Unwanted visitors?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by booker1981, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im not sure it im just being a bit of a bitch but would really appreciate your views please?

    Im having a section 3 weeks today and my sister, dad and his partner are coming to visit (we live 3 hours away from them) when our baby will be just under 2 weeks old. They are only coming for the day but my sister wants to bring her boyfriend who ive never met before. I really dont want him to come and would rather i meet him first at a later date. Am i being silly and selfish or shall i just tell her i would rather he didnt come?
     
  2. crazyguider

    crazyguider Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    997
    Likes Received:
    0
    Is he driving her?
    I suppose it depends on how serious the relationship is
    she must feel it is to be bringing him to such an intimate family event

    I completely understand it's not ideal
    it may be worth having a chat with her
     
  3. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0




    No my dad will be driving them all. She has only been with him for about a month? I just feel like im not sure how im going to feel and i dont want to have to deal with meeting new people as well as having people round?
     
  4. sezrah

    sezrah Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2010
    Messages:
    652
    Likes Received:
    0
    If that was me, I'd personally feel weird about it too. I mean you'll be getting over major surgery and to be honest, for the boyfriend... it won't be about him it'll be about baby. I'm sure he would prefer to meet you properly when you can get to actually spend time with him..maybe that's what you could say?
     
  5. crazyguider

    crazyguider Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    997
    Likes Received:
    0
    That makes it awquard
    mind you when I met my husband after years of dating
    I knew even two weeks in that he would be one to stick around
    his grandad died a month after we got together and he did not tell me until after the funeral. To this day (10 yrs on) he always says he wished he had told me and taken me for support. U need to chat with your sister and explain that you will be feeling emotional tired drained etc and for her to really think whether she wants his first impression of you to be like that, but if she really wants him there then discuss it calmly and rationally
     
  6. storm4mozza

    storm4mozza Mom of 3 :)

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Messages:
    3,169
    Likes Received:
    1
    thats your choice, if you feel its right or wrong its your decision talk to her about it see if you can work something out x
     
  7. WeenieWoo

    WeenieWoo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    631
    Likes Received:
    0
    If you dont feel comfortabe babes - you need to tell her. I wouldnt want somebody around me who i didnt know, you'd probs feel awkward around him - and after having your section and having newborn, i hardly think thats fair, if you dont want it. Maybe ask your sister to not bring him this time, you will meet him once you have settled back at home and have settled your new baby in properly.
     
  8. minkymoo

    minkymoo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2010
    Messages:
    5,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it's very reasonable to ask your sister if he can visit the time after. You will be recovering and be very tired and none of us likes to meet knew people in those circumstances. I would just explain your feelings to your sister and if she doesn't respect your wishes then she's being a bit selfish when the day is about you and baby, not her and her boyfriend of a month.

    A friend of my OH's 'dropped by' unannounced at 9pm last night, which got my back up as I cannot bear unannounced guests, especially when I have no make up on, scabby dog walking clothes and haven't brushed my hair! He then let my dog into the street and promptly forgot about him. If I hadn't asked where the dog was he'd be halfway to London by now. I was in a foul mood until we went to bed after that! I don't think he will be 'dropping in' again (from fecking Newcastle I may add!!) any time soon.
     
  9. Alegria

    Alegria Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2010
    Messages:
    632
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it would be very strange if he came - does he even want to? It would be quite an intimidating time to meet the family for the first time! You don't sound selfish at all xx
     
  10. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2009
    Messages:
    13,416
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wouldn't like this either x
     
  11. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you everyone. Ive just sent my sister a message so hopefully she will understand. Thanks again for your views xx
     
  12. MissGx

    MissGx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2010
    Messages:
    1,049
    Likes Received:
    0
    Totally reasonable! I hope she understands where you are coming from! I keep trying to tell everyone I don't want visitors at the hospital or the day I come home and everyone seems so annoyed by it like I'm the biggest bitch in the world!
     
  13. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0


    I know what you mean. I seem to be doing quite a good job of getting people to come in phases but just didnt think my sister would say that she is bringing her new fella who ive never met. I just cant stand the thought of a house full of people, let alone having to entertain people who i dont know with me not knowing how im going to feel and i also dont want my 4 year old to be completely overwhelmed by it all.
     
  14. UkMum2b

    UkMum2b Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2010
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wouldn't be up for that either and I am sure your family will see and understand when you explain it to them too.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice