Venting - had to drop breast feeding for the bottle

[AlwaysPraying]

After a hard labour ending in a c section I breast fed for 2 days solid and then couldn't anymore. Long story short, I feel totally inadequate. They make you feel horrible for bottle feeding, as if your doing something awful to your child. I would do anything to have breast feeding work, but my nipples were bloody, my milk took ages to come in, he didn't latch properly and was always fussing. I was in tears for days. The formula saved our house. Now, with giant sore breasts and a bottle at my babies mouth, I don't know how to feel. I already feel bad enough not being able to deliver "naturally" and ending up with a section.

 

[aliss]

After a hard labour ending in a c section I breast fed for 2 days solid and then couldn't anymore. Long story short, I feel totally inadequate. They make you feel horrible for bottle feeding, as if your doing something awful to your child. I would do anything to have breast feeding work, but my nipples were bloody, my milk took ages to come in, he didn't latch properly and was always fussing. I was in tears for days. The formula saved our house. Now, with giant sore breasts and a bottle at my babies mouth, I don't know how to feel. I already feel bad enough not being able to deliver "naturally" and ending up with a section.

I'm sorry you feel that way! I had a vaginal delivery but LO was injured during labour and I too feel like the entire thing was a failure (after a perfectly healthy pregnancy).

Things don't always go as we planned - of course a lot of us here did plan to BF and did also plan to have perfectly healthy LO's delivered vaginally with no complications - not reality unfortunately. You did what you know was best for your LO and just remember that.

 

[catfromaus]

Can I first offer congrats and a massive hug on the birth of your baby

I've been following your pregnancy, and am so thrilled that you got your healthy baby! Although I can't identify with how you are feeling, I can tell you that the health of your baby is the most important thing. To have a healthy baby, he needs to be fed. In an ideal world, I know you want to breastfeed, but as long as you are feeding that baby, you are NOT failing him. Another thing that will contribute to his health is your emotional health- happy mummy= happy baby. Don't let yourself get caught up on this, just try and move forward and enjoy your baby.

Cat
xxx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I understand how you feel.
I had to give up breast feeding after almost 3 weeks because I kept getting chapped, hives, etc. and she was latching properly, so we had no idea why this was happening.
I just got diagnosed with severe urticaria, which makes me have severe allergic reactions to water, sweat, saliva, etc. So basically my urticaria made me allergic to my own daughter's saliva.

I feel like such a failure because of having to switch to FF. I manage to nurse her in the morning and at night, more for my comfort than her's.

They say it gets better though

 

[moomin_troll]

Awww sweetheart, big hug

I no how ur feeling apart from the section, as bf didnt work for us either and we turned to ff and zane was much happier but it broke my heart.
But dont u dare feel bad about any of this, yes u had a section but in my eyes ur so brave to have gone thru that as u no its a very serious operation and takes longer to heal. Some babies just dont take the the breast even tho its natural, zane wouldnt latch either and it was so painful, i lasted 4 days before i just had to stop.

You gave ur lo the best start by even trying to bf so thats great and ur doing ur best for ur lo as he/she is obviously better with bottles.

Hope u start to feel better about it soon, but ur not alone in how ur feeling xxx

 

[beanzean]

I'm with you on this one!!!

I've been crying for a few days over having to start FF and feel like the biggest failure ever. BF went great and we did it for almost 6 weeks with Grace latching on brilliantly and no damage to my nipples....I thought things couldn't have been more perfect.

But she suffered from horrific colic/wind and I felt like every time I fed her I was poisoning my little girl and I just wanted to die. Well the HV finally saw her in a full blown colic attack last week and when I said she had been screaming like that for 4 days and hadn't slept she was horrified and prescribed SMA LF. We started it 2 days ago and she is improving now but I've never felt so guilty and distraught in my life. I'm still going to try BF 2 or 3 times a day and see if her health remains stable before I give up completely as I'm finding it very upsetting losing the closeness and bond we have when she feeds.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

Thanks guys, that means a lot. I know "logically" that what we are doing is the right thing, but it's hard to accept that. Last night I was looking at the can of formula reading the ingredients and started to cry. Dh reminded me of all the chemicals and things in breast milk as well, from what we eat etc.

Bubs is so happy and loves his bottle, so it's wonderful to see that. He roots for my breast still and that makes me sad, again, like I'm letting him down. I just want to do the best by him that I can. I'm trying! Its' all I can do, right!

 

[moomin_troll]

in just afew days zane seemed to have already "learnt" that i had to pull my feeding top down to feed him, so for weeks after i stopped when he was hungery hed pull on my top. it broke my heart but end of the day if lo cant latch on and isnt getting fed then being on the bottle is the next best thing.

 

[bubbles123]

Big hugs! I hate the whole 'natural delivery' thing. I had to have a ventouse because my son got stuck. I was recovering in the ante natal ward and a midwife came in a said, 'oh, you had a ventouse. Are you going to try next time for a natural birth?' I could have killed her! Obviously my son got stuck because I didn't try hard enough. humph.
He will stop rooting soon, my son did very soon after going to bottles, which will help you. You're doing your best and you tried. That's all anyone can do.

 

[moomin_troll]

the mw pulled my sons head out n if she had dare said that wasnt a natural birth i would of swung for her lol

no matter how the baby gets out, its still special and for women who have seconds i have the up most respect for as i no i couldnt do it

 

[BrookieG]

After a hard labour ending in a c section I breast fed for 2 days solid and then couldn't anymore. Long story short, I feel totally inadequate. They make you feel horrible for bottle feeding, as if your doing something awful to your child. I would do anything to have breast feeding work, but my nipples were bloody, my milk took ages to come in, he didn't latch properly and was always fussing. I was in tears for days. The formula saved our house. Now, with giant sore breasts and a bottle at my babies mouth, I don't know how to feel. I already feel bad enough not being able to deliver "naturally" and ending up with a section.

Ollie was the exact same hun, I stopped when he was 3 days old. I didnt want him to waken up coz i knew id have to feed him. I spent the first 3 days of being a mum being terrified of my son needing fed. My nipples were cracked n bleeding when he was 4 hours old, i would feed him crying through the pain n see my blood on his lips. I made the choice to switch to formula and instantly the huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. The minute i had that bottle made i wanted my son to waken up so i could feed him. He was instantly a much calmer n settled little boy. You are providing for your son, youhave given him collostrum for the first 2 days of his life thats an achievement hun! Thats what i focus on the first ever feed of Ollie's life was purely from me, does it matter now that he's on formula? No way! Dont ever let anyone make you feel guilty hun, ur feeding your son and he in turn has a happy mummy which means happy baby!

As for not having a "natural" birth, sweetie you carried your child for 9 months he's here and he's healthy thats all that matters he'll never know the difference all he knows is he has a mummy who loves him so much and he'll adore the ground you walk on.

I did have a day or 2 where i felt so guilty that i couldnt do it but then i just look at my happy content little man with a full tummy...that just wasnt the case when i was BF...

Lastly huge congrats I always followed your posts n im so happy ur little man is here! xx