uncomfortable about her sleeping with her uncle...am I being ott?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by steph., Oct 4, 2013.

  1. steph.

    steph. Two little girls!

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    We are going to my in-laws for Xmas. They have a 3 bedroom place and my brother-in-law will also be down at the same time so this means me, dh, Sophia, and the newborn baby will all be in one room. I imagine it might be a bit of a nightmare because the baby may well wake Sophia up several times over night. Well yesterday dh suggested putting Sophia in the same room as his brother. Bil is 29, single, works with kids, and a lovely guy in general but for some reason I really don't feel comfortable having Sophia sleep alone with him. Dh is a bit offended ad he thinks I'm calling his brother a child molester, I really don't think my bil would do anything, but I'd feel much better having no sleep and knowing my dd is safe.

    Would anyone do the same or am I just being ott?
     
  2. bookreader

    bookreader Well-Known Member

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    I always go with my gut, so no I wouldn't.
    Plus, you wont sleep anyway.
     
  3. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    If you need to be alone with the newborn, I suggest your DH sleep in the other room with her and the BIL instead. This is how we do it on holidays, it would be nice for her to have a familiar face instead anyways.
     
  4. darkangel1981

    darkangel1981 New Mummy

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    ^^^WSS

    They can have some brother bonding time :)
     
  5. Bex84

    Bex84 Well-Known Member

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    I wouldent want my lo sleeping in with my bil, nothing to do with not trusting him but I would not be comfortable, I know my lo would not be comfortable either. Im the main person she wants at night (even daddy gets told where to go) I think night is when you want the familiar especially if your daughter is waking up somewhere else other than home. Could you get her one of these https://www.amazon.co.uk/Peppa-Pig-...0885211&sr=8-1&keywords=childrens+blow+up+bed so she can be on the floor, Ive heard they are good
     
  6. suzib76

    suzib76 Well-Known Member

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    If we were sleeping in a room as a family I would find it very strange for one of my kids not to be included in that :shrug: it doesn't matter where the child would be sleeping it would just be strange not to have everyone in together?
     
  7. Flower15

    Flower15 Mum and Pregnant

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    Definatelty would not feel comfortable with that!

    Your BIL might be the nicest person on earth, but it just doesnt seem right. Id go with your gut instinct and its obvious that your not comfortable either. I like the idea of DH sleeping in the room too. Reassurance for you and LO. x
     
  8. jd83

    jd83 Mom to 2 beautiful boys!

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    I agree, go with your gut. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it. It's not the overnight situation that would bother me, its the in the same room that would bother me. I have no problem with my kids staying the night with relatives, but I would not be okay with them sharing a room with the relative. You just never know, even with those you trust and love. I was molested by 3 different people as a child, so am very wary of those type situations.
     
  9. MrsPear

    MrsPear Mum

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    I wouldn't be comfortable, nothing to do with child molesting (would trust my own brother and my BIL a million percent) but if Joni woke up in the night, she might get scared having her uncle asleep there instead of her mum or dad. Is there any other configuration that would mean your OH and elder child can be in one room (maybe with BIL?) and you in another with the younger child? x
     
  10. Button#

    Button# Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be comfortable either, just because I know Ashley wouldn't like to wake up in the same room as someone who wasn't me or OH.
     
  11. lhancock90

    lhancock90 2 toddlers, 1 MMC, WTT#3

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    I'd ask DH to share with BIL and your daughter, you alone with baby?

    x
     
  12. Cinnamon Girl

    Cinnamon Girl Well-Known Member

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    I agree I wouldn't like it either plus how qould she feel not being able to aleep with her family and banished to another room qith her uncle qho she probably haa never known past an occasional visit
     
  13. emalou90

    emalou90 Well-Known Member

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    if it was me.
    I wouldnt. Just because.. no reason really? i wouldnt sleep, shes not his responsibility either shes mine, so i do everything (as silly as it sounds, i hardly rely on anyone because thats the way being a parent is in my mind) x
     
  14. sparkle_1979

    sparkle_1979 Mum to Ruby born Oct 2009

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    Nope I wouldn't like it one bit and wouldn't allow it. No reason, don't need one xx
     
  15. PepsiChic

    PepsiChic mummy of 2 boys!

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    for a # of reasons

    I dont feel comfortable with it
    my LO wouldnt feel comfortable with it
    my LO doesnt know his uncle well enough
    my LO may wake and keep BIL up during the night
    LO may need me and then i'd have to be in the room settling LO back down which may wake BIL
     
  16. sequeena

    sequeena Winging it.

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    If you are uncomfortable then that's your prerogative and I don't think you're wrong for it. You're her mum.

    I can't speak for everyone, but when my son sleeps at my aunt's house (twice so far) he has slept in the bed with my aunt and uncle. I was sexually abused as a child and thought I may have had stronger opinions on it but no, I am very happy to be in the same bed as my uncle as I 100% trust him and know he would never ever harm my son in any way.
     
  17. Rags

    Rags Mother of 1 boy

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    I'd be very surprised if your brother in law was happy to be put into this position, especially as he works with children and will therefore understand how easy it is for things to be miss construed. I wouldn't put him, or my lo, into that position. Good luck.
     
  18. LaughOutLoud

    LaughOutLoud Well-Known Member

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    I would trust my own brothers BUT i have never let DD sleep with anyone but me and DH, so for those reasons I wouldnt let her sleep with them. I wouldnt sleep and I cant imagine her being comfortable with someone else either. BIL is out the question.
     
  19. AC1987

    AC1987 Mom of 2 DD's

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    I'd find it weird too! And I'd be uncomfy about it. I don't think I'd really hafta justify it, it just seems odd.
     
  20. emyandpotato

    emyandpotato Well-Known Member

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    Honestly wouldn't bother me. I don't know if I'd feel differently if I had a girl, though I don't think I would. If you're not comfortable though then don't. If there's a big living room could your DH and DD make a game out of camping downstairs?
     

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