Ttc blues :(

[Tinytina85]

I'm not really sure where to put this but really could do with some support!
I have a son who is 5 and a half., I am just about to turn 29 as is my partner. I've always hated clockwork 28 day cycles with the odd cycle blip once or twice. My partner and I have Been ttc for over 9/10 months properly, my cycles have become erratic, I never know when to expect my af. We've been off BC for 2 years but actively ttc for 9/10 months. I'm so devastated with the bfn's, the false +opk's the untrustworthy Ovulation signs. I don't even trust my bbt anymore!! I literally feel so down! My OH just thinks I'm silly and my doc refused to help as I'm already a parent (go figure!!) my son isn't my partners and I'm getting to an age where I am so ready for a child, my body aches. Everyone is pregnant or just had babies, family, friends, everywhere I look... Babies, bumps and pregnancy announcements. I literally feel at breaking point. I can't seem to find anyone to confide in. My friends think because I've had a child I will just have other, my best friend even rubbed my nose in the fact she got pregnant again her 1st trying after 5 years on the pill after her 1st! I feel alone, I'm seriously loathing myself and my messed up womanhood my son keeps asking for a brother or sister too, telling me he's lonely!
I've kind of written an essay... I know...

 

[Tinytina85]

Loads of type-o's, sorry!!

 

[Shedevil18]

I am in the same boat. I am 29 as well and TTC number 1. We have been actively trying for the past 5 months and nothing. This is my 6th cycle and all I can do it hope and pray that it finally happens.

I know what you mean when you say everywhere you turn people are either pregnant, just had a baby, announcing etc. Same thing is happening to me and it is heartbreaking All I want is to have a child to call my own. Its so hard to hold someone else's baby and know that its something you want sooooo bad and it's just not happening for you.

My cycles are usually 28 days bang on, I could tell you to the day and time when it is going to come but ever since we have been trying they have been messed up. Some have been shorter, some have been longer. Just this month has it been back to the normal 28 days. People say "don't stress about it, and it will happen on it's own" well easier said then done people!

 

[CrystalJMM]

I completely understand how you're feeling.

My bestfriend hasn't had a visit from AF in 7 years and has a 2 year old son and a little girl on the way while I have my cycle like clockwork and I can't seem to get pregnant.

It makes it really hard to be happy for others when they are getting things you want and can't seem to make happen for yourself.

This is the place to be. We root for each other and try to help as much as we can when we get down, which we all do.

 

[Tinytina85]

Thanks so much for the replies shedevil and crystal, it's kind of a relief knowing I'm not alone in this, although I can also feel how you're both feeling too. It's so hard seeing everyone else around doing this so effortlessly!