Urologist appointment

[Deb111]

Hi Dilly

I've have heard from other women on here who are at the same clinic as me and hubby that there isn't really a waiting list at our clinic - we are obviously very lucky.

However, we do have to wait 3 - 4 months for hubby's SSR and pay for it, although the rest of the first ICSI treatment is covered for us on the NHS. Think his op is about £900.

I've added you both a ICSI buddies girls

 

[Springflower]

Hey ladies

I’m feeling a little better today, am having random tears at work, but I’m ok. I think I’m still in shock at the moment and have 100’s of things running through my mind. You are right it is a grieving process. I’m a bit all over the place at the moment. Part of me thinks perhaps we shouldn’t have a baby and its not meant to be, the other part wants so desperately to have a child. I’m also freaking out about the cost. We had a look at a clinic and its soooo expensive!! If we do decide to do it we wont have any savings left and there’s no guarantee it will work. I started to think about egg sharing yesterday but now I’m not so sure. There is so much to consider!

We will go on our local NHS waiting list but it's between a 2 and 3 yr wait, so really the only option for us is to go private.

OH hasn’t said much yet, he is very private and has barely spoken to me since he got the news. I know he’s processing it all at the mo, and will start talking when he’s ready. It’s so hard cos I can see how heartbroken he is, I just want to hug him and never let go.

I will be telling my close friends and family, then I know that there will be no awkward questions, where I might burst into tears. Think its easier that way.

I know I’ve been very lucky in life, I have a lovely OH, lovely home, an ok job (I’d rather not have to work – but hey!) and two lovely cuddly fur babies, so I think you are right Dilly. We can’t have everything go our way in life.

Thank you both for your messages, your kind words and knowing others are going through the same things makes it easier. Ladies we WILL get there in the end!

PS – Have no idea how to do signatures – will puzzle this out over the weekend !

 

[Deb111]

Hi hun

Glad you're feeling a bit better today and I see from other posts that you're getting proactive and looking for private clinics - ot helps to feel you're taking some control back

Hope hubby manages to get his head round things so that you are able to support each other - my hubby was dealing with it all really well, but seems very down and deflated since our last appt so we'll see xx

 

[Springflower]

Hey Deb

OH and I had a good chat last night, he wants to proceed with ICSI asap. I'm still thinking things through but agree that we should go down this path. I've booked an inital consultation for 1st June, so we shall see what happens then and learn next steps then. We are going to try the London Women's Clinic.

You are right I feel much better because I've "done" something and am more in control.

I think it's so hard for the men, isn't it. It think its easier for women to come to terms with it, but for men I guess it makes them question their masculinity. I hope your OH starts to feel more postive soon.

Teaching kiddies sounds wonderful, much nicer then my job! Although it must be hard for you somethimes if you are having a bad day?

What are you upto at the weekend? We will definately be having a BBQ, can't wait to get outside and enjoy the weather!

Hope you are doing ok.
xxx

 

[Deb111]

Hi girls

Just thought I'd drop in and see how you're doing? Hope you've been enjoying the good weather.

Went for my repeat blood tests for LH, FSH and something else today so should soon find out before too long if my ovarian reserves are low or if it was just a fluke result

xx

 

[Springflower]

Hey Deb

Ohhh that’s good so hopefully you will get your results within the next week. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.

I phoned up the hospital today to see if there had been any FS cancellations, luckily there was one for tomorrow! Am so pleased. Hopefully then we can start the process of getting on the NHS waiting list.

It’s such a long road but we’ll get there in the end!

xxx

 

[DillyC]

Hey Spring Flower....

We also have our FS appt tomorrow so will be thinking of you xxx

Hey Debs...Hope the results are all good ... when do you find out??

 

[Deb111]

Hey Deb

Ohhh that’s good so hopefully you will get your results within the next week. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.

I phoned up the hospital today to see if there had been any FS cancellations, luckily there was one for tomorrow! Am so pleased. Hopefully then we can start the process of getting on the NHS waiting list.

It’s such a long road but we’ll get there in the end!

xxx

Hey hun

So pleased you got a cancellation! Hope your appt goes well - will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes xx

ooohh and yay for working out your siggy

 

[Deb111]

Hey Spring Flower....

We also have our FS appt tomorrow so will be thinking of you xxx

Hey Debs...Hope the results are all good ... when do you find out??

Cool - 2 appts tomorrow - I will def be checking up on you girls tomorrow evening

She said to phone Thursday but that seems a bit quick for hormone results - last time I was told a week so who knows?!

Why is it any phlebologist who is so used to doing blood tests just sticks the needle in and ALWAYS leaves a HUGE bruise and yet the nurses or drs who do them a lot less seem to be more careful and not leave a mark?! Last time I had a purple bruise almost the size of the palm of my hand from the phlebologist and yet the dr did it yesterday ... not a mark ... good job in this hot weather - can't wear long sleeves and I think it would scare the kids

 

[Springflower]

Hello Ladies

Well I'm a bit peed off tbh. Had the FS appointment this morning, they've confirmed that we will now go on the NHS waiting list. It's about 18 months. That's fine, it's actually better than I expected.

The Dr then said we could have it at cost at the Bridge. I told her we had choosen LWC and she got really funny with me. She said if I wanted to sit in a nice waiting room and read "Hello" then it was probably for me (!!) But if I wanted to "muck" in with everyone else I should go to Bridge. She said places like LWC have lots of hidden costs and that they'd had a women in this morning who'd paid 9k for one cycle and hadn't fallen pregnant and had no money left.

I'm now really worried in case the cost is going to get out of hand, we're lucky and have savings that we are going to use but obviously we only have so much. The 1st appointment is on Tuesday and we plan to quiz them on cost as much as possible. I'm also not sure if the Dr just wanted our business.

Ahhhh am now having a wobble at it all, and I was feeling so excited about it!


I got very excited with the whole siggy thing on Sunday, had to show my OH my effort

Dilly - How'd you get on today? Hoope it went better than mine!

Deb - Owww I hate blood tests, did you know if you rink lots of water beforehand it's supposed to be less painful. Thats what one of the nurses told me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the results are good!

 

[Deb111]

Hiya hun

I'm so sorry that you didn't have a great appt - it's so awful when you get your hopes up and then come away feeling so low and frustrated.

I'm a bit confused as to how the system works - how come you saw someone at The bridge if you're having treatment somewhere else?

If you do end up going back to the same clinic at all, I would make sure you request to see someone different and tell them why. (I'm still trying to compose my lengthy complaint letter!) Her attitude stinks. You have the right to choose whichever clinic you want - without the sarcasm!

As for my blood tests, I'm hoping to have some news tomorrow just hoping it's good news. Having blood tests done doesn't bother me - I'm fine with needles - it's just the bruise some of them leave afterwards!

Keep your chin up hun
Deb xx

 

[Springflower]

Sorry Deb, I can see how reading what I had written, if you aren't me it wouldn't make any sense! I was a bit het up when I wrote that.

Basically we've decided to go private but keep the NHS bubbling along in the background. The NHS Dr said we could have the treatment "at cost price" which is kind of the middle ground between NHS and private. At cost would mean having it the the Bridge clinic which seems to be where everyone in Surrey and London goes, if they are on the NHS. The bridge does NHS, cost and private. But OH and I had got ahead of ourselves and chose another private clinic. The Dr at my hospital didnt appear to like that choice though. I was really surprised at what she said, she's the head of department!

Hope I've explained it....Although reading it back I'm not sure....

Thats great if you find out tomorrow, be sure to tell us! I'm sending good result vibes your way

xxx

 

[DillyC]

Hmmmmmm not sure why they are being funny with you about appt at LWC, I agree, get the costs up front at your appt next week, they are pretty open about prices and maximum amount. Bridge is an excellent clinic too, but don't feel pressured by someone. At least you have back up plan for NHS.

You have to go with your gut feeling a bit on this one

Well as expected at our appt, just took a full history and told us ICSI is our only option as 2nd SA was worse than 1st and couldn't even give a count as so low. 12month waiting list,
Poor OH feels guilty and keeps apologising...I love him so much and feel so bad for him, Dr put our probs down to Undecended testicle/ inguinal hernia repair and varicocele, but he had blood test for chromosome testing today, just to make sure.


FX your results come back nice and low Debs

Don't be disheartened Springflower...you will make the right decision

 

[Springflower]

Hello Ladies

Owww Dilly I'm so sorry the sperm hasn't improved. It's really gutting when our OH's try and still there's no improvement. Your poor OH. 12 months isn't too bad though is it? I've been told that often they say the waiting lists are longer then they actually are. Are you going to stick with the NHS or consider going private?

I put a post on fertility friends about LWC and the cost etc. I've had a couple of responses which have made me feel much better. Obviously we'll make our final decision after the appointment but I'm back to feeling positive. It's such a massive rollercoster isn't it?

Deb - Fingers are still crossed for your results!

 

[Deb111]

Hi girls

Glad to see you're feeling more positive today Springflower

As for my results - I phoned at 10.30 and she said the post hadn't been opened yet so I said I'd phone back at 12. She said there was no point as they only had 2 locums in this morning and locums don't go through test results and then they shut Thursday afternoons ... so I have to phone tomorrow - that's if they're even back

xx

 

[Springflower]

GRRRRR!!!!!!! That's so frustrating!! Keep your chin up chick!

 

[DillyC]

Hey S.... i thought i had already posted a reply ...clearly didn't go through!!!

1 Year would be fine, I am just concious of my age...37 in July so aware my FSH could start creeping up in the next year!! So def checking out our options and poss going to go for ICSI in South Africa as thats where OH is from and £2,500 inc drugs, so add on flights and still cheaper than here and get a bit of a break out of it too!

Will take some time to think about options...

Am so glad you are feeling more positive about private, they also tried to talk us into self funded at Queen Marys....errrr I don't think so....would never choose QMs clinic if I had a choice!

Exciting appt next week for you...can't wait to hear all about it x

D...Can't believe it, you gotta wonder why they ask you to call them and then act like that...hmmmmm hope you find out tomorrow xx Apologies...i work for the NHS and know how rubbish it can be x

 

[Deb111]

To be honest, I wasn't really expecting them to be that soon so I wasn't too bothered

Anyway, the results are back today

FSH - 6
LH - 3.6
Oestradiol - 196

I'm told by my GP that they are all within normal limits for a pre menopausal woman so I guess that's good. However, I don't know exactly what the 'high' FSH level was last time as results went straight to the clinic and I forgot to ask

Anyway, having looked over the ifno the GP has printed off for me there's a couple of things I'm curious about (and an NHS nurse may be able to help )

Firstly, I was on CD4 (was told to have them done CD2,3 or 4 - CD2 was Saturday and CD3 Sunday) but by CD4 the bleeding had pretty much stopped ... does that matter?

Secondly, I have a note of the limits for follicular stage, ovulatory stage and leutal stage but not sure which one CD4 comes under ... ovulatory and leutal?

Hope you have both had a good day

I've just finished school for 2 weeks! (we get an extra week at whitsun where I work )

Deb xx

 

[Springflower]

Hello Ladies

Hope you are both enjoying the bank holiday weekend!

Deb so glad you got your results and they are in normal range, that's great news! I'm afraid I don't really know anything about these tests so can't other any advice. I don't remember having mine done, although you have so many blood tests I stopped asking what they are for! I'm sure Dilly can help though!

Am VERY jealous you get two weeks off! They will be a lovely break. Are you going away at all or just chilling at home?

Dilly I love the South Africa option! I've heard once you have the eggs put back in most women then take the two weeks off work, to escape any stress that might be there. So chilling there after would be great for you! Sounds like an interesting option.

Apparently the Dr's at NHS hospitals like you to go to their ones because then the money that you pay is going back into the hospital. They get frustrated when people go for all tests etc which are expensive then take those results and go elsewhere. Understandable but still it's our choice. I haven't heard of QM's, I take it it's not great there. You can also slef fund at The Bridge though? I have a friend whose doing that at the moment and she's had a postive experience so far. If LWC isn't right for us we may think about there.

So many decisions aren't there! I can't wait until Tuesday for our appointment. I keep telling myslef that I've got to listen to what they are telling me. With each appointment I'm getting much better at that, but it's difficult I find myself nodding and then 10 minutes later not having a clue about what we had spoken about!

Can I just brag about OH, he hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since our urologist appointment. We went out on Friday night with his mates and he just had lemonade bless him! He is determined to improve his swimmers for ICSI. I hope to god there is an improvement next time he tests, even if its really small. I want so much for him to feel better.

Love to you both.

xxx

 

[Deb111]

Hi Springflower (you must tell us your name by the way )

That's great news about hubby - you must be really pleased that he's making such an effort

As for my 2 week holiday - we're going down to Cornwall with our westie for a week next Saturday. We've booked a cottage and I'm trying to convince myself (as is everyone else!) that I WILL enjoy it. I'm sure the break will do us good and it's not fair of me to stop hubby having a break, but I have to admit I hate going away from home and don't enjoy holidays. Crazy, I know, but I would NEVER choose to go on holiday if it was down to me I guess I just like my own things around me, familiar surroundings and my own bed!!

I have always felt very insecure away from home and miss my 2 little pussy cats terribly - last time we went away, one did a disappearing act for 10 days so I'm praying that doesn't happen again.

As for this week ... I have to pack, buy a few last minute bits and pieces, get my end of year reports done for school (as at least make a good start on them), fill in loads of assessment records, tutor for 3 hours and file a load of paperwork for our rentals business. I do sometimes wonder how I have time to hold down a full time job!

Any plans for the bank holiday? Hoping your appt on Tuesday goes well

Big hugs
Deb