Views on having MIL in the hospital when in labour

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by Snowball, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Snowball

    Snowball Resident badass

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    My first two births were induced and both times it took about 4 days from the start till the finish. Because we were in hospital all that time my DH invited his mum in both times. I don't know if I'm being snotty but there's something about having your MIL present when you are in pain and about to fire a person from your bits that made me really not want her there.

    I was talking to my DH the other day and I suggested that he didn't invite her this time (I also suggested it the second time but he got bored and invited her anyway). He told me she only comes because she cares and I should stop moaning.

    I would feel a little hypocritical saying this if I had my own mum there when I'm in labour but tbh I'd hate having her there. I feel giving birth is something I'd rather just me and my DH share. I think whoever wasn't there when we concieved shouldn't be there when he's nearly here.

    Is this selfish? I'm being induced a week early this time and I'm now starting to worry that she'll turn up when I'm huffing and gruffing and start talking about her day and how the weather is. Would anyone else be annoyed if their MIL turned up at this point?
     
  2. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    I'd be annoyed if mine turned up anytime after I was in active labour untill 3 days after the baby was born :rofl:
     
  3. Rebaby

    Rebaby Mama to 2 boys

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    I don't think it's selfish, it's your birth hun :hugs: Sounds like your OH isn't even that bothered about her being there either, i mean it would be one thing if he desperately wanted her around for support...but because he's bored?! Not a very good reason when it makes you uncomfy.

    I am lucky as my MIL is a lovely person, but she lives around 100 miles away and isn't the sort to turn up unannounced!

    I would also feel uncomfortable having my own mother there too, in fact anyone really other than OH. When we were planning a homebirth i invited my best friend (of over 14 years) to be at the birth as she's a very calming influence and clued up on natural remedies, homeopathy and has a great belief in 'the natural' so i thought she'd be a good back-up if OH started totally freaking out. However since we're now having a hospital birth i feel less comfortable with her being there as she is terrified of hospitals and i am sure i can be doing without worrying about her when I'M in labour! Lol. So i haven't officially 'uninvited' her, but we're just planning on having the two of us there now.

    I'd definitely tell your OH you don't want your MIL there this time and ask him to respect your wishes :hugs:
     
  4. Snowball

    Snowball Resident badass

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    He's always like it when I'm in hospital, he tries to make a joke of everything so sits and moans that he's uncomfy in his chair or that he's bored. I am used to his humour really:blush:

    I think it stems from men being closer to their mums than women. I'm not overly close to my MIL, she's okand I like her but not enough to sit and listen to mudane rubbish when I'm trying not to scream the hospital down:blush:
     
  5. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    God if my DH invited his mum into labour room i'd go mental. Were not even telling her im in labour, just when bubs is here. Its not selfish at all, its your laour and your OH should respect your wishes hun
     
  6. mrsraggle

    mrsraggle Wifey & Mummy

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    God, I'd hate to have my MIL there. Or anyone other than DH!!
     
  7. MummyToAmberx

    MummyToAmberx Mum to 3 Girls 1 Boy

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    Oh, god no! Thanks.
    Fine about having my mother there not MIL.
    Me & OH only this time :)
     
  8. Lazy Leo

    Lazy Leo Well-Known Member

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    I've got enough problems dealing with the idea of my own mum being there and we are very close, but my MIL - no way on God's Earth!

    Its your body, would hubby want your mother to see all his bits and pieces going through the trauma yours are?!
     
  9. Bam

    Bam 3rd Trimester - #1

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    I must be the only one with no problem. As a matter of fact, I'd be honoured if my mother-in-law will be able to be here when I have the baby. Of course, she won't be in while I'm actually delivering but during labour? Sure. I mean, it's just as much her grandbaby as it is my own mother's. *shrug* Of course, hubby's mother and grandmother are flying from Gloucestershire and Gt. Yarmouth to the States to try to be here for the birth so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.

    Although, I can understand everyone else's apprehension to it. The above is my personal view on my personal situation.
     
  10. hivechild

    hivechild Mummy to Ronan

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    I can completely understand where you're coming from and hope that your DH get it this time and doesn't invite her in.

    Personally I love my MIL, and since she works in the hospital we're going to have the baby in, I wouldn't mind her popping in while I was in labor. I won't mind my mum being there either, but come actual birthing time, I only want my DH there with me.
     
  11. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    It depends on how well you get on with your mother in law. Peronally I wouldnt want my other halfs mum anywhere near me. I Wouldnt even want my own mum in there with me! Just my other half was fine. Thats all i needed. Would be totally weird and unconfortable to have MIL there seeing all your bits. Even though your OH has seen your bits its a different light he is seeing them in. I tried to keep him away from down there but the midwife was using him as a doc ffs. Certainly wouldnt want MIL to see me in that light!
     
  12. claire99991

    claire99991 Mum of 2....

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    i think your actually sum kind of saint to have put up with this before actually lol!! no way am i or would have my MIL at my birth or for a few days after (i dont mind the odd 20 min to say hello but thats it) its not selfish at all xxx
     
  13. K477uk

    K477uk Mum of One!

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    I think if you have made it clear that you don't want her there.. she shouldn't be there!! Especially if you own mother isn't there - maybe that is one way round it - tell OH that your mum feels left out, so you'd rather not have MIL there either!!
     
  14. BlackBerry25

    BlackBerry25 Helena & Elliot <3

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    No. It would never happen! :rofl:

    I would honestly rather be in there alone.
     
  15. girl friday

    girl friday Mummy to 2 gorgeous boys

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    God no! Like a lot of the other ladies have said, I want it to be just me and DH!

    We'll see enough of my mum and his (and the rest of our families) after the baby is born, the moment of birth is our time to share and welcome our LO into the world.
     
  16. MeggieMoo88

    MeggieMoo88 Waiting 4 our little man!

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    Well I get on with my MIL, but theres no way on earth I would have her in the labour room with me, I hardly know her tbh (will of been with my boyf for 14 months by time baby arrives) and certainly don't want her seeing my lady bits or me huffin and puffin and all sweaty either lol!

    I don't even want my mum in the room with us, but shes adamant that she will be coming with us, but will leave when I want....which will be straight away then LOL...

    As some one else said, its a very special moment and something I want to share with my boyfriend only!!

    x
     
  17. minnie83

    minnie83 Olivia's mummy

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    no way would I have her there! I can't think of anything worse!
     
  18. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    I can FIL aswell !!
     
  19. DizzyMoo

    DizzyMoo Guest

    Its your labour & birth & dh should respect you dont want her there not ignore you & ask her anyway. Just coz hes bored ? Yes labour can be very boring for them i understand that if its a long labour so why doesnt he nip out for a walk round? OR something to eat or just to ring her then. You dont have anyone there who you dont want hun & get him told x
     
  20. Bunnipowder

    Bunnipowder Well-Known Member

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    I would not want my MIL there simply because we are not very close, she hardly speaks to me.

    No problem with my own mom Id want the support off her but if you dont need anymore support other then your Oh than there is no need for her to be there really.
     

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