TTC but feeling like it will never happen

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by wantit2hapn, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. wantit2hapn

    wantit2hapn TTC or not....who knows

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    Hi everyone! I am new to the BnB forum and glad I found this place. I needed others to talk to cause I feel like I am going out my mind! I have been TTC off and on for about 5 years now. I had to take some time off because of back surgery last year and now back at it again for the last 6 months. I have 2 children now, 15 yo and 11 yo girls. But my DH and I have decided that a 3rd child would complete our family, so here we are.

    When I had my 2nd child, it took us 2 years of TTC and 3 miscarriages before we were pregnant. It was a very tough trying time, but well worth it. Then we decided when I was 30 that it was time for one more. We tried for a year and half with nothing. Now that we are back again at it for the last 6 months we did get pregnant 2 months ago but that unfortunately ended in a early miscarriage. I was so upset and thought "oh no, not this again". My DH was so excited that he went and told everyone right away. And then he felt terrible when we lost the pregnancy. He is no longe allowed to say anything till we get past the first few months now.

    I started charting with my temps this month per my doctors instructions and we started TTC again this month. We took last month off. I am normally a 28 day cycle, as I never charted before but I would always mark down my cycle on a calender to keep up with it. I started taking Prenat vitamins and a B complex vitamin daily with my Actos. I am now on day 29 and no AF. Compared to the chart, it seems to show that I ovulated on the 10th day and we timed our trying around that time. We started on day 8 and did every other day after that till day 17. I don't have any symptoms and I took a test this morning because I couldn't wait. It was a :bfn: and I was very disappointed. I don't have any signs at this time which is very unsual compared to the last 2 times I conceived. The only sign I have been having is a lot of cramping, which is not something I never do. So not sure why I am having the cramping unless AF is going to be coming soon.

    I think I am just beginning to think that we may never get pregnant. I want it so bad but I think that my age has a lot to do with why we are having a hard time TTC. I just need to know that we are not alone in this process.
     
  2. Mrs_N

    Mrs_N New mummy

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    welcome to bnb :wave:

    so sorry to hear about your losses, realy hope you get your :bfp: soon :dust:
     
  3. wantit2hapn

    wantit2hapn TTC or not....who knows

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    Ty so much Mrs_N! I am hoping I get mine soon as well as everyone else here too!
     
  4. Mork

    Mork Well-Known Member

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    Hi hon, although my situation is very different and i have only been ttc for 5 months now, I too am feeling like it will never happen. It would appear that everywhere I go there are young girls who are pg, but not me (I am 32), this just makes me feel even more underconfident. But, BnB is a great support and without it I would most certainly have gone mad!! Good luck honey, I hope you get your BFP soon xxx
     
  5. Jessa

    Jessa Guest

    I am with you both in terms of how you're feeling. My husband and I started TTC last June, but here we are almost a year later with nothing to show for it but two miscarriages and a whole lot of hurt. I *try* to have confidence that it will eventually happen for us. It's hard some days though to stay positive. I guess we just have to do the best we can and keep trying, otherwise it will never turn out the way we want it to. Good luck!
     
  6. wantit2hapn

    wantit2hapn TTC or not....who knows

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    Ty Mork and Jessa. Good luck to the both you as well!

    I understand the seeing others being pregnant everywhere I go. Its like it is slapping me in the face. I try to stay positive and be happy for them but inside I am dying. My neighbor just had a baby a week and half ago and when I held her a couple of days ago, I thought I was going to loose it. I remand composed but came home and cried in the shower. I have been very depressed and emotional the last week, more so than in a while.

    And after I wrote my post today, a few hours ago I started getting a brown discharge with a slight pinkish tint. It was just the one time I wiped so now I am thinking that the witch is on her way in. So I am even more upset at this moment. Earlier in the day, right after I took my lunch break at work, I got extremely dizzy and very sick to my stomach followed by a very bad headache. I am so confused right now and not sure what to think is going on with my body. Part of me wants to think I might be pregnant but part of me thinks there is no way cause other than these few symptoms, I don't "feel pregnant". I have one pregnancy test left at the moment, so I think I might take it in the morning when I first wake up to see what happens. Kind of scared to do so cause I don't want the big let down.
     
  7. seattlemama

    seattlemama Mommy & Pregnant!!

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    I cant completely relate, but I know the feeling, I tried for 8 months for my son and I remember feeling like you do. Im sure after 5 years your feeling it 10 times what I did. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. All I can tell you is that if its supposed to happen, it will. I noticed with my son that when I finally gave up and decided to leave it to fate, that was the month I got pregnant. You just cant stress about it, your body knows when you do. Try as hard as you can to relax, I know, easier said than done. I found this tea called Fertili-tea when I was trying for my son and I got pregnant like 2 months after I started drinking it, just an option:)

    I remember feeling like you do about other pregnant women. I would come home from the store and sit in on my bathroom floor and cry because I didnt think it was fair, why could they be pregnant and I couldnt? I remember seeing teenagers pregnant and thinking "they probably dont even want to be pregnant and they get to be... why not me when I want it so bad?" So I know how you feel... I know its not much help saying I know how you feel, but I hope you know your not alone in those feelings. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a BFP soon!
     
  8. wantit2hapn

    wantit2hapn TTC or not....who knows

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    Ty so much seatlemama! Ty so much to all who has replied. The encouraging words are really helping me.

    I woke up this morning and the :witch: arrived. Funny as it sounds, I am not really upset about it. Just glad I know one way or the other now. And really happy I didn't waste another test. :dohh: I think I am going to start doing a journal here to help keep an log of how I am feeling and just be able to vent when needed. This might help me keep from going mad too :wacko: :dance:
     

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