TTC with a husband that has OCD

[rustyswife828]

Ok girls I need your advice! So we're TTC #1 even though I miscarried our first one at 8 weeks.. Anywho.. I'm really need someone to talk to that has a husband that's OCD...

He was officially diagnosed with OCD at age 17.. He does CRAZY things and he's on an anti-depressant. He's cool with getting dirty during the day but when he takes a shower.. THE CRAZINESS STARTS!

He won't fix his plate for lunch the next door, scoop the cats box, take out the trash, walk outside.. etc...

I had mentioned to him so is this how its going to be after we have a baby? I'm going to have to do everything after you shower?

His reply was "well we don't have one now do we?"



Anyone else battling this? I think I'll kill him once I do conceive!!

 

[CheshireDucky]

Have you tried just sitting him down and having an actual conversation with him and not just mentioning it in passing? Telling him you're worried about certain things (like scooping the litter boxes) and that you'd feed better having a plan or reassurance. If his OCD allows it, maybe he can push his shower back or scoop the boxes before his shower/in the morning when he's comfortable.

There's also the option to go to his therapist together and talk it out, see if they can help you come up with a plan or that they can adjust sessions to help him prepare for baby.

 

[MindUtopia]

I don't have a partner with OCD, but I do have OCD myself. I would say it seems like either he needs better treatment (perhaps cbt?) or you need to find a way to work around it. Now is seriously the easy bit. It gets really hard when you have a child because you can't plan your life around you anymore. Is it not possible for him to do those things before he showers or shower twice? Personally, I wouldn't want to do that stuff and then go to bed without a shower, so I shower at night before bed. If it's been a really icky day, I might shower when I get home, then do what I need to around the house, make dinner, put my daughter to bed, then I'd still shower again before bed.

In my experience, trying to force it won't work, but I would try to work together to find strategies for how he can still go the things he needs to do every day while still feeling comfortable and not distressed. That might involve doing some cbt or further therapy or changing up his meds. But I would sort it now because having a baby is stressful and likely to trigger a lot of anxiety if he doesn't have techniques for managing it better.

Hope that's helpful.

(Also sorry for your loss. I also had a mc in April and found out last week I am pregnant again. Hope it's smooth going for you too.)