Typical day with baby and toddler - please share yours

[Iren_iren]

I have 3 yo DS who goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and 2 weeks old DD
I have my mum helping me out now and OH just went back to work today, but after Christmas it will be just me and them and i have no idea how to handle it

I just have no experience, so would love to hear how do you structure your day?
Where does your baby nap if you are downstears (we live in the house), i bf and give odd bottle, but DS just wont let me sit and bf calmly, but not sure i am ready to transition to bottles only as i love bf
How you go to shower yourself?
Its just small practical things i am after how to make it through the day and make sure kids are fed and safe

Thanks

 

[A1983]

Hello! Congratulations Firstly, I find it very hard!! And so this is based on having a 2 year old and 2 month old...toddler watches tv a lot more at the moment which she enjoys, I breastfeed during this, or read to her whilst feeding son, showers are a luxury some days - others a breeze - it's all about timings and one day can go smoothly ie baby sleeps so you can make and eat lunch with both hands (can baby wear too but ideally baby is asleep in moses sometimes)...Some days my ds and DD poo at the same time whilst simultaneously crying and it's a case of whose nappy do I do first!

Walks out are nice and son sleeps upstairs in his moses for most naps...If he wakes too soon which they so and there's no reason I let him cry a bit as for us both it works as he has learnt to self soothe back to sleep and for a good time. I try to stick to a routine of breastfeeding every 3 hours as then he doesn't snack and at 6pm toddler goes to bed (she doesn't nap anymore) then I bath baby, play feed and bed by 7pm. Some nights he sleeps better than others...still to discover what it is I do some days that allow a longer sleep at night! Hope this helps

 

[A1983]

Ps I often eat out at places to save cooking/clearing away just while baby is cranky when put down ie cafes or soft plays....makes it a little easier. We don't have any family nearby so it's the little things that help sometimes but it's already getting easier as he's able to sit and watch rather than need to be held constantly

 

[pixxi]

I was you a couple of months ago and I found the idea of my mum and DH not being around very stressful and overwhelming, but the good news is it's not as bad as you think it's going to be!

The bit I found (and still find) most challenging was the morning routine. DH leaves v early and then I'm left to get the kids ready and the oldest to nursery. I get up 15 mins earlier than I thought I'd need to so that I can either have a quick shower to wake me up (if the baby is asleep) or feed the baby back to sleep so that I can have a shower afterwards. I find this is the best time to get the shower in (while DS1 is still asleep too) with no interruptions and makes me feel a lot better, especially if I haven't had enough sleep. I prep as much as possible the night before (DS1s packed lunch, bowls and cups out ready for brekkie, etc) so that it's easy to get things done in the morning, especially if I only have one hand while carrying baby.

Baby then usually falls asleep in the car on the way to nursery, and most mornings will have his long nap then (2-3 hours) so when I get back home I do any urgent/important chores and then if I'm still tired I'll have a lie down and try to nap for a bit (important to fit this in while the older one is out of the house as it's impossible otherwise). The rest of the day is pretty easy compared to the morning for me - if weather's good I walk to pick up DS1 with baby in the sling (fresh air and exercise is great, especially if you've had a bad night) and he'll have another nap (this is a great time to chat to DS1, hold hands and focus on only him). Sometimes baby's still asleep when we get back so I take that opportunity to have my lunch and do any other chores til he wakes. Afternoon is a juggle of keeping DS1 entertained, tending to the baby's needs and trying not to tire myself out too much. My evenings are long (DH doesn't get home til 9/10pm) so I have to pace myself. All meals are batch cooked and frozen so I never have to do any cooking when I'm home on my own. Baby has a couple of catnaps in the evening (in bouncy chair or on our bed) and I get DS1 ready for bed during one of those. Once he's down it's easy again til I go to bed!

To make your BFing sessions a bit calmer in terms of your DS, could you use the time to do something quiet with him that he enjoys? A lot of people recommend reading a book (held by the older child) while feeding, or if you have a hand free you could do drawing/colouring with him or play with cars etc? If he associated the feed time with an opportunity for him to have some time with you as well he may be less disruptive.

I know how daunting it is, but honestly you'll find after a week or two that you've got into your own routine without even realising and things will get easier the older your DD gets

 

[Iren_iren]

Hello! Congratulations Firstly, I find it very hard!! And so this is based on having a 2 year old and 2 month old...toddler watches tv a lot more at the moment which she enjoys, I breastfeed during this, or read to her whilst feeding son, showers are a luxury some days - others a breeze - it's all about timings and one day can go smoothly ie baby sleeps so you can make and eat lunch with both hands (can baby wear too but ideally baby is asleep in moses sometimes)...Some days my ds and DD poo at the same time whilst simultaneously crying and it's a case of whose nappy do I do first!

Walks out are nice and son sleeps upstairs in his moses for most naps...If he wakes too soon which they so and there's no reason I let him cry a bit as for us both it works as he has learnt to self soothe back to sleep and for a good time. I try to stick to a routine of breastfeeding every 3 hours as then he doesn't snack and at 6pm toddler goes to bed (she doesn't nap anymore) then I bath baby, play feed and bed by 7pm. Some nights he sleeps better than others...still to discover what it is I do some days that allow a longer sleep at night! Hope this helps

Thank you so much! It really helps to see how other people do it and how i can try some of the things.
With bf its challenging, DS starts pushing me/nursing pillow, throw his toys around, so not sure if that will change later on

 

[Iren_iren]

Ps I often eat out at places to save cooking/clearing away just while baby is cranky when put down ie cafes or soft plays....makes it a little easier. We don't have any family nearby so it's the little things that help sometimes but it's already getting easier as he's able to sit and watch rather than need to be held constantly

Thats good idea! I think i will make it tradition to go out for lunch one day a week when DS does not have nursery i have cafe with children play area nearby
As much as i like newborns, i am looking forward when DD will be older so she can interact with DS more

 

[Teri7489]

Usually me and dd who is 2 get up when my 3 month old son wakes around 8. Dd helps change his bum, then we change hers. I fix her some breakfast then bf Ds. I pop the TV on for dd then take ds to the bathroom in his bouncy seat while I get washed and changed. I then sort dd, get her dressed then she helps get D's ready. If we are going to toddler groups then I will already have bags packed the night before so just coat and go. Same for any day out. Days in we spend making dens/arts & crafts or baking. I usually have ds in his bouncy seat next to us ( early days I had him in his carry cot on the sofa next to me as I had section)

Next we have lunch, and then add goes for a nap. I fire round the housework then either have a cuddle with ds and a cuppa or a nap if I'm tired

We usually have dinner with dh which are normally made in the slow cooker which I sort at night and switch on first thing.

Dd goes to bed at 7 so I settle ds in his big pillow (safely of course,) and get dd to bed. Then I have the evening with ds who us cluster feeding from 8-11 at the minute.

Great advice I got was if a toddler is tired hungry or thirsty then their tantrums are 100% worse. Since making sure she is well fed, got a drink available at all times and always has her nap it had gotten so much better. Involving her in the care of her brother has stopped jealousy and one to one time with her helps make her feel loved & secure.

Its hard to begin with but just gradually falls in to place. As pp said, some days work great and others nor so much. Just enjoy the madness, you will miss it terribly when its gone xxx

 

[jodilee6]

4 months in and we still take each day as it comes!

DS1 has preschool 2 1/2 days a week, the time he gets there varies from 7:30-9 depending on the night I've had!

Things have started to get easier as DS2 has found his own rhythm to the day however we've been hit hard by the 4 month sleep regression

The one bit of advice I'd say is don't be too hard on yourself, it will take time to work out so don't expect it to just work from day 1

 

[Iren_iren]

I was you a couple of months ago and I found the idea of my mum and DH not being around very stressful and overwhelming, but the good news is it's not as bad as you think it's going to be!

The bit I found (and still find) most challenging was the morning routine. DH leaves v early and then I'm left to get the kids ready and the oldest to nursery. I get up 15 mins earlier than I thought I'd need to so that I can either have a quick shower to wake me up (if the baby is asleep) or feed the baby back to sleep so that I can have a shower afterwards. I find this is the best time to get the shower in (while DS1 is still asleep too) with no interruptions and makes me feel a lot better, especially if I haven't had enough sleep. I prep as much as possible the night before (DS1s packed lunch, bowls and cups out ready for brekkie, etc) so that it's easy to get things done in the morning, especially if I only have one hand while carrying baby.

Baby then usually falls asleep in the car on the way to nursery, and most mornings will have his long nap then (2-3 hours) so when I get back home I do any urgent/important chores and then if I'm still tired I'll have a lie down and try to nap for a bit (important to fit this in while the older one is out of the house as it's impossible otherwise). The rest of the day is pretty easy compared to the morning for me - if weather's good I walk to pick up DS1 with baby in the sling (fresh air and exercise is great, especially if you've had a bad night) and he'll have another nap (this is a great time to chat to DS1, hold hands and focus on only him). Sometimes baby's still asleep when we get back so I take that opportunity to have my lunch and do any other chores til he wakes. Afternoon is a juggle of keeping DS1 entertained, tending to the baby's needs and trying not to tire myself out too much. My evenings are long (DH doesn't get home til 9/10pm) so I have to pace myself. All meals are batch cooked and frozen so I never have to do any cooking when I'm home on my own. Baby has a couple of catnaps in the evening (in bouncy chair or on our bed) and I get DS1 ready for bed during one of those. Once he's down it's easy again til I go to bed!

To make your BFing sessions a bit calmer in terms of your DS, could you use the time to do something quiet with him that he enjoys? A lot of people recommend reading a book (held by the older child) while feeding, or if you have a hand free you could do drawing/colouring with him or play with cars etc? If he associated the feed time with an opportunity for him to have some time with you as well he may be less disruptive.

I know how daunting it is, but honestly you'll find after a week or two that you've got into your own routine without even realising and things will get easier the older your DD gets

Thank you! Its good to know someone been in my shoes and adjusted just fine yesterday i cried my eyes out as both kids wanted me for bedtime and DD was hard to settle earlier.
Good tips about the meals, preparing everything you need evening before. My OH has some time in the morning to get ready DS for nursery, so i might use it for shower then

 

[A1983]

Get OH to do a bit of batch cooking too or prepare some lunches..food for me is essential and sometimes the hardest thing to make when I have both on my own

 

[Iren_iren]

Get OH to do a bit of batch cooking too or prepare some lunches..food for me is essential and sometimes the hardest thing to make when I have both on my own

He helps a lot with DS, housework and does all the ironing, but with food..he can do things now and then, but usually expects me to serve food on the table for him
I guess i'll have to fill in the freezer just before my mum leaves or i will be living on biscuits and DS on weetabix

 

[Iren_iren]

4 months in and we still take each day as it comes!

DS1 has preschool 2 1/2 days a week, the time he gets there varies from 7:30-9 depending on the night I've had!

Things have started to get easier as DS2 has found his own rhythm to the day however we've been hit hard by the 4 month sleep regression

The one bit of advice I'd say is don't be too hard on yourself, it will take time to work out so don't expect it to just work from day 1

Thank you, the i needed to hear that, i will try to take each day as it comes. For some reason i expecteverything to be perfect amd i know it wont

 

[mummytobe_93]

I have a 2 year old (today) and a 4 month old

A typical day goes:
8am I get up, kids are still asleep (I know I'm lucky) I get dressed go downstairs, vacuum and mop downstairs as cats make a mess. Clean the kitchen. Go upstairs make my bed, open curtains etc.
8.30- wake kids up if not already awak bring my son in to my daughters room. Change sons nappy, new change of clothes. And then I change my daughters nappy and change her clothes (sometimes I wait until after breakfast if she's going to get messy)
8.45 bring both downstairs. Put son in bouncer or play mat and I give my daughter her breakfast, I feed my son during this time.
9- clean up after breakfast. Bring dirty wash basket down, put the wash on and wash any dishes that need doing. Open curtains in daughters bedroom upstairs.
9.30-10 we usually go out so get everything sorted to go out, shoes out, changing bag etc.
and then we are usually out from like 10.30-1ish depending on what we are doing baby groups/ meeting with friends.
1-Come home- make dinner for me and daughter.
1.30- Afterwards change both of their nappies and clean up after dinner
1.30- 3pmplay with daughter, feed son on and off. Play with toy kitchen/ play doh, painting etc.
3pm put tele on and do any cleaning I need to do if possible. Change their nappies again
4-4.30- make tea.
5pm- tea.
5.30-5.45 bath time for both of them and ready for bed.
6.30- bed time for daughter and then our son stays up until we go to bed.

 

[mummytobe_93]

Also forgot to mention anything like ironing or cleaning bathrooms I have to do when my partners home an daughters asleep after half 6 x

 

[Bebedeux]

My husband works away and is home 6days a month.
We wake up at 8 both babies are givin bottles there both changed then we go downstairs we watch tv and play cars. DD naps, DS and I go outside and play. Then it's dinner time for DS a bottle for DD & DS naps, cleaning, lunch and quick shower for me. Snack and bottle for DS and DD then we go for a walk again play with DS cars etc etc then DS tea and bed DD bottle, DD naps more cleaning grab a bite DD bottle then I'm asleep. Parent groups are great, the library is great and I hate myself to my utter soul as I'm a vegan we walk past the arbitrary as there's alwYs tractors and heavy machinery and that kills time DS loves the place!!
One day at a time. No two will ever be the same. Take it as it comes, your all adjusting and deep breaths and step away when you get overwhelmed I usually wash my hands and take deep breaths and say tomorrow will be a different day.