unplanned pregnancy.

[Radiance]

OH is unhappy even though it was planned in my case. It sucks.
Big hugs and good luck mate xx

This is what I'm going through. My OH isn't too thrilled and doesn't care for any type of updates on this baby. A major reason is fear for him but I wish he would open up and talk to me about those concerns and fears. It makes me feel awful

 

[Radiance]

Misscalais, I don't have much advice but wanted to tell you congratulations. Try to take this day by day! Give yourself a few days to relax as much as you can and then try to figure out a plan... as far as bills, food, all your children, home, and such.

 

[Mrs.Knight]

I'm going through the same thing. I found out today I'm expecting and I'm so so scared to tell my husband since he has made it clear that he doesn't want kids.

 

[azure girl]

I remember you! This LO wasn't planned quite yet, soon, but not yet. However, we are thrilled, and DH took it really well. I'm sorry it's been rough for you, trying to sell a home is hard, my parents are finding this to be true. I wish you all of the luck, with your family, home, and business.

 

[Misscalais]

Sorry you ladies are going through similar situations. I hope everyones OHs comes around and once bub arrives he will be just totally in love with the new little one. Im here to support you all as well.

 

[laughingduck]

Sorry you are going through this. I hope your hubby reacts better than you fear he will. It is his responsibility as much as yours, and it is really not fair to expect you to get an abortion. Good luck.

 

[mbg81]

Thinking of you i hope everything works out for the best

 

[Misscalais]

Thanks ladies.
So i have told him, i couldn't do it face to face i text him. He isn't really talking to me now and said he just can't handle any more kids. I'm not sure what he's so upset about because he works 6 days a week 12 hours a day. He's gone before they get up and gets home not long before they go to bed.
Don't get me wrong, he's a fantastic loving dad and is so good with the boys. I just don't understand.
Anyway I've got all my bits crossed and hope he comes around but at this point i don't think he will.

 

[Mummy May]

Give him a bit of time, have a good long chat with him. Hope you're okay xx

 

[joeybrooks]

I'm so sorry to hear his reaction. Maybe it is because he works 6 days a week, 12 hours a day that he feels he cannot handle any more, is he doing all of those hours to support his family, if so, maybe he feels that he cannot possibly do any more to provide more, and therefore cannot handle any more responsibilities.

Give him time to get his head around it and have a think about it and come up with some solutions in his own head.

 

[nicem815]

Give him time, like the other posters have said.

In my experience, men tend to like to feel like things are their ideas and like they have some way in what goes on! Perhaps remind him without actually TELLING him how lovely your kiddos are and how great being a parent is. Eg, "Oh, I just couldn't imagine life without our children. They bring us so much happiness and they love you so much!".

Men take longer to come around (generally) and to bond with the baby, especially during pregnancy. I truly hope it all works out for you and that he comes around.

 

[Misscalais]

He's a work-a-holic. He runs his own plumbing business and finds it hard to employ anyone who can do work to his standard and pace. We finally have an apprentice after 4 years and going through about 4 blokes. He does brand new houses is just really ocd when it comes to his work. He doesn't need to work Saturday's but he can't help himself, he has to keep h is clients happy. He is the main provider for our family so he absolutely feels stress about it for sure. He told me he wants to start 'enjoying' his life wanting to travel etc and that another child will set us back ( new car, bigger house etc ). 3rd bub will be 23 months when this one is due. I feel sad that has so much worry.

 

[Misscalais]

Give him time, like the other posters have said.

In my experience, men tend to like to feel like things are their ideas and like they have some way in what goes on! Perhaps remind him without actually TELLING him how lovely your kiddos are and how great being a parent is. Eg, "Oh, I just couldn't imagine life without our children. They bring us so much happiness and they love you so much!".

Men take longer to come around (generally) and to bond with the baby, especially during pregnancy. I truly hope it all works out for you and that he comes around.

I have been trying that and telling him how much our boys are daddies boys, they adore their dad and their little faces just light up when he walks through the door.
He didn't bond with my last pregnancy at all until the day he was born, which i found odd since bub was planned.
Anyway i hope he comes around might have to wait till baby is here for him to accept it which will make for a very lonely pregnancy.

 

[nicem815]

So sorry sweetie....hoping you can find other support systems near you during this trying time.

 

[Misscalais]

So sorry sweetie....hoping you can find other support systems near you during this trying time.

Thank you. Makes it hard because all my family apart from fil live 5-18 hours away. As well as all my friends, i have some ladies at my 1st sons school that i speak to in the afternoons at pick up but don't know them well enough to confide in.

 

[charlie_lael]

Just give him time. My hubby didn't want to talk and was upset for about a week or so before we could talk about it. Now he's taking it better than I am. I'm sure everything will work out fine.

 

[nicem815]

So sorry sweetie....hoping you can find other support systems near you during this trying time.

Thank you. Makes it hard because all my family apart from fil live 5-18 hours away. As well as all my friends, i have some ladies at my 1st sons school that i speak to in the afternoons at pick up but don't know them well enough to confide in.

I hope your husband comes around. I can tell you although my husband was happy about our pregnancy, it took him until I was about 30 weeks to realize that he loved the baby. He kept saying he wouldn't be able to love her until she was born! I think they just take longer than we do. I sincerely hope he comes around! He's probably just stressed about providing, like you said.

 

[Misscalais]

Thanks ladies. I love this forum, so much support i went to the Dr this afternoon and got a beta done and hubby and i are having a chat tonight.

 

[george83]

Hi misscalais we've been on other boards at the same time. I found myself in a similar situation last year although not quite as stressful - ds2 was 7 months old and I fell pregnant with ds3 after our contraception failed. I know there's a big difference between 3 children and 4 children for all the practical reasons you've mentioned, but i was devastated at the time. I felt like I'd let ds2 down and wasn't ready at all to be thinking of having another baby. I also felt incredibly guilty for not feeling happy as I'd had a miscarriage before having ds2. I didn't tell my oh for nearly two weeks as I was so worried about his reaction. I'm hoping everything works out well for you I'm sure your oh will come round eventually x x

 

[Misscalais]

Hi misscalais we've been on other boards at the same time. I found myself in a similar situation last year although not quite as stressful - ds2 was 7 months old and I fell pregnant with ds3 after our contraception failed. I know there's a big difference between 3 children and 4 children for all the practical reasons you've mentioned, but i was devastated at the time. I felt like I'd let ds2 down and wasn't ready at all to be thinking of having another baby. I also felt incredibly guilty for not feeling happy as I'd had a miscarriage before having ds2. I didn't tell my oh for nearly two weeks as I was so worried about his reaction. I'm hoping everything works out well for you I'm sure your oh will come round eventually x x

Thank-you. My 1st two boys are only 14 months apart and i had a tough time with them, felt like I'd taken away some of DS1 babyhood. Hes 6 now and very much Mr independent and i think thats because he had to grow up quickly. Now DS3 will be 23 months and i feel like he will have to grow up quick as well juggling two big boys at school plus new bub and our business. I'm sure it will all work out, im very nervous though. The biggest thing I'm worried about is having to purchase a new car as our car now is a company car.