Update - bfn boots own brand?! Please please someone give me hope - late bfp
- Thread starter red_head
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You're in my prayers, I really hope things turn out ok
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First, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this I know you've been utterly terrified of something going off being wrong! I will say a prayer for you and the little one!
Second, I have actually witnessed this first hand, my DH cousin has a little boy that was born with this, they didn't find out until 16 weeks as this was when she got her first ultrasound, she was induced early at 34 weeks I believe, and the baby had surgery 4 hours after birth, he had 6 surgeries in his first year and has had a couple over the years, but he is and was ok the surgeries were daunting for mom and dad but he was a trooper and did really well and always had a smile! He's a healthy 6 year old now and doing great it was never touch and go he was always good, but before burg they were warned about so much. He had a severe case He was born with stomach intestines and one more organ I don't remember exactly but any way your baby can still be just fine, they're born little fighters, and there's still a good chance at your little bean growing into a beautiful newborn!
Second, I have actually witnessed this first hand, my DH cousin has a little boy that was born with this, they didn't find out until 16 weeks as this was when she got her first ultrasound, she was induced early at 34 weeks I believe, and the baby had surgery 4 hours after birth, he had 6 surgeries in his first year and has had a couple over the years, but he is and was ok the surgeries were daunting for mom and dad but he was a trooper and did really well and always had a smile! He's a healthy 6 year old now and doing great it was never touch and go he was always good, but before burg they were warned about so much. He had a severe case He was born with stomach intestines and one more organ I don't remember exactly but any way your baby can still be just fine, they're born little fighters, and there's still a good chance at your little bean growing into a beautiful newborn!
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Katie, I read sometimes the liver can be out too, but everything you just said is what I read. There are always ifs and buts with everything but the magic surgeons can work these days is amazing. I saw one born every minute once where a baby was born with intestines out (I can't remember if there was anything else out), it looked horrific but they operated and he was absolutely fine. You can't quite imagine someone so tiny being operated on and being ok, but they are, babies are a lot stronger than we think a lot of the time and pull through the most awful sounding situations.
Red, I can't imagine how frightening this is for you, but Katie is right, your LO has every chance of being ok, even if it is a severe case
Red, I can't imagine how frightening this is for you, but Katie is right, your LO has every chance of being ok, even if it is a severe case
red_head
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Thank you all for your support and prayers.
Katie that’s really helpful thank you. It’s terrifying to know that I won’t be able to hold him or feed him straight away, and that he’s going to have to have these operations but it does give me hope knowing that other babies have been okay in the long run. I just feel so guilty like it’s sometbing I’ve done. It’s ridiculous the factors for this is being young and first pregnancy! I’m not young and this is my fourth pregnancy although obviously haven’t got this far before! If there was one thing I thought we wouldn’t have to worry about! I just can’t believe how hard this journey had already been, and I’ve been worrying about miscarriage but I didn’t really consider that I would actually be able to do this to my baby, to put him through something like this. It’s so unfair, he’s so tiny and I don’t even know if he’s in pain. I’ve wsnted this for so long I never though this would happen when we finally had a sticky bean.
I have been reading that there can be chromosome issues that cause it - they couldn’t get the NT measurement due to how he was laying so I couldn’t have the bloods. I’m supposed to wait now and then have the combined blood test, but I don’t know whether to have the harmony one or what the difference is even between the two. I wish he had been able to speak to a doctor. This is just such a shock.
Katie that’s really helpful thank you. It’s terrifying to know that I won’t be able to hold him or feed him straight away, and that he’s going to have to have these operations but it does give me hope knowing that other babies have been okay in the long run. I just feel so guilty like it’s sometbing I’ve done. It’s ridiculous the factors for this is being young and first pregnancy! I’m not young and this is my fourth pregnancy although obviously haven’t got this far before! If there was one thing I thought we wouldn’t have to worry about! I just can’t believe how hard this journey had already been, and I’ve been worrying about miscarriage but I didn’t really consider that I would actually be able to do this to my baby, to put him through something like this. It’s so unfair, he’s so tiny and I don’t even know if he’s in pain. I’ve wsnted this for so long I never though this would happen when we finally had a sticky bean.
I have been reading that there can be chromosome issues that cause it - they couldn’t get the NT measurement due to how he was laying so I couldn’t have the bloods. I’m supposed to wait now and then have the combined blood test, but I don’t know whether to have the harmony one or what the difference is even between the two. I wish he had been able to speak to a doctor. This is just such a shock.
red_head
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I just spoke to my mum as I was going to see if she could come with us Monday as I think we may need someone there to help take everything in if we get upset. She was calling the baby ‘it’ now - she’s been calling him ‘he’ and ‘him’ before like me. It’s broken me. I feel like she’s trying to detach herself from him. My husband is disabled and she tried to talk me out of marrying him as she didn’t think I’d cope and didn’t want me to have to be a carer (even though he is perfectly capable with most things). She can be really heartless and thoughtless at times, and totally the opposite other times. I feel like she won’t love this baby now, and she isn’t even rooting for him to be okay now. It’s just making me feel worse as I was expecting her support and she didn’t even do it consciously. I was so shocked I couldn’t even react. I just feel so broken today I can’t stop crying.
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I don't know the difference between various blood tests you can have. Perhaps Google them to see? Getting ahead may be good, as you will be more informed instead of having to make snap decisions on the day.
I think the younger and first pregnancy applies more to one condition than the other. One is more likely (though both are rare) when younger and with first pregnancies and the other is more likely the older you are and more pregnancies you have had. But this is your first successful pregnancy, so I don't know where you would be on that front, whether this would be classed as a first pregnancy because it's the first successful one, I don't know how far you got with the others or if it makes a difference.
I am so sorry your mum was less than supportive. I guess it's a defence thing, she probably is detaching a little 'just in case'. I know that's awful and isn't what you need from her. People react differently to difficult situations and when it's someone so close to them, sometimes the worry is too much and they automatically distance themselves. My mum does this.
However, she also does similar to your mum too, like she said I shouldn't be with my husband because apparently I would walk all over him, she said she didn't think I should take on his daughter when we decided to have her live with us because her mother wasn't looking after her, she said the same with husband's son after his mother passed away and said maybe he should live with his grandparents instead! I can understand this and how it makes you feel. Our parents are meant to be supportive, whatever the situation.
Is there anyone else who can go with you next time? I think it's a good idea if there is, because it will probably be overwhelming and a lot of information to take in.
But you know what, I know we can't be there with you, but everyone here will be here to support you every step of the way, always
I think the younger and first pregnancy applies more to one condition than the other. One is more likely (though both are rare) when younger and with first pregnancies and the other is more likely the older you are and more pregnancies you have had. But this is your first successful pregnancy, so I don't know where you would be on that front, whether this would be classed as a first pregnancy because it's the first successful one, I don't know how far you got with the others or if it makes a difference.
I am so sorry your mum was less than supportive. I guess it's a defence thing, she probably is detaching a little 'just in case'. I know that's awful and isn't what you need from her. People react differently to difficult situations and when it's someone so close to them, sometimes the worry is too much and they automatically distance themselves. My mum does this.
However, she also does similar to your mum too, like she said I shouldn't be with my husband because apparently I would walk all over him, she said she didn't think I should take on his daughter when we decided to have her live with us because her mother wasn't looking after her, she said the same with husband's son after his mother passed away and said maybe he should live with his grandparents instead! I can understand this and how it makes you feel. Our parents are meant to be supportive, whatever the situation.
Is there anyone else who can go with you next time? I think it's a good idea if there is, because it will probably be overwhelming and a lot of information to take in.
But you know what, I know we can't be there with you, but everyone here will be here to support you every step of the way, always
red_head
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Ive started a journal as I need to vent so will be updating there from now on. Thank you all so much for all your support through this rollercoaster - here’s the link if anyone wants to keep in touch -
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...617-red-s-pregnancy-journal.html#post38861793
Xx
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...617-red-s-pregnancy-journal.html#post38861793
Xx
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Will follow your journal 
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