Upset Rant about Unfaithful Friends

[CharmingBeake]

So, since I told her the news, my best friend who has been with me since Kindergarten has stopped talking to me. I don't know what to think. We'd been best friends for so long, but the moment she found out I was pregnant, its like that was it. IF she does say anything to me these days its some snarky, rude comment that is completely unlike the friend I remember. I'm upset and I don't know what to do, since she won't talk civilly with me anymore. Should I just give up on the illusion that we could someday be friends again? I guess I just wish I knew the reason she started acting like this. Could she be jealous, even though that's very unlike her? I just don't know what to think and I feel like she's abandoned me at this very important and exciting time of my life...

 

[NewMama2012]

Wow, I'm so sorry you are going through this! I can't believe she would abandon you at this time in your life! Maybe just give her a few days to chill out and try to come back to her. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with your pregnancy at all and its something else.

Give her some time and I'm sure she'll come around. AND when she does come around, don't forget to tell her how her absence made you feel.

 

[willowtree]

Hello ...she could be a bit jealous but maybe its because she thinks shes going to lose you has a best friend,either way theres no need for her to be rude with you,maybe shes shocked i really dont know,but if she carries on then just leave her to it as you dont need the stress ....congrats too

 

[CharmingBeake]

Thank you. I'm just feeling pretty hopeless about the whole thing because I told her almost a month ago when I found out, and her attitude hasn't changed a bit. *sigh* I am still praying that she'll come around. I was planning to make her my child's Godmother, but if she is treating me this way, I feel like she doesn't want to have anything to do with my baby either, and that's really bothering me as well. I guess I'll give her some more time and see...

 

[sunbaby777]

That happened to me too. She didn't make rude comments; she just didn't talk to me much anymore, especially about the baby. That was with the first pregnancy (which I lost), and she has yet to acknowledge this pregnancy. I think there is an element of jealousy to it. You don't need fair weather friends. You will find some new ones (with kids).

 

[CharmingBeake]

I do have some great friends who are sticking with me through everything and are really happy for me...some of them I didn't even expect would be so excited. It was just a huge disappointment that the one who'd been with me the longest would be the one to leave me just like that.

Thanks for the comments though, ladies. They really do help.

 

[luckybreak]

Send her an email, sometimes when we are behind a computer we are more brave to say things...maybe she will explain why she is acting this way. Good luck

 

[jenniferttc1]

Is your friend married or in a commited relationship? Maybe secretly trying for a baby, and shes upset you are pregnant? Or maybe she's sad cause your life is changing, and it won't ever really be the same between ya'll.
She'll come around

 

[CharmingBeake]

I think I'll have to give that a try. The worst that could happen is that she'll continue not talking to me. Thanks!

 

[CharmingBeake]

Is your friend married or in a commited relationship? Maybe secretly trying for a baby, and shes upset you are pregnant? Or maybe she's sad cause your life is changing, and it won't ever really be the same between ya'll.
She'll come around

No, she is not in any relationships, and to my knowledge not even trying for one let alone a baby. She is quite content to continue living off of her parents and doing as she pleases. Perhaps she's jealous that I have found a loving husband and now we're growing our family? I just don't know what to think, she's been so unpredictable lately.

 

[jenniferttc1]

Is your friend married or in a commited relationship? Maybe secretly trying for a baby, and shes upset you are pregnant? Or maybe she's sad cause your life is changing, and it won't ever really be the same between ya'll.
She'll come around

No, she is not in any relationships, and to my knowledge not even trying for one let alone a baby. She is quite content to continue living off of her parents and doing as she pleases. Perhaps she's jealous that I have found a loving husband and now we're growing our family? I just don't know what to think, she's been so unpredictable lately.

Okay, then she's not jealous cause of TTC. I think she just feels your life is moving on, and shes not the most important person in it anymore. Once you have a husband/ baby you are not able to do as you please and go out with her all the time. Its probably just hard for her to adjust to, but such a shame she's taking it so poorly. I Hope she comes around for you.

 

[smileygurl85]

It frustrates me when people can't be happy for their friends!

I have a very close friend but our lifestyles are VERY different. She got married a few months after me and had 2 children straight away. She lives in a very small apt in a very crowded neighborhood and won't be leaving it any time soon even though it drives her crazy. Ever since she told me she was expecting her 1st she has been needling me to get pregnant (but DH and I were waiting for personal reasons.) And she's always saying obnoxious things like, "you can't understand cause you don't have kids."

Finally after being married for 3.5 years I told her I was expecting. It also happened to be that at the very same time DH and I found a great property to invest in and we're going to be building our 'dream home' from the ground up. So it's really busy and really crazy around here.

I shared all of the good news with my friend and she kind of got jealous and brushed off the whole house thing and regarding the pregnancy she basically made me feel like "oh good - you're finally catching up to me." But we also don't talk as much as we used to and when we do she just says things like, "you think it's hard being pregnant - wait til you actually have the kid and proceeds to complain about how her kids are driving her crazy."

*sigh*

 

[luckybreak]

It frustrates me when people can't be happy for their friends!

I have a very close friend but our lifestyles are VERY different. She got married a few months after me and had 2 children straight away. She lives in a very small apt in a very crowded neighborhood and won't be leaving it any time soon even though it drives her crazy. Ever since she told me she was expecting her 1st she has been needling me to get pregnant (but DH and I were waiting for personal reasons.) And she's always saying obnoxious things like, "you can't understand cause you don't have kids."

Finally after being married for 3.5 years I told her I was expecting. It also happened to be that at the very same time DH and I found a great property to invest in and we're going to be building our 'dream home' from the ground up. So it's really busy and really crazy around here.

I shared all of the good news with my friend and she kind of got jealous and brushed off the whole house thing and regarding the pregnancy she basically made me feel like "oh good - you're finally catching up to me." But we also don't talk as much as we used to and when we do she just says things like, "you think it's hard being pregnant - wait til you actually have the kid and proceeds to complain about how her kids are driving her crazy."

*sigh*

lol you got the one upper friend...she always has to one up you...those are fun~

 

[CharmingBeake]

I've heard so many stories about good friends suddenly doing things like that. Its so upsetting, but somehow I never thought it would happen to me.

Well, here's hoping things will turn out for the best for both of us and our somewhat less than supportive friends.

 

[Ozziemum]

Hay - i agree with the other ladies that perhaps she feels like your life is going to be so different from hers that you won't have much in common anymore (not that that makes the way she is treating you right).

I kinda went through the same thing with my friend, we both have kids, her youngest two are almost excatly the same age as my two kids and have been friends since they were born, but she is single and starting to enjoy a little freedom as the kids get older, working again and going out, and now that i am pregnant again i hardly hear from her, when i do she asks about the baby and says how exciting it is but i know really she thinks i'm boring now because i can't go out with her and have glasses of wine etc so she has started spendig most of her time with another girl in the same situ as her.

I would ask your friend outright, either to her face or via e-mail why she is being mean to you and what you have done to upset her, if she hasn't even got the decency to tell you whats wrong she probably isn't worth xxxxx

 

[freddie]

You just need to sit down and talk to her. If you guys have been friends for so long there has to be a reason why she is suddenly giving you the cold shoulder. Tell her how you feel but I'd say be careful to not be attacking - You never know, it may be nothing do with your pregnancy, she could be going through something herself? Either way you two need to talk it out as hopefully it is nothing permanent and is just a blip in a long friendship