UGH another rant..

[BabyMamma93]

There really needs to be a 'rant' page on here..
Ive just posted this in one of my other threads but here goes..
My OHs dad came round yesterday and my OH was saying about out LO crying for no reason, i replied that he doesn't cry for 'no reason' he either wants a cuddle, to play, a feed or his nappy changing' to which his dad very 'smartly' replied..
'you don't pick a baby up to cry, or they will always cry, u need to leave them some times for a little while'
so my reply was 'if MY baby wants a cuddle, I will cuddle MY baby, if he cries for a cuddle i will cuddle him, hes a boy, pretty soon he will be far too cool for cuddles from mummy and he will soon grow out of it, i cant see a 5yo boy crying for a cuddle, and if he does, do i care? NO im 21 and still love a good cuddle from my mum & dad.. wrong? i think not' it just really annoys me how people say you shouldn't cuddle a baby bcos they will always do it, well im sure he wont do it for the rest of his life will he really...

my 2nd rant is about weaning!!
My LB has reflux, we've tried gaviscon and different milks, nothings worked, we went to the hospital and they said they aren't willing to do anything for him.. anyway i was telling my mum and my OHs gran their reply was 'well just try him with baby rice/rusks/mashed potato' NO i want to do BLW and giving him mushed up anything takes away the whole concept of BLW.. yeah but it will help.. will it? are you sure it WILL? well it might do.. oh well..if it might do i might as well try what everyone else wants me to try rather than do what I want to do with MY baby!!

3rd rant.. sleeping out..
my LB is 4mo.. my mum is nagging and nagging to have him over night, im not ready yet, i want him to my self, the replies i get are 'you used to sleep at you grandmas every weekend' so and so is having so and so overnight already and shes only 3 week old.. AND!!!! im not so and so, and im not you! i don't want him to sleep out just yet and neither does my OH, im sorry mum but NO!! please stop nagging i will let you when im ready.. if its not my mum nagging its other people saying i NEED to let him go.. my auntie said he will be too clingy cos hes only ever around me and OH.. and your point is?? we are his parents.. so what!!

and the other thing that pees me off (no offence intended) 'oh don't you want a day off'.. a day off? u have a day off from a job, not from a baby, having a baby is not a job, its a lifestyle choice.. day off LOL do i get a weeks paid holiday too from this JOB!!!
then people who post on facebook 'oh having a baby is so hard, i don't have time to eat' 2 mins later a 'selfie' is posted wearing lovely clothes, face full of make up and a caption 'cant wait to get pissed this weekend' OHH lovely, yep, thats great!!

im sure there's another but right now i just cant think!!

 

[spunky84]

1. I hate when people say you're spoiling them by cuddling them when they cry. When LO was 4 months, she would often cry because she wanted cuddled. We cuddled her. It'd upset me when everyone kept saying she was spoiled. 4 months old and spoiled? I don't think so. It's given her a sense of security and she'll grow out of it eventually. It's what she needs, it's what she gets. She's still like that sometime now, but even now, there's plenty of times where she doesn't want held and just wants to play and get into everything.

Easier said than done, but don't let it bother you. I eventually got to a point where I could just brush it off because I knew we were doing what we felt was best for us and her. Enjoy your cuddles while you can get them!

2. I don't really have experience with this or really know how thing work where you're at - could you try scheduling an appointment with LO's Dr? My youngest niece had bad reflux, and I know it was really hard on all of them.

3. You have to be ready and comfortable before you do this! LO does stay with my mom for a weekend (an hour and a half away!) here and there, but I didn't do it until I was okay with the idea. And even then, I'm calling/texting/skyping all the time to see how she's doing. I still give my mom a long list of instructions - even though I know my mom probably know better than me!

It does give me and DH a bit of time to spend together, to get things done that we can't normally get done, etc. I find that it's healthy for all of us involved - LO gets time with her Grammy, Grammy gets her time alone with LO, DH and I get some time together. It also has already given LO the opportunity to experience a lot of things she otherwise wouldn't have.

BUT, it doesn't mean that you have to, especially before you're ready. There's no time frame. I stayed at my mom's with LO when she was 4 months old, but there was no way in hell I was letting LO stay over night without me at that age. It was closer to, I think, 9 months, but we were ready. And it's been enjoyable for all of us.

You may never feel ready. My SIL's oldest is almost 3 and she'll let her stay the night away when hell freezes over. And there's nothing wrong with that. She's not ready.

Just stick to your guns and don't let anyone pressure you into anything or feeling bad.

 

[BabyMamma93]

its really hard to explain what i mean but i know he wont cry for a cuddle forever, hes not going to be a baby forever, he will soon be a toddler that wants to run about and climb not want cuddles from his mum!!

ive been to the Drs and to see a pediatrician about his reflux, bcos hes putting weight on & happy they wont treat him. thats why my mum and OHs gran keep telling me to give him some mushed up food, if i didnt want to BLW i might do, but i DO want to BLW so mushed up food is not a option, then people keep saying one mushed up food a day wont hurt him, no it wont but like i say, it takes away the concept of BLW and as awful as it sounds this ties in with my next one, with my mum wanting him over night..

My mum had my cousin over night, and she gave him rusks, before his own mum did, and i know i can tell my mum not to do something, she probably still would, if i told her finger foods only, she would still prob blend a sunday dinner up and feed him that.. she doesnt understand the concept of BLW!!
im not far off letting my mum have LO over night, ive said to my OH maybe we should, just to see how we cope, if i send him off and 2 hours later i want him back, so be it, id go get him, but it would be nice to have time just for me and OH but the way i see it.. its not just us 2 anymore, and when LO goes to bed thats strange enough LOL, anyway my OHs reply to me saying maybe we should let him stay out 'i dont want him staying out until hes old enough to ask me if he can stay out, he can stay out when he can decide for him self' which yeah i think its a good point. but IDK i do feel bad that we say no, our LO is my mums first grandchild, and hes more special because hes a boy, my mum miscarried 4 boys bcos she just cant carry them.. so yeah while hes a baby i would like to let him stay out, but i just dont feel ready, i will cry and not sleep id be on the phone all the time and worry.. but like i say, i probably would let him stay out just to see how id cope, but it is more OH that wont

 

[twobecome3]

 

[TwilightAgain]

I hate people who believe you can spoil a baby nothing wrong with a baby letting his parents know he wants a cuddle. If anything, lots of cuddles/attention will promote security which in turn will encourage independence. Some people have bizarre logic. They're only little for a short while, might as well take advantage of the cuddles whilst you can.

As for everything else, tell them to butt out. Unless you're doing anything dangerous (which you're not) then your baby = your rules.

 

[salamander91]

I totally understand your feelings. Just wanted to mention that my lo has reflux and we weaned early. We now do a mix of tw and blw and he eats really well so I don't think weaning early necessarily will damage your plan to blw. Saying that though, Flynn wasn't particularly interested in food until 6 months anyway and I don't think it helped his reflux.

 

[HKateH]

I totally understand your feelings. Just wanted to mention that my lo has reflux and we weaned early. We now do a mix of tw and blw and he eats really well so I don't think weaning early necessarily will damage your plan to blw. Saying that though, Flynn wasn't particularly interested in food until 6 months anyway and I don't think it helped his reflux.

You can't mix trad weaning and baby led, the two negate each other. What you mean is traditional weaning with the accompaniment of finger foods, which tends to be what is recommended by health visitors these days. Baby led weaning is no spoon feeding whatsoever and no puréed food that wouldn't otherwise be in 'liquid' form (eg soup/porridge).

 

[Alyssa Drough]

I've let my LO stay with grandparents for the day (she's 7 months now). But I couldn't imagine leaving her with them or anyone overnight. She needs her mummy cuddles in the night

My Nan is the kind of person who says I pick her up too much, or I should put her down instead of letting her fall asleep on me, or I should let her cry for a bit instead of responding immediately etc etc. It does my head in.

 

[salamander91]

I totally understand your feelings. Just wanted to mention that my lo has reflux and we weaned early. We now do a mix of tw and blw and he eats really well so I don't think weaning early necessarily will damage your plan to blw. Saying that though, Flynn wasn't particularly interested in food until 6 months anyway and I don't think it helped his reflux.

You can't mix trad weaning and baby led, the two negate each other. What you mean is traditional weaning with the accompaniment of finger foods, which tends to be what is recommended by health visitors these days. Baby led weaning is no spoon feeding whatsoever and no puréed food that wouldn't otherwise be in 'liquid' form (eg soup/porridge).

My bad! I've not really read up on blw weaning just seen spoon feeding and finger foods called a a mix of tw and blw before

 

[Nevaie]

I've never understood the logic of rejecting a child's need for physical contact/hugs/cuddles but then expecting the child to cuddle when someone wants to. If a spouse were to do the same, it'd be considered selfish and controlling. If a parent rejected their adult child's request to please just hug them in a time of need, it'd be considered cruel. A friend would be accused of not caring. Heck, if the babies themselves refused a cuddle when a friend/relative ect. wants one, they're usually referred to as grumpy, hungry or tired - because clearly something must be wrong if they don't want to cuddle so and so. Yet a helpless infant who spent 9 months attached to someone 24/7 and hasn't had time to adjust to the confusing change not only can be turned down, but apparently 'should be'. It's silly. I usually tell people exactly that if they stick their nose where it didn't belong in the first place and comment on how I handle my child. My super pushy cousin was pretty embarrassed when I shouted across the room to her husband that apparently next time she was upset or crying and asked to be held, he'd better turn her down or risk her being spoiled. But she got the point and shut up. Do what works for you.

 

[BabyMamma93]

it really annoys me because people say it so often that my OH has it in his head that he will be spoiled then when it comes to a nap and our LO wants holding to sleep he moans at me that its my fault. i tell him its all about safety and security, if he feels safe, and warm in my arms then so be it, i don't mind, and i will do this for as long as he wants it whether hes 4 month or 4 years, hes my son and if me and him want cuddles, cuddles is what we will get.