Two best friends pregnant but still not me

[Mrs Treacle]

Morning everyone,

Just wanted to vent a little today. Two of my best friends who I've known since school announced yesterday that they are pregnant, both due in May. One already has a gorgeous little girl and the other only got married a few months ago, neither had actively been 'trying'.
I'm so happy for them but also feel increadibly jealous. Is that wrong? I feel like such a horrible person but I feel like It's never going to be me.

 

[BumpRequired]

just remember it happens in 3's... you could be the 3rd!? fingers crossed for you x

 

[BobDog]

just remember it happens in 3's... you could be the 3rd!? fingers crossed for you x

I second that!! you WILL be the 3rd, just drag a few of us with you...?! lol
x

 

[mrs_lukey]

My best friend had been a great support to me throughout my TTC journey and MC's and was one of the only people who I told everything. Then she called me all excited in August to tell me she'd just done a pregnancy test and it was positive. I knew she hadn't been for her last injection but as her bloke is in the military and only home for 1 night a week I didn't expect her to be getting pregnant so quickly.

Whilst I was initially happy for her that has completely gone now. Since she has become pregnant her attitude towards my problems has changed and I keep being told "you're not timing it right" or "you need to relax it's just stress". The other classics have been "I wish you'd hurry up and get pregnant so we can have babies together" and "don't worry you can cuddle my baby everyday when it's born".

I've tried to explain that her being pregnant is very hard for me but all I got after that was "don't worry I expected you to be jealous, now you know how I felt when you got married". Hmmmm not quite the same thing...........if her and her boyfriend decided to get married they can - just like that. However we decided over 2 years ago that we wanted a baby and for medical and other reasons beyond my control I can't seem to have one!!!

On the other hand I have 2 other friends who are pregnant and both of them have been great with me about it and I have therefore been able to be happy for them. They aren't being insensitive and it means I actually want to know how they are and what the baby is up to!!

Just shows how different people can really get a different reaction!!

 

[Mrs Treacle]

mrs lukey, that's exactly the reason why I haven't told anyone that me and hubby are ttc - I'm so afraid they will try and tell me we're doing things wrong.

Actually, all the friends in our 'know each other since school' group are pestering me to be next to make it a hat trick for 2011. They have no idea that we have been trying so hard and I think that makes it harder for me to accept. All I want to do is scream "we ARE trying".

Nobody understands what I'm going through apart from you girls on here. Just because they got pregant at the drop of a hat it doesn't mean that it happens for everyone.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw mrslukey! its the patronising thats the worst bit!

aw i didnt know you had to time it i thought you could get pregnant anytime of the month so THATS what i have been doing wrong for two years, i must be some sort of idiot not to even at least google trying to conceive and see what came up! oh and yes getting married is just the same as not being able to have a baby all those happily engaged couples out there just attempting to get married but just cant and yes i will love to hold your baby every day to serve as a reminder of what i dont have - your pearls of wisdom inspire me!

lol

thing is i was pregnant really really quick with my first and knew a couple of people i knew who had been trying, i would NEVER have gone up to them and been like relax, its timing, you tried this you tried that? because lets face it what the hell did i know about it back then! now is a little different because i am on my 9th cycle and am pretty clued up now lol but even so i would only give advise if asked!

if you are able to speak fairly freely to her mrs lukey i would be like - look you really dont need to fill the silences or my rhetorical questions with whatever you think you should say to me, silence and a hug is fine thanks! lol

my friend's due date is the 1st december, again she is wonderful we dont really talk about ttc but she knows how long i have been trying and how much i want it and she just gives me a big hug and say it will be ok you will get there in the end hun, you are meant to be a mummy to lots of babies!

 

[L999]

It will soon be 1 yr since I got pregnant (lost it at 12 weeks) since then 4 of my friends have had babies and I know 4 people that are pregnant. I am now at the point where I am happy for people but am so jealous it has changed who I am as a person. My husband tries to hide it from me when his friends tell him they are expecting - he doesn't want to upset me. Why oh why cant I get pregnant too!!
Oh well - sorry for ranting I just feel so fed up today about it all.
Off to see my friend (and her baby!!) xxx

 

[Nat0619]

Hi Ladies

I totally sympathise with you all on this. I have 'fertile friends' who seem to just look at each other and get pregnant

My best friend lives in New Zealand now. She has a little boy who is nearly 2, who she conceived the first month of trying. She came over to visit in June this year and said she was going to start trying for their second when they got home in July. I am going to phone her this week as we haven't spoken since July (but have e-mailed regularly), but I am dreading that she may say she is pregnant again when I call. How bad is that? I will be happy for her but so jealous too. She knows we are trying, we had already been trying for about 4 months when she visited.

x

 

[mrs_lukey]

Sadly I think it's harder to deal with your own TTC when you see others pregnant all the time. It just feels like a nice big kick in your gut xx

 

[RoseRed7]

your way

 

[tl682]

Morning everyone,

Just wanted to vent a little today. Two of my best friends who I've known since school announced yesterday that they are pregnant, both due in May. One already has a gorgeous little girl and the other only got married a few months ago, neither had actively been 'trying'.
I'm so happy for them but also feel increadibly jealous. Is that wrong? I feel like such a horrible person but I feel like It's never going to be me.

I totally understand that. Everybody around me is getting pregnant, and they all say they only tried for one month. I dont understand that. The only thing I can say is that it WILL HAPPEN!! How long have you been ttc??

 

[faithnhope]

Mrs Treacie, I read your post and I wanted to respond. I can totally relate. My husband and I have been trying for 6.5 yrs. One of those years..my sister who was single with 2 kids, turns up pregnant again with twins. Go figure...she was the last person on earth who needed another baby. Recently, two of my closest friends had babies and another friend who just had a baby is expecting again.......but the good news is I am too!!. So try to think positive, pray and things can turn around just like that. Oh and use your instincts on who you should tell. I didn't tell any of our close friends.

 

[SilverWillow]

Hi Mrs Treacle, I do understand how you feel and it is nothing to feel bad about. I have been feeling like this for years, because although this is only our second month of TTC I have been WTT for years. It seems like I am the last female I know of my age (and younger) who has not yet had children. Although we are happy for our friends it is normal to feel jealous when you want it so much
I hope it is not too long for you!

 

[ebony2010]

Morning everyone,

Just wanted to vent a little today. Two of my best friends who I've known since school announced yesterday that they are pregnant, both due in May. One already has a gorgeous little girl and the other only got married a few months ago, neither had actively been 'trying'.
I'm so happy for them but also feel increadibly jealous. Is that wrong? I feel like such a horrible person but I feel like It's never going to be me.

You are not a horrible person. You are just human. Sending lots of your way. x