Very strange question, would this offend you?

Discussion in 'Formula Feeding' started by asacia, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. asacia

    asacia Guest

    Sorry for asking this, but I don't want to risk offending or upsetting my friend.

    My friend is having a baby soon, and I have a feeling she is going to formula feed from birth.

    If she does decide to FF, would she be offended if I offered her a couple of days worth of BM for her newborn?

    It isn't as good as colostrum, but will still have benefits, but I don't want it to seem like I'm judging her choice, or telling her that I think formula is bad or wrong.

    What do you ladies think?
     
  2. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    Messages:
    16,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Breast milk changes in its consistency to match baby's needs doesn't it? So wouldn't your breast milk be wrong for a newborn?
     
  3. ChloesMummy

    ChloesMummy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,356
    Likes Received:
    0
    It depends, how close your friendship is and her reasons for chosing to ff as it may offend her. Personally I wouldn't take it very well and be slightly offended. It will be a difficult convo to have!
     
  4. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    94,296
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have to say I'd probably be offended as well
     
  5. jackiea85

    jackiea85 Mum of 2 boys

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    2,392
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think if she has chosen to use formula then she might be offended. I think it might be a bit different if she really wanted to breastfeed and couldn't or was having difficulties, then she might be happy that you have offered to help her, but as she has made the decision to use formula then she might think you are questioning her choices. Hope that makes sense xx
     
  6. penguin77

    penguin77 Pround mummy of 2 :-)

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    To be honest i would be offended....her choice is to FF to you should leave her to it.
    Offering makes it feel you're questioning her judgement to FF, because she would do it herself if she wanted too.

    It's nice of you to think of them though.

    xx
     
  7. Wobbles

    Wobbles WoBbLeWoBbLe
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    99,825
    Likes Received:
    28
    I'd be shocked and uncomfortable if my BEST FRIEND suggested that along side a strangely feel of offended.

    Yikes!
     
  8. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    Messages:
    16,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aside from what I said at first (which I now realise isn't an issue because I guess there wouldn't be breastmilk banks if it was) I don't think I'd be offended, but maybe a bit patronised.

    I get why you'd want to offer though. Have you chatted to her about feeding? If not, maybe just talk to her about breastfeeding ONCE, then let it go. I don't think offering her your BM is the way to go.
     
  9. Plumfairy

    Plumfairy Mum-mum-mum-mum

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    3,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think I'd be offended, yes.
     
  10. Plumfairy

    Plumfairy Mum-mum-mum-mum

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    3,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Although Its a nice gesture (in a weird way lol) but if I'd chosen to FF and someone else offered to give me their BM I'd probs find it odd...
     
  11. Kirstin

    Kirstin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,162
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wouldn't be offended, I would be annoyed your sticking your nose in though
     
  12. Connah'sMommy

    Connah'sMommy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2009
    Messages:
    6,121
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think i would be offended but its still nice of you to think of them! x
     
  13. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2007
    Messages:
    45,498
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would be offended that you felt the need to put me into a compromising decision after i had already decided how to feed my child
     
  14. krissie1234uk

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,914
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yep, completely offended. I think it would feel like you were questioning her decision. I think, to be honest, if my friend had offered my baby BM when I had problems at the start I would feel like a failure and be hurt. Don't think its a good idea hun xxx
     
  15. Sophie1205

    Sophie1205 Mum to 1 and WTT

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Messages:
    5,971
    Likes Received:
    0
    In a way, its a nice thought...

    But personally I would be offended. If that was offered to me I would be thinking that that person thought that my choice of how I want to feed my child is wrong and I would think that if my child was going to have any breast milk it would be mine. However, as I did, your friend has already weighed it all up in her mind and has chosen to FF from birth for a reason. And there's nothing wrong with FF from the start. x
     
  16. techi_girly

    techi_girly Proud mum to Oliver

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2008
    Messages:
    646
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would be offended. I dont know how close you are to your friend but even if my closest friend suggested that I would feel like she was trying to judge my decision even if it isnt meant that way. xx
     
  17. kirsten1985

    kirsten1985 Guest

    I guess it depends on why she has chosen to FF.

    I know that some people just don't like the whole idea of BF so maybe if it was me, and I didn't like the idea of BF but I knew that BM was best for them in the beginning I would like to be offered some milk for the first few days.

    Mind you, if it was me, I would happily have given my baby anyones milk when I was struggling with BF as formula was a last resort.

    But, I guess if she has chosen to FF because she thinks it is best for her and baby, then maybe it's not a good idea.

    I think it's a really nice idea though and I wish I had a friend with some extra milk!:hugs:
     
  18. embo216

    embo216 Mummy to 3 <3

    Joined:
    May 17, 2008
    Messages:
    11,449
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would be offended yes
     
  19. asacia

    asacia Guest

    Thanks for all the feedback. I'm glad I asked, I'd hate to offend her. Do you think I'd be safe to just casually drop in to conversation that I've got far to much milk and might have to donate some?

    She is going through a really, really hard time and I don't think she could cope with BF'ing, so that might be why she doesn't want to.
     
  20. kirsten1985

    kirsten1985 Guest

    In that case, yes, I would casually drop it into conversation. That way you don't have to actually ask her.

    I also think it's great that you did all that expressing and stuff at the start and now you have extra milk! Yay!
     

Share This Page