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Lonely mama's with bubs on board

JJordaan

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I was asked how i was today by a family member who lives in another country. To which i said i find pregnancy hard and mostly lonely. I was told its my hormones talking?! I wish it was only that. Can i say hubby works alot and im home alone all the time. He is struggling to connect to our bub as we have been through so much with our losses. We moved away from family to be close to hubbies work and we have not made friends where we live. Generally people here keep to themselves and there really arent any support classes even. Its nothing like other countries where there is such a sense of community. Most ppl have families and do their thing. I lost my mum to cancer and gran to emphysema within 2013. They were my life.

This pregnancy is our miracle baby after 12 years and 10 losses. Anxiety of preg after loss is a whole other kettle of fish! U hold your breath waiting for the next milestone to come and bub is still in your belly. I just feel hurt that ppl think im being hormonal or irrational if i say pregnancy is tough..i feel lonely or that i get no support even from family an hour away telephonic or otherwise. I feel as if i should grin and act like nothing is wrong if im asked but why should i. I should be able to express myself. Feeling heartsore.

Ps. You girls are my online support. Without you all there is nobody. So from the bottom of my heart and toes, thanks for being there.
 
I'm so sorry that you are feeling lonely. I'm alone too, my family lives back in my home country and my husband has very little family here. I am sorry to hear that you have lost your mother and grandmother and for your previous losses :(

When the baby is here you could try joining mothers groups. I have met some really fantastic women through the groups and it has made being a stay at home mother much more fun to have some friends! It's also helpful to get outside as much as possible to enjoy some fresh air. Even just walking around the neighbourhood or downtown for half an hour can help take your mind off being lonely. I hope this helps <3
 
I'm so sorry that you are feeling lonely. I'm alone too, my family lives back in my home country and my husband has very little family here. I am sorry to hear that you have lost your mother and grandmother and for your previous losses :(

When the baby is here you could try joining mothers groups. I have met some really fantastic women through the groups and it has made being a stay at home mother much more fun to have some friends! It's also helpful to get outside as much as possible to enjoy some fresh air. Even just walking around the neighbourhood or downtown for half an hour can help take your mind off being lonely. I hope this helps <3
Thanks so much hun. Glad to know im not alone. At least once bub comes ill have my little best friend then too. Mum n babe groups is a very good idea, thank u. :hugs:
 
Big hugs jj any time u fancy a chat send a message even a private inbox u can do on here xx
 
I’m here too!

I do have some relatives where I live, but I feel mostly on my own with no nearby friends with children, and my parents and brothers are over 2000 miles away. My ob/gyn office has a sign that no children are allowed at appointments, and I’m like “where the heck am I going to leave the baby?!”
 
I’m here too!

I do have some relatives where I live, but I feel mostly on my own with no nearby friends with children, and my parents and brothers are over 2000 miles away. My ob/gyn office has a sign that no children are allowed at appointments, and I’m like “where the heck am I going to leave the baby?!”

Iv seen signs like that too at some docs. Truly mad. Well tough tooties for them. They dont understand dynamics of our lives! :hugs:

Thanks Chez. :hugs:
 
I’m here too!

I do have some relatives where I live, but I feel mostly on my own with no nearby friends with children, and my parents and brothers are over 2000 miles away. My ob/gyn office has a sign that no children are allowed at appointments, and I’m like “where the heck am I going to leave the baby?!”
That is the most terrible rule I have ever heard of for an OB office.
 
That is the most terrible rule I have ever heard of for an OB office.

So stupid i agree! Rolling eyes here...

21 week anatomy scan tomorrow! Nervous and soooo relieved its finally here. Its been 5 weeks since i saw her. Anxiety levels are through the roof from worry.
 
I understand how you feel as well.. My DH and I were going to separate right before I found out I was pregnant. He has no interest in the baby, denies paternity and insults me constantly since I'm showing.. My mother died last year to cancer as well and both grandmothers have been gone for years.. My dad and stepmom live 4 hours away and I have maybe 3 close friends here and they have families of their own. It's rough. Try to hang in there.. I hope all is well with you and your baby!
 
I understand how you feel as well.. My DH and I were going to separate right before I found out I was pregnant. He has no interest in the baby, denies paternity and insults me constantly since I'm showing.. My mother died last year to cancer as well and both grandmothers have been gone for years.. My dad and stepmom live 4 hours away and I have maybe 3 close friends here and they have families of their own. It's rough. Try to hang in there.. I hope all is well with you and your baby!

Ah sweets. Im so sorry you are going through this all alone and that you lost your mum. Ugh its so hard there are no words! Know this though..your little bumblebee is going to be your best friend and company for quite some time. Our times of being lonely are almost over. Amidst the lack of sleep and diapers lol!
If the dad of bub doesnt want to be involved then let him buzz off. But at the same time it must be incredibly hard for you. So sorry you are going through this ontop of all else!! Im here whenever u need a chinwag HUGS
 
Good luck with the scan, I'm sure it will go great!

I had my 24 week scan on Monday, she's now 51st percentile and weighs 1 pound, 6 ounces. She just kicks all the time.

I asked the nurse about the no kids rule, and she clarified that it is about school age kids not about babies. That's a relief!
 
Good luck with the scan, I'm sure it will go great!

I had my 24 week scan on Monday, she's now 51st percentile and weighs 1 pound, 6 ounces. She just kicks all the time.

I asked the nurse about the no kids rule, and she clarified that it is about school age kids not about babies. That's a relief!
Ahh now that makes more sense about kid rule. They are little germ monsters lol!
Awww so glad all is well with ur bub and shes a busy bee. Mine too! It must be the hyperactive conception months lol. Gosh mine better behave for this scan.she's like a little monkey usually. My gyni laughs at her.
 
Virtual and Spiritual for you!!! I hope things brighten up for you. This forum is very supportive do dont ever feel like you can't vent or do not have women who can't relate because we can.

Stay encouraged Mama!
 
Virtual and Spiritual for you!!! I hope things brighten up for you. This forum is very supportive do dont ever feel like you can't vent or do not have women who can't relate because we can.

Stay encouraged Mama!

Ahh you are so lovely. Thank u. Who would have thought that most of us would be virtual support systems for other mamas halfway across the world. Thank goodness for technology! Hugs!
 
How exciting to get to see baby tomorrow! Those are some of the best days of pregnancy.
And for what it's worth my dad is a man who never gets excited about new babys. Not with me or my brother, or my two kids. Some men arnt in love like we are as mommies. Your husband will come around.
*Hugs* good luck tomorrow!
 
Anatomy scan went very well. Little minx was lying face down..hands on face and legs crossed. On a hawaain holiday i think lol! Everything where it should be and weighing in on q at 426g. Specialist was very happy with her. I cannot quite explain the relief i felt seeing her move on screen. Its been 5 weeks since last scan and anxiety has been high. Ill attach a pic. Hubby was so quiet during scan..i think the poor dude is in shock this is all happening. They handle previous losses so much more different than us i guess..but hes happy he saw our princess. Leaning towards the name Chloe! Think its set.

1539338216039_Image.jpg Image.jpg 1539338221647_Image.jpg 1539338228250_Image.jpg
 

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