TTC one off month! Would be due 1 month before wedding

callmedan

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Me and oh have decided to try just for July then wait till May next year after we get married! So excited, although the due date would be 6 weeks before the wedding and I know you can go up to 2 weeks over which would be 4 weeks... Am I daft? Haha
Our reasons are
-we both really want a baby and have just been waiting for so long
-I don't think I can wait another year knowing I could have had one chance
-wedding will all be organised by end of summer this year
-it probably won't even happen but it would be amazing if it did

All I can think of is having a baby, I can't handle it anymore!
 
And have a 4-6 week old baby at the wedding? Sorry if I got that wrong but if that's the case I advise against that vehemently, the first few weeks of a baby's life is a blur, you're knackered, hormonal, bleeding, possibly still have a belly, if breastfeeding most likely have a baby attached to you. If you really are desperate I would try a couple of months later so you will only be pregnant on the wedding day not have a baby. The newborn days of both my babies were the hardest of my entire life, I didn't want to leave the house never mind get married!! I wouldn't even attend someone else's wedding. We got married when DS1 was 12 weeks. I couldn't think of a worst time to get married honestly, much better to be pregnant or make sure baby will be at least 8 weeks old I would say at the very minimum and only then of it really had to be.

Honestly if you're that desperate why not just book a quickie wedding this year?
 
Best wishes Callmedan! I can understand wanting to try for just a month just to see. It sounds like you have thought this out and are prepared for whichever way it might go. It may not be what some if us would want, but if it's what you and DF want, then go for it. Have fun!
 
Have to agree with MarineWAG, the newborn days are unlike anything you could possibly imagine. They are so all-consuming and I spent the first six weeks with my butt firmly planted on my recliner with my boobs out 24/7. I would not in a million years want to get married in that state!

It's of course up to you and I am sure you would find a way to make it work, but I wouldn't have wanted to be stressing and scrambling just to get through my wedding day just having given birth weeks before.
 
It's worth remembering that weddings require input for a few weeks before, dress fittings hair trials arranging invites and seating plans etc etc, and with a brand new baby that would be hard, I Dr why you want to but you risk not enjoying your wedding or your new baby and stressing yourself out.I agree with others off you want your"one shot" maybe it should be to be second trimester at the wedding when you'll be feeling ok probably.
 
Agree with everyone else. Its up to you, of course, but you would probably be kicking yourself if you had a LO that young and tried to still be planning. It is surprising how many small details pop up in that last week or two that just consume all your time/energy with a wedding. And if you nurse, you will be up every hour and a half or so to for the first 6+ weeks (I had bags under my eyes for the first 8 weeks). These things together will take two very enjoyable experiences and make you miserable/stressed rather than being able to get everything you can from both.

If you're set on trying this month and do fall pregnant, would you be able to move the wedding up a few months? Or hold off and try this fall? That way you don't risk going into labor right at the wedding date?

I don't mean to be a Debbie downer about trying this month...its an incredibly exciting time and I wish you the very best. I just know from having just gotten through the newborn stage, its hard...harder that you can imagine or prepare for. Very much worth it, no doubt, but to add another major life event would have been overwhelming. I Dont want for you to feel like you have to sacrifice bonding time with your LO or parts of your wedding day trying to juggle both. Best of luck with whatever you decide!
 
And have a 4-6 week old baby at the wedding? Sorry if I got that wrong but if that's the case I advise against that vehemently, the first few weeks of a baby's life is a blur, you're knackered, hormonal, bleeding, possibly still have a belly, if breastfeeding most likely have a baby attached to you. If you really are desperate I would try a couple of months later so you will only be pregnant on the wedding day not have a baby. The newborn days of both my babies were the hardest of my entire life, I didn't want to leave the house never mind get married!! I wouldn't even attend someone else's wedding. We got married when DS1 was 12 weeks. I couldn't think of a worst time to get married honestly, much better to be pregnant or make sure baby will be at least 8 weeks old I would say at the very minimum and only then of it really had to be.

Honestly if you're that desperate why not just book a quickie wedding this year?

Totally agree with this. Personally I would wait, enjoy your wedding day and begin TTC afterwards rather than try and get a month of trying in quickly. It'd be such hard work with your newborn and as MW said you will probably still be bleeding and your figure will likely not be at it's best.
 
If it were me, I would wait until after the wedding or if I couldn't wait a year I would have a small wedding this year and try after that.
 
Is there any way you can bring your wedding forward so you can TTC sooner?
 
thanks for your replies... yes its crazy and i know it would be so so hard having a new born but i just felt desperate..
we cant move the wedding forward as i work in a school so has to be done around holidays plus deposits have already been paid and with buying a house too we cant afford to lose any money
as it stands i have just been given a new job at work which will keep me very busy and i am very excited to start so we are leaning towards waiting
 
Sorry to always sound like a negetive ninny :flower: I don't mean to be deliberately so, it is with the best intentions. You're on the last leg now, you have so much to look forward to but I know it's probably a case of so near yet so far!
 
I think's that's a good idea to wait.
 
Sorry to always sound like a negetive ninny :flower: I don't mean to be deliberately so, it is with the best intentions. You're on the last leg now, you have so much to look forward to but I know it's probably a case of so near yet so far!

its fine :thumbup: sometimes you need someone to look at the other side of things!
i know now were so close but just not quite there its even harder! especially because we were going to try May this year but we got engaged and decided to get married this year instead!
 
Honestly I agree with everyone else. The newborn days were easy for me, but I had like the magical unicorn of newborn babies, it's normally not like that. :haha:
There are a lot of other things about having a newborn that would make planning a wedding and getting married very difficult and uncomfortable though, even if you have the most mild mannered and best sleeping newborn in the world. You're hormonal, bleeding huge clots everywhere, in pain, and if you're nursing then your boobs will leak EVERYWHERE all the time because they overproduce for the first few weeks to the first couple months. You also feel incredibly unattractive and fat because you still have a bit of a bump leftover from your baby (and it takes a while to fit back into your old clothes again). Most of the planning for the wedding would be within the month before as well, so instead of being over the moon with baby bliss and being excited about getting married you will be really stressed out and both experiences will not be enjoyable.

I know that waiting is hard, but I would wait until you were going to be at least still pregnant (preferably second trimester) rather than have a baby right before your wedding or being so pregnant that you're about to pop. Besides, if it were a one off shot for this cycle and you didn't get pregnant, how would you feel? Believe me, you wouldn't feel okay about it, you wouldn't feel like it was fair or meant to be. You'd just be upset that AF showed up or you got a :bfn: and that the one off cycle was a bust. You wouldn't be able to just go back to WTT, you'd be begging your DF to try again. And what if you did get pregnant? Sure, at first you'd feel excited about it think "OMG, yay! My eggo is finally preggo!" but after the initial :bfp: high wears off and you basically just get to the point of your pregnancy where you're over being pregnant and you're just ready for your baby to get here already (we like to call this pregnancy limbo) you may feel regret that you didn't wait.

Believe me, I really considered asking my DF if we could try just for June and July for a one off chance since it would still be a couple of months or so before our wedding. I know that rationally though I would regret it for all of the reasons I just mentioned to you. I know that it's not the right time and next year will be here before I know it. Besides, there is absolutely no way that he'd say yes. :haha:
 
I think in the end, you have to do what feels right for the two of you. If it were me, I would plan it so that the baby would come after the wedding (and not so that the due date was too close to the wedding, just in case he/she comes early). To me, that's just too much to worry about in a small space of time. You want to be able to enjoy your wedding, not have a newborn baby to take care of, getting little sleep beforehand, etc. What about a honeymoon...do you plan to take one? Would you take the baby with you? I don't imagine most mothers wanting to leave their newborn for a week or so. But, those things may not be really important to you compare to having a child, so they may not even matter.
 
I agree with what everyone else said. Plus what if baby comes late? May only be 4 weeks postpartum at wedding. Your boobs will be leaking like a beast, you will feel chubby and bloated, your face looks bloated, you are still bleeding (erm makes for a romantic wedding night?). Personally I would wait or push up/back the wedding but hey it is your life.
 

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