Unsure

Discussion in 'Complete Families' started by crazy4baby09, Jul 12, 2020.

  1. crazy4baby09

    crazy4baby09 Mother of 3

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    I had my 3rd baby a year ago this week. I had always wanted 4 kids, but after everything that happened in life during the pregnancy ( my mom was diagnosed with cancer, had to have multiple surgeries. It took an emotional toll on me). Add to this that I had a difficult delivery. I was induced a week earlier because she was on the larger side and they were concerned I wouldn't be able to deliver her naturally. The labor was really long, they increased the pitocin so much I was contracting every 1-2 minutes for over 6 hrs. My nurse refused to decrease it. I was exhausted. She ended up getting stuck (shoulder dystocia). Thankfully I didnt have to have a c-section, but the doctor got rude with me and told me not to have anymore babies because they are too big. This doctor only met me the day she induced me and knew nothing else about my medical history etc. I only had her because my midwife was unavailable the day they wanted to induce. I told my husband I couldn't do it again, the labor was so much worse than my other 2. I was in pain and vomiting the whole time after delivery, I was done thinking maybe I am too old for more babies (was 33 am 34 now) During labor I threw a gallstones, was in a lot of pain the doctors didnt do anything for it beside a warm pack and tylenol. I found out at my regular doctor checkup. I ended up having my gallbladder removed 3 mos postpartum. They had to repair a hernia before the gallbladder could be removed. My recovery was a lot harder than expected. This seemed to solidify me not wanting to go through pregnancy labor again. Fast forward to now. My body is finally feeling normal again, I feel pretty good most of the time, good routine with my kiddos etc. We are using protection (I can't take birth control) we had a mishap this cycle and it freaked me out because it was around ovulation time. I took a test a few days ago and there was a faint line. I was surprised because I was actually excited, I didn't expect that. I wasn't sure if it was a positive or an evap line. I made a post asking for opinions thinking I may have been seeing things. Well the following day I took another test and there was nothing. I waited a few days and took a test a little while ago and it was definately negative. I guess I wrote this because I am kinda confused on how I feel now. I was so sure I didn't want another and then when I saw the faint line I felt so different. Should I stay with my decision for no more or try again in a year or 2? My husband said he doesn't want any more but has said that after each of the others and he is not dead set against more. He is just worried that something might happen to me and he doesn't want to lose me. Any advice?
     
  2. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    I mean, it depends on how you feel. Like I know this baby is our last, but I absolutely expect to want another in a few years. However because of difficult deliveries and the fact that I personally feel like I wouldn’t be able to divide my time equally with more than 3 kids, I think it’ll just be something I’ll have to talk myself out of.

    If you don’t think the feeling will pass and it’s safe for you to have more, then go for it :) I always said when I inevitably get baby fever again we’ll just get a puppy :rofl:
     
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  3. krissie328

    krissie328 Well-Known Member

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    I agree a lot with Sander. If you are still feeling the urge and are healthy then I say talk with your DH. It honestly doesn't seem like you feel done.

    For me, I knew even before I had my 2nd that she was my last. I occasionally like to think about what a 3rd would be like but it is fleeting and I don't have any regrets.
     
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  4. crazy4baby09

    crazy4baby09 Mother of 3

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    Thanks for the replies. I do think its something we will be discussing for a bit. Right now I feel content with the 3 I have. I'm not sure if hormones around that time of the month played a factor or not. After my first 2 by the time my kids were 1yo I was like let's ntnp, definately dont feel that right now (my 3rd just turned 1) I know if we did decide to have another I would want to wait a few years, but by then may feel too old. My husband told me that he doesn't think I will ever feel completely done, because I just love kiddos. I think I just struggle with this decision because we struggled with infertility for 6 yrs before we had our first. So now that my body is working its hard for me to say I'm definately done. Like its wrong somehow idk.
     

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