Good news and bad news: The bad news is after a very serious a long conversation with OH, we have decided to cancel May for our TTC date because of the fact that I'm under so much stress with work/school and now my mom is battling breast cancer. I wasn't letting myself come to terms with the fact that it would be a bad time right now to try for a baby with everything with mom. But after thinking about it and talking to some loved ones, everyone agrees it would be best to wait. I know it's the right choice, I need to be there 100% for mom right now. Good news is that OH said that our appointment with the specialist last week made him realize that he is 100% ready to be a dad. Is he still scared? Hell yeah, but he's ready to make the leap as soon as mom is better. He even told me that he feels really sad and disapointed that we had to cancel May as our date. He told me that he's ready to be a daddy. So...I actually think in my heart I knew that we needed to do this, but the selfish part of me didn't want to say it outloud because OH actually gave me a date, I didn't want to let it go, as stupid as that sounds. And I was still in shock about what mom is going through I think. I feel relieved and crushed all at the same time...it's weird. In the mean time we're going to work really hard at saving money and getting our credit cards paid off, so that's good. Making sure mom has a full recovery is all that matters right now. Sorry for rambling...I needed to let it out!