Upset and Frustrated

[persephone13]

I don't really know how I'm feeling right now. I'm sad, I'm stressed, I just feel like not going to work and staying in bed and crying all day. Hubby and I got into a big fight last night. We were both crying at the end of it and I ended up falling asleep alone in our bed while he went downstairs for a bit. I know it's only cycle #2 and I kind of got a bit obsessive about charting/temping/when to BD/etc. and basically DH is freaking out about it. He keeps saying he wants to have a baby but he needs me to dial it back and help him get from A to B. But he knows that I want a baby ASAP.

And I know I probably sound like a crazy person because I want to help him and I want to make him comfortable with everything but it's not like things are going to be easy for us. Having PCOS makes things more difficult and I keep trying to explain it to him and he says that he understands where I'm coming from but I just feel so frustrated.

This probably makes no sense I just had to get it out because I feel like every other minute I'm going to start crying. So I guess I'll be hanging out in the NTNP forum for the next little while...

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Big persephone . Hmm, maybe keep charting/temping and everything if it isn't too stressful for you but don't let hubby know about the more, erh, techie side and come and get out the TTC crazies here with us . TTC will drive you nuts man, been there and it sucks . I'd never TTC'd before my first m/c (my boys and the first pregnancy I m/c'd were all conceived on the first "try"). After not getting pg month after month then finally conceiving again, and promptly losing it, I lost it, hit a wall girl. I had to step back and get myself together. We WTT'd for a couple of cycles and this is the first cycle I tentatively eased back into NTNP. TTC just sucks and I'm not touching it with a 10ft pole man .

Maybe NTNP for a cycle to step back a minute would be a good idea then w/o DH knowing about the planning on your side, you guys can have a litle more fun with it? I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and frustrated doll. Been there too .

I hope this isn't too disjointed, I'm doing about 12 things at once .

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Persephone sorry your are having a tough time. Ttc is hard and stressful enough but add in relationship crap and it can make you insane. When we were ttc dd I was neurotic about it all which only put stress on dh and myself. After 2 losses, over a yr of ttc and lord knows how many fights I realized that it was going to happen when it was meant to. I stopped temping, started eating clean and exercising and not stressing about when to bd and we got pg. I hated when ppl would say it will haopen when you relax but it did.
I hope you can find some inner peace for yourself and this journey because after the journey is over and you are holding that little bundle it will all seem like a distant blur. *hugs*

 

[persephone13]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I'm really not sure what I am going to do. In one sense I want to keep charting to jst track my cycle but I'm worried it will make me crazy because if I know I'm OVing but DH doesn't want to BD, I will be upset.

So maybe I should just throw it all in a box and not think about it. And just enjoyed ourselves because we have never not used birth control so this is all new to us and we should just enjoy ourselves. And like you said, if it happens it happens.

Sigh.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I'm not a good one to just sit back and relax even though I know I should. I am temping to make sure im o'ing as im still bf dd. I am peeing on opks and using zestica cuz the old fashioned way took to long with dd. I am upfront with dh and said this is what we r going to do (smep) so we r doing it eo day until +opk and then its 3 days in a row...he is just happy to get some. But I remember last yr we always seemed to fight around o time and missed many windows which caused many more arguments.
He wants this as much as I do so he plays along with my controlling it. We also had 2 losses so he knows its not as simple dtd and a baby pops out 9 months later.
Try to have fun while doing it and don't expect it to happen right away (easier said than dine I know).

 

[schmetterling]

*Hugs* I'm so sorry you are upset and stressed. I do understand how you feel. My hubby and I had a similar situation last night. He said he didn't want to know when I was ovulating but it was impossible to keep from him and I really wanted to bd in the morning before work which stressed him out because he was already late. Then that night I wanted to as well (I had gotten a pos opk that morning) and he wasn't in the mood. I freaked out because I was worried we hadn't bd enough and he said that's exactly why he didn't want to know when I was ovulating. He didn't want the stress. I now completely understand where he's coming from and I hate the stress too but I'm still breastfeeding and we want our children somewhat close in age so I feel a lot of pressure to do everything in my power to make it happen because I know chances are stacked against us.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just really wanted you to know you are not alone and it's ok to have these feelings. This ttc business is tough. I'm going to try to relax a little (my hubby wanted to ntnp anyway, so maybe that's what we'll do). Best of luck to you!!