thing we can think is that my husband now has a varicocele which can cause low count, motility problems and damaged DNA. The fertility clinic won’t hear it. They have said if I get pregnant before my next face-to-face in five months, I am to use progesterone, but they will not listen to me when I say varicocele can cause infertility. I don’t know why and I don’t know how to make them listen. Husband is on a waiting list for surgery to fix it, but the longer it’s left the more damage is done I think. I read a study which said only 35-50% of couples got pregnant after successful surgery for it. I’m already 39, so age isn’t on my side.

    Currently on day 4 of my cycle and have started soy isoflavones because I want to increase the chances of egg quality being ok. We had trouble conceiving Castiel, until I took soy isoflavones, got pregnant first cycle on it. I’m not expecting a miracle. I’m worried I will miscarry again if I do get pregnant. But I don’t feel like I have the luxury of time to just wait I don’t know how long until my husband’s surgery. What if one good swimmer finds its way there? We would have waited for nothing then. But what if an unhealthy one does instead and I miscarry again… rock and hard place
     
  2. josephine3

    josephine3 Well-Known Member

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    Hi cupcake sorry you are having such a hard time.. Don't have much advice I'm afraid but wanted to say hey! I don't know much about soy isoflavones maybe something for me to look into. I'm 35 and after ntnp about a year with not a sniff of anything happening at all I'm worried I'm getting too old!
     
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  3. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I'm so sorry you've been through such a difficult time. Thinking of you :hugs:
     
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  4. happycupcake

    happycupcake ‘Mrs Hudson took my skull.’

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    @josephine3 hey, how are you? I’m sure everything is ok, it can take a while to conceive sometimes. It took us 18 months for Castiel. I don’t know if it was the soy but I felt like it was a good idea to try it. It can mess your cycle up if you ovulate regularly so you have to be careful. I have always ovulated regularly so whether I got lucky or just wasn’t taking a high enough dose to mess things up I don’t know. I hope you get pregnant soon though!

    @Bevziibubble thank you. It’s been a horrible year but I’m hoping this year will be kinder. How are you?
     
  5. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I hope this year is kinder to you :hugs:

    I'm ok thanks :)
     
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  6. mimi4

    mimi4 Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I am sorry to read your story. What I recommend is to check your ovarian reserve and do karyotyping to see whether or not aneuplodies, age-related issues, might be the reason why you cannot get pregnant. If you wish and can, consider changing your current clinic. Unfortunately, women aged 40+ might have some issues, and the clinic must be eager to dig deeper as fast as they can as time flies too fast. Good luck on your journey.
     
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  7. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Hi Happycupcake!

    I'm 39 as well. And we only recently started TTCing. I think I'm onto my 4th cycle as well. I got so so sick last month for 3 weeks and I had to pop a lot of painkillers cos I had killer headaches. So I'm thankful I didn't get pregnant last cycle. But the illness still screw up my period. I had a 40-day cycle even though my usual cycles are around 30 days. And I'm very sure it wasn't a chemical pregnancy either cos I was testing regularly and never once got a positive. My husband is turning 46. But I'm not so concerned about the age of the guy cos guys can have babies even in their old age. It's just not the same for women, so I totally get what you mean about not having time on your side. I see that you have 5 kids! Wow!! Super mom! I have 4. 3 boys and 1 girl. And to be honest, I do want to try for a 2nd girl. I know that it could very well be a boy and that would be awesome too. Right now, I just want to have one more chance to have a healthy pregnancy before this door is closed for good!

    Re: your fertility clinic, I would also get a second opinion. Just bring all your finding to another clinic and see what they say. It doesn't hurt to get someone else to chip in.
     
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  8. happycupcake

    happycupcake ‘Mrs Hudson took my skull.’

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    @mimi4 thank you, I’m in the UK though and I don’t think we have a choice in clinic? But I could ask them to look at what you suggest. I don’t think it would hurt them would it!

    @cheerios I know what you mean. It would be so nice to get another chance before it’s too late! I think women get a pretty rubbish deal regarding that.
    My husband is 41, but has a varicocele, so I’m hoping his swimmers won’t be too affected by the time they fix that, if they do
     
  9. josephine3

    josephine3 Well-Known Member

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    Hey cupcake just wondered how you are doing as not seen you in the testing threads x
     
  10. happycupcake

    happycupcake ‘Mrs Hudson took my skull.’

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    I’m ok thank you. I don’t see the point in making a testing thread, because it’s extremely unlikely at the moment that we would get pregnant
     
  11. josephine3

    josephine3 Well-Known Member

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    I just meant the monthly group ones.. Good luck anyway x
     
  12. happycupcake

    happycupcake ‘Mrs Hudson took my skull.’

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    It’s just been busy, haven’t had a lot of time
     

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