uneducated moron making me angry!!!

[tinadecember]

I was just on google doing some research on women in their 20s doing IVF. I am 27, my DH is 32 and we have MF infertility. We've been trying for baby 2 for 2 years.

So I came across a comment from a woman who obviously has no problem getting pregnant and even makes a comment on how she didn't want to be pregnant with her son about how opting for IVF when you're in your 20s is going to extremes!

I wonder why a woman in her mid-twenties would feel the need for IVF to begin with. I guess if you want a child, and you've been told by a doctor that young that you have fertility issues, there's a "better start now" mentality in case it takes X amount of years to be successful. But in my mind, that just seems so young to be going to such extremes.

For the record, I'm 25 and have a one year old. He wasn't planned. (And was actually planned against in a number of ways, and yet. Here he is, running amuck about my feet with no pants on as I type this, and I'm loving every second of it.) I know there must be plenty of women who know at this age that they want a child, and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I'm just definitely on the outside looking in on this specific issue, I guess, so it seems so strangely foreign to me.

Does she think we are going to "extreme measures" for the fun of it?

Had to vent because this made my blood boil xx

 

[rebecca822]

People who are not going through IF are in no lace to judge us.

 

[Mrs G]

I think the phrase "walk a mile in my shoes" is apt here and agree with pp. I think unless you've been there, whether it be issues ttc, mc, still birth, you don't truly understand what it's like and are not really in a place to offer comment. I have always found its those people who are lucky enough to conceive, carry and give birth without problems who are the most opinionated.
Don't let I upset you hun, people like that aren't worth it.
Xxx

 

[lisap2008]

I agree with the pp ,People who have never struggled to conceive will never understand the pain of infertility.

 

[MollyNorwood]

....aaaaannnnddd..... some people are just jerks with no shred of empathy in their bodies. Can't win them all, I'm afraid.

 

[tinadecember]

I agree girls, it's like she is throwing it in our faces that she has a child and is "loving every minute of it" ... thanks for that. Now take your heartless comments else where!

xx

 

[KatO79]

Wow I'm 36 TTCing #1 (1 year 10 months), going to start IVF around October and she's annoying even me and I'm not in my 20s

She obviously has a very easy time getting pregnant and should count her lucky stars - instead she judges those that have fertility issues and opt for IVF because it's the only way they can have a baby in the forseeable future (if they don't want to risk it taking years and years) or maybe the only way they can have a baby at all.

Unfortunately I think this is society on the whole these days - people that had an easy time with something don't understand the ones that can't accomplish what they did as easily and just judge them based on what their situation is and not thinking about how the situation may be very different for someone else. It's the easiest thing in the world to just judge people instead of trying to be empathetic and understand why they need help, in this case IVF.

You almost hope that if she wants baby #2 that she suffers from secondary infertility and will need IVF, don't you Might knock some sense into her

Probably a waste of time trying to talk sense into her but I'd have been sorely tempted if I'd seen her remark, despite my age

 

[Moma Ali]

I find their are 4 types of people and 1 of them is rare there is:

* the world is overpopulated, just adopt people
* the I have 6 kids but feel I should have an opinion on what I dont know people
* the infertile people (us)
and the very rare
* I dont want kids or have kids but dont judge/id help someone else

it annoys me off so much that people dont get it, its MEDICAL issue - im bloody sick of it being called a 'lifestyle choice' its only a bloody choice if you get to decide, you can decide to have kids or not to have kids but you dont get to choose being infertile

besides other actual 'lifestyle choices' are covered medically on the NHS like smoking, drinking and drugs which are self inflicted... so they get treated for filling their lungs with smoke then moaning they cant breath and thats fine but its not fine for us to get help - its not like im using contraception then moaning im not pregnant

but on the 'young' point its also not talked about much among young people, a lot of people assume IVF is only for people 40+ who spent too long building a career and then freaked out in a med life crisis which is not true but pretty much all that is talked about or portrayed in the media, I find it so hard to find even on websites like these threads for people under 30 - most 'healthy' (i.e not infertile people) will have a child before 35 with many being in their 20s or even teens so why should it be wrong for infertile people to want their family at the same time

I also heard one woman (an anti-IVF campaigner) say 'why waste your money on something as frivolous as having kids - its disgusting'

WHAT? there is literelly nothing in this WORLD more important than my little family... if you want to WASTE your money on 'frivolous' things like holidays and cars then die alone in a nursing home (I worked in care and it tends to work out like that) then go ahead but im going to have a rich life surround by those I love and watch them flurish into great and amazing members of the world and EVERYONE deserves that right, your personal choices and views do not negate our rights to a family

sorry ranted a bit

 

[bettybee1]

Some people are jerks !! I was 20! When we did Ivf !!!! It took 3 rounds to get my son and was emotionally draining some people don't have a clue unless they walk in your shoes for some time they will never know & should keep some judemental comments to themselves

 

[frsttimemama]

I agree. People who have never been told, "I'm sorry, but you'll probably never have children," have no idea. They have no clue how it feels so those fertile myrtle folks have no problem passing judgment on those of us who have to hope, pray, eat crazy things, take crazy meds, stand on our heads, BD certain days, pee on sticks a million timed a cycle, show our business to a zillion doctors, and hope and pray some more. They may feel differently if they didn't have the ability to easily become parents (or at all!) I'm so sorry you ran into one of those folks.