Vent time: Announce my pregnancy for me please!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Akinesia, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Akinesia

    Akinesia Well-Known Member

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    I have to write a little (okay long) rant about a woman I think of as The Hyena. At the very least, it may help you feel better about all of the rude dimwits you have to endure for your own pregnancies.

    Now I'm a fairly private person, so even at 20 weeks I still haven't announced my bundle of joy to the majority of my absolute furthest acquaintances. It's just not something I want to do... these people don't mean all that much to me, many of them are negative and gossipy, so I didn't want to potentially subject myself to any annoying/personal comments or questions. It would also be very unpleasant to have to share a miscarriage with these people should the worst happen. I see this as being my right to share or not to share, as it's happening in my body. I'm sure most people would agree. My bump isn't giving me away yet, so I am able to do this.

    Well, enter The Hyena. Hyena also happens to be pregnant, although not as far along as I. Hyena is Hyena because of the high-pitched squeal she emits every time she laughs. It's enough to make a girl claw her palms in a desperate attempt at distracting from bleeding ears. Often I just leave the room when she enters it's that bad. There is no filter on this thing either. Very unpleasant, childish behaviour. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.

    So Hyena unfortunately caught wind of my pregnancy through someone I felt more comfortable sharing with. This was certainly not part of the plan. This person admitted the flub and apologized profusely, but it was too late. Despite this person telling Hyena not to tell anyone because not everyone knows yet, the damage was done. Without approaching me, without congratulations, without having the decency to even confirm with me that I am indeed pregnant, Hyena proceeds to hurriedly blab about the inner workings of my uterus to my other distant strained acquaintances, and let the word out for all who barely know me to hear. Literally within hours, everyone who has ever met me in life knows I will be having a son, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, they all *care deeply* that I will be having a son.

    The next time I see these people, they run up to me with an almost offended tone in their "congratulations!", asking me when I was going to finally tell them. What is wrong? Why haven't I shared? Everyone wants to know these things! Hyena was comfortable telling others the moment her egg was fertilized, therefore surely I should be as well? Thank goodness Hyena found out when she did so that she was able to save the day and blab this essential info.

    Needless to say, I was a little miffed by all this. I went along with the comments, brushing things off, deflecting here and there, then shuffling away at the earliest convenience. The whole time I'm wondering to myself why The Hyena would do this. She is pregnant herself, surely she should understand the concept of personal boundaries during pregnancy... that it's the pregnant woman's place to announce a pregnancy to others and not some effective stranger's. Hyena and I do not speak much whatsoever. We are aware of each other's existence, and that's about as close as I allow things to progress. For clear reasons.

    The next time I bump into Hyena, I mention to her this concern, and let her know I felt it was inappropriate for her to take it upon herself to announce my pregnancy for me. What am I talking about? she asks, trying to deny the behaviour. I let her know they told me it was her who blabbed. Oh... well, you ought to be happy about this! she says to me with a furrowed brow, insinuating that I mustn't be pleased with the fact that I am having a baby if I have a problem with her spilling the news without my consent.

    It was at this point I was having trouble with my right hand... it wanted to reach over and plant a smack over her face so badly that I was worried I would be arrested that night for assault. It's been a while since this happened and I am still speechless over that comment. I mean, a fellow pregnant woman just accused me of being unhappily pregnant because I didn't appreciate her telling the world my news before I wanted it shared. If she wasn't and never had been pregnant, I wouldn't really be taken too aback by this because it could be chalked up to pure ignorance about the whole pregnancy process. But no, she's very aware of what she did, and what the words coming out of her mouth mean to someone who is carrying a child. She has given birth to several.

    Incidentally, later that evening she was told off repeatedly by someone for a completely unrelated incident. This made me smile. I guess badly upsetting people is routine for Hyena.

    If I could avoid her 100% believe me I would. But to make my living she must be present in a small part of my life. And really, people like this are everywhere. Wherever we go, there will always be obnoxious, self absorbed Hyenas who have nothing better to do with their time (even despite having a pregnancy of their own!) than to talk about others around them in inappropriate ways.

    I just had to get this off my chest. Yes I already vented to the lovely OH, but he needs a break from my hormones. Thanks for listening, and please share your stories about the rude people you endure as well so I know I'm not alone :)
     
  2. naitken

    naitken Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like someone everyone wants to avoid. Good for you for not hitting her, I might have wanted to....
     
  3. MissJess0707

    MissJess0707 Expecting baby number 1

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    I had something similar happen. I don't understand what drives people to think they're entitled to any information about other people. I work in a shopping mall, and when word started to spread I had people I have only met once or twice asking why I didn't tell them sooner.
    I guess as pregnant ladies we're meant to wear a flashing neon sign that states ' I'm Pregnant'? Just because we don't shout it from the roof tops doesn't mean we're not over the moon happy and in love with our LO's to be.
    SHEESH.


    wow... way to vent in a vent thread. We should make T-Shirts about how happy we are to be pregnant, in case anyone doubts.
     
  4. xloulabellex

    xloulabellex Mummy to 2 beautiful boys

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    Some people need to back off, I guess she felt partly jealous that you were ahead of her and doesn't want people to be like "ahh yeah, she's pregnant too".. it would move attention away from HER so if she got in their first..

    OR, she's completely clueless and didn't think she was doing anything wrong.. I have a few of those "hyenas" in my life too. Clueless idiots.

    <3 congrats on your little boy anyway :)
     
  5. Akinesia

    Akinesia Well-Known Member

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    Now that I think about it more, I think you're right Loulabelle... she likes to be the center of attention and may have became jealous at the realization that I'm pregnant too, and further ahead and not yet showing like she is. She probably wanted to be able to steal my thunder any way she could, and that was all she could do... blab to the world before I had the chance.
     
  6. Akinesia

    Akinesia Well-Known Member

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    Exactly! People who I haven't spoken to in months and even years are asking me why I hadn't told them yet too. Why in the world would I? It's my first pregnancy, I've had some health scares already, and the whole world doesn't need to know all about it before I'm completely comfortable with them knowing. Well... they do now anyways. I was hoping to keep it between myself and those close to me for as long as my bump would allow.
     
  7. crazylady79

    crazylady79 Well-Known Member

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    There some real bad minded people out there, who only think of themselves. I too am trying to keep a low profile about being pregnant for the moment for a lot of the same reasons. I told my boss at work only because I work in a hospital and she ended up telling the whole unit. So people I really don't want to know KNOW and others who normally don't pay me any mind now are all supposedly very very happy and concerned for me. In my personal life I haven't made a big announcement but I am letting my friends know slowly but surely.
     
  8. Noirin

    Noirin Well-Known Member

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    Omg i can totaly understand you, im gone 20 weeks and still havent told some aunts uncles cousins etc, have only told a few close friends, and thats totaly my right and my choice to do so, id be furious if some1 took that right away from me, good on you for not hiting her, id have done it and blamed the hormones complete and utter cow !!
     
  9. stickylizard

    stickylizard Well-Known Member

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    when i told my mum at 12 weeks just after the scan (she is not fond of my OH to put it mildly) she didnt congratulate me, still hasnt, and said "WHO KNEW BEFORE ME?" as god forbid i told other people (who were happy for me!) before her. then said "why are you keeping it quiet, are you ashamed?" i was like :O no im bloody not! but I spread news of my first pregnancy on facebook and shared the whole experience with everybody i vaguely knew, it was great but this time im not even ON facebook anymore and im enjoying it being just a close family event.

    i know how you feel but you gotta let it go. otherwise youre letting her take over your life. she'd be so happy if she knew she had had such an effect that you were on a forum ranting about her! move on to happier things and accept that she sucks. put people straight when they ask why you didnt tell them - why the hell should you anyway? xxx
     
  10. no drama mama

    no drama mama Well-Known Member

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    Holy crap - I would have smacked the shit out of her.
     
  11. xAmiixLouisex

    xAmiixLouisex Mommy! <3

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    Everytime you mentioned her I just pictured a hyena, not a lady that looks or sounds like one. An actual hyena standing there having a conversation :dohh: I totally see where you're coming from. I shared it on facebook. I'm not great at secrets and stuff. But, when I meet new people and they don't know it feels like a bit of a relief. It's just nice to take a break from all the people pretending to be oh so happy for you but they don't actually care. Then people say "OMG why didn't you say?!". Maybe because you'd at all excited like you are now even though it has no effect on your life what so ever -__-
     
  12. pixeldust

    pixeldust Well-Known Member

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    I hear ya. I'd only told a handful of people, including only 3 or 4 in my office (my boss, a work friend/colleague and a few others), when I found out at first. Within days I got an email from a vendor I had met ONCE congratulating me on my news. WTF.
     
  13. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    My brother told everybody that I was having a boy, me only having told my dad....!

    I think the whole situation with hyena is funny, but you are right to be annoyed! (I would have smacked her myself)....just make sure she doesn't plan a joint shower! HAHAHA

    best wishes
     
  14. Mummy Bean

    Mummy Bean Parker & Dougs Mum

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    i feel your pain, a lady at work has announced she is pregnant but only a few weeks behind me, i went to congratulate her and mentioned that she had done well to keep her secret as everyone found out with me pretty quickly as had to make some very sudden lifestlye changes which ppl noticed.

    She then has proceeded to tell the whole office she doesnt know what i been complaining about for the past two months (not that i have been complaining i just had to make some adjustments to my day to fit all the throwing up in)- apprently pregnacy easy, and that she feel my MS was a lie.

    but to be honest life wouldnt be the same with out the 'hyena' we all have one and they intend to ruin that tiny bit of our lives.
    hope ur ok, and the rest of ur distant acquaintances manage to keep away.
     
  15. jenn2282

    jenn2282 mom to Arianna

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    urg people are annoying i finally told facebook and one chick i barley talk to and haven't seen in 2 years sends me a message telling me i have some explaining to do. Um no i don't thanks.
     
  16. Akinesia

    Akinesia Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the responses :) Ya, I know I should just let it go and move on, but you know I feel so much better after writing this rant about what a nasty person she is! Sometimes we just have to rant about the little things that annoy us in life.
     

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