tskbyzantium
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- Feb 11, 2014
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Hi,
This is my first time on a forum like this so please excuse any ignorance. I guess I'm hoping that perhaps somebody had experienced or is experiencing something similar. This is going to be long, so apologies.
My partner and I have been together for 5 years and are both 24, and also both female. I had wanted a child before I was with my partner, in fact I can't remember not wanting a child, and it was a massive plus knowing that my partner also wanted to have a child quite young. For about the last two years we discussed plans, and had we been a heterosexual couple I have no doubt we would already have conceived. Around this time last year found a lovely donor who has successfully donated twice before and agreed to help us. We discussed with him that we needed about a year, and that all of the time scales worked well for him. He is moving back to his home country at the end of 2014, and is willing to help us until that point.
We set the first cycle to try as Jan 2014, but ended up booking a long-haul 'last fling' over Christmas and New Year, and so agreed when we arrived back at the beginning of Jan to wait a month to 'settle' back into life before our first try (to be honest I think we're both really anxious about the whole thing!)
I then brought up at the beginning of Feb to my partner that we needed to discuss our dates for this month with the donor and sort out hotel arrangements and times etc. To my surprise, my partner simply stated "there's no point in worrying about that yet is there?!". I was shocked and defensively asked why on earth there would be no point worrying about it, to which she simply replied that we'd discussed putting it off a while and that there was no rush.
Now I'm totally confused about the whole thing. I've tried to talk to understand where we're at or what has changed or if she has doubts, however I start to blubber and raise my voice at the lack of definite response and she in turn gets defensive and the conversation stutters to a halt.
I know that we need to talk, but I just can't get passed how it seems one minute to have been so close and planned out and the next like it wasn't even a definite to begin with?! I know we haven't got our wires crossed; rather that maybe she has panicked or had a change of heart and doesn't feel able to discuss it?
I'm now doubting myself and worrying that it's not even what I want if I can be so wrong about believing that we were both at the same place and so ready and now we can't even have a discussion about something so important.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation? I don't know where to start with how I feel. I feel like I have lost something, and I certainly feel uncertain about everything that we've discussed and planned.
Thanks for reading,
This is my first time on a forum like this so please excuse any ignorance. I guess I'm hoping that perhaps somebody had experienced or is experiencing something similar. This is going to be long, so apologies.
My partner and I have been together for 5 years and are both 24, and also both female. I had wanted a child before I was with my partner, in fact I can't remember not wanting a child, and it was a massive plus knowing that my partner also wanted to have a child quite young. For about the last two years we discussed plans, and had we been a heterosexual couple I have no doubt we would already have conceived. Around this time last year found a lovely donor who has successfully donated twice before and agreed to help us. We discussed with him that we needed about a year, and that all of the time scales worked well for him. He is moving back to his home country at the end of 2014, and is willing to help us until that point.
We set the first cycle to try as Jan 2014, but ended up booking a long-haul 'last fling' over Christmas and New Year, and so agreed when we arrived back at the beginning of Jan to wait a month to 'settle' back into life before our first try (to be honest I think we're both really anxious about the whole thing!)
I then brought up at the beginning of Feb to my partner that we needed to discuss our dates for this month with the donor and sort out hotel arrangements and times etc. To my surprise, my partner simply stated "there's no point in worrying about that yet is there?!". I was shocked and defensively asked why on earth there would be no point worrying about it, to which she simply replied that we'd discussed putting it off a while and that there was no rush.
Now I'm totally confused about the whole thing. I've tried to talk to understand where we're at or what has changed or if she has doubts, however I start to blubber and raise my voice at the lack of definite response and she in turn gets defensive and the conversation stutters to a halt.
I know that we need to talk, but I just can't get passed how it seems one minute to have been so close and planned out and the next like it wasn't even a definite to begin with?! I know we haven't got our wires crossed; rather that maybe she has panicked or had a change of heart and doesn't feel able to discuss it?
I'm now doubting myself and worrying that it's not even what I want if I can be so wrong about believing that we were both at the same place and so ready and now we can't even have a discussion about something so important.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation? I don't know where to start with how I feel. I feel like I have lost something, and I certainly feel uncertain about everything that we've discussed and planned.
Thanks for reading,
