Unsupportive boyfriend and family

[Sarahanne221]

I recently found out that I'm about 7 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend is trying to get me to have it aborted I have also only recently got a new job and am scared I might lose it if I tell them I'm pregnant. My family don't know that I'm pregnant but are not very supportive of me anyway and I'm really scared and confused and I don't know what to do. Please help.

 

[Laurans]

So sorry to hear you have no support. It's your choice and no boyfriend or anyone can tell you what to do!
In terms of your job, you don't have to tell them for ages ( unless it's heavy lifting maybe or something dangerous for pregnancy) that your pregnant and then they can't get rid of you on that basis! I understand some employers might make up some excuse if your on a probation period but if you have a contract they can't just get rid of you! What does your job involve?
In terms of your family, maybe they would be different when a baby was involved and maybe you have some good friends or more distant relatives that could help!
I know your probably feeling scared about things right now but things are rarely as bad as you think.
I am wishing you all the luck in the world! I bet you are stronger than you think! Xx

 

[Sarahanne221]

I am a receptionist at a nuclear power plant but I've not been given my contract yet so I'm worried that they could just get rid of me! My parents have told me multiple times if I were to get pregnant that I wouldn't be allowed to live with them and I'm not very close to any if my family members! I have a few close friends and I have told two of them that have told me they are going to support me no matter what but they're all leaving for university in September.
I just feel like I'm going to be all alone for the entire pregnancy.
Thankyou for responding!

 

[calm81]

I'm sorry you have no support around you, but nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your body. If you don't want to abort this baby then tell them NO! When the baby comes your boyfriend may change his tune once that sweet bundle looks up at him or it could go the opposite way.

As for the job, you don't have to tell them until you reach your second trimester (as the first trimester is fragile time), and there's laws protecting you from being fired. They can't fire you. Unless you were a swimsuit model they may have to reassign you for a while.

Good luck in whatever you decide and the girls from babyandbump will support you!

 

[Okela]

With my first pregnancy, my (obviously now ex) boyfriend left me when I was 5 months pregnant. It was horrible, I was very lonely and had to go through giving birth with just my mom there. She came around shortly before I went into labor, but the other members of my family took some more time. I think I know what you're feeling right now.

About abortions: yes, it is your choice. It is your body. But I want to make sure you're aware of the following. If you decide to keep the baby against the will of the father, you can't expect anything from him in forms of emotional or financial support (yes, I'm aware you can claim child support, but trust me when I say that it will cause issue after issue if someone is unwilling). It will be very hard and going through a pregnancy on your own is no walk in the park. I am absolutely not telling you what to do, just trying to paint a realistic picture.

That being said: I would sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the possibilities. Ask him straight why he doesn't want this baby; maybe he's just scared. And, if you don't tell your family, nobody will even have the chance to offer support. We have a saying in The Netherlands: you already have a 'no', but a 'yes' can be received. Meaning that if you don't ask, chances are slim to none that they'll say yes. Just try, they'll find out sooner or later!

 

[misscyn]

Don't get an abortion if you want the baby. Everyone told my mother she should abort me because she got pregnant at age 21 while she was still in school. My father was here on a student Visa and was going back to his country without her. Anyway my father wanted her to abort me and so did her doctor. This was back in the 70's and I was going to be the product of an interracial relationship which was rather frowned upon back then. Anyway long story short my mother kept me, and not to brag or anything, but I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. And her grandchild (my daughter) is the second best My mom eventually married a wonderful man and they had 2 more children together. I'm not saying life is always rosie, but things do have a way of working out. Hugs and good luck.

 

[HopingCarter]

I'm so sorry for your situation and I wish I could offer more advice, but at the end of the day, as the PPs have said and I totally agree 100%, it is up to you. You will know what's good for YOU'RE life, with or without a man. I'm not sure if he's going to be there if you decide to keep it, but even if he doesn't, family will most likely be there, even if it looks like they won't right now. I'm pro life, and I really don't wanna impose my views on you. YOU HAVE to do what's best for YOU. No matter what or how hard it is. GL Hun. I will be praying that you be okay, no matter you're decision.