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Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by Snowball, Aug 30, 2009.
i would hold my legs crossed till the pain killed me!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way!! cant think of anything worse. She actually did ask me and i was like, err.... no.. I could just imagine her wanting to hold the baby straight away and sticking her nose in or talking crap about god and stuff ARGH!!! DONT DO IT!!
I think it all depends on your relationship with your MIL and if you feel comfortable. I had both my mom and dad with me aswell as DH the first time. This time I'm inviting my MIL and my mom. I have a good relationship with my MIL and I feel comfortable around her.
I'm with the minority on this one. I have a great relationship with not only my Mother in Law but also my Step-Mother in Law. I want both of them present at the birth, along with my Mum and DH. Don't know if I'll be allowed that many people in with me though, so DH and I still have to sort that. Probably end up with all the mums in the waiting room taking shifts.
I do feel comfortable around my MIL, and love her to bits. Heck, I go clothes shopping and try them on in the same cubicle as her, and she's seen me get changed into my wedding dress and had to hold up my boobs for me. I really don't care ...
But during labour, no way. No one but my DH will be there. I just don't think it's right to share that time with family, not for me anyway.
So you are completely within your rights to ask your OH/DH to not let his mum in. And if he gets bored and wants her to be there, he can go outside into the hallway and talk to her there!
I have my own mother trying to persuade me to let her be there when our LO is on the way, but I'm firmly saying no. To me it is an incredibly private occasion! H2B's ex wife had her mother with her instead of him and he felt left out of the whole pregnancy and birth because of it. To me, the baby is a result of our love for eachother, and therefor should be experienced by us as part of that love...... NOT as part of a "show" for other people to attend.
Its not selfish at all, I only want my OH there, not even my mum nevermind his. I just feel weird at the thought of people being around when I'm in pain.
nope not selfish at all I was very happy when I was told no one but the dad to be was allowed in the labor room per my hospital's policy
I could only have my boyfriend and mum, so I understand where you're coming from completely. It's not that I don't appreciate that it's her grandchild too, her son and means a lot to her - but im in pain, embarrassed and uncomfortable so I don't want an audience and extra added pressure!
I think your husband is a bit out of order inviting her in...
I wouldnt want my own mum there let alone my MIL!
I don't intend on anyone knowing i'm even in labour! Only me and OH at the birth and everyone else will have to wait until the baby is here. For me its a very private thing for only me and OH, i would hate anyone to even be at the hospital and certainly would not allow them in the room while i was giving birth.
My mil recons shes going to be there when we eventualy have a baby. She has got no chance in hell. She irritates the hell out of me at the best of times.
Depends on your relationship with your MIL. Sounds like yours is very different from mine. I would love to have my MIL there. I know my mom won't be there and in some ways I get along better with my MIL anyway. Honestly, I know my husband doesn't want to be in there, but he'll do it if I ask.
I think it's really important you and your OH come to some agreement on this - it would be very selfish of him to insist if you're really against the idea... I mean, her presence is hardly necessary or essential, is it? what is she going to do other than stand there making you feel even more uncomfortable than you already are?
We won't be having anyone else there but if we did, it would have to be something we both agreed to - I can't imagine having it any other way.
I don't think you'd be unreasonable to put your foot down. Can you sneakily write it in your birth plan without him knowing, maybe the staff can make sure she doesn't get in without making it look like she's 'barred'...?
hope you manage to figure it out hon, I'd hate to think someone was there against my wishes... I'm going to have enough on my mind!
I read the title of this thread and thought 'omg'. No I don't want MIL to see me sweaty and in pain with my legs in the air, no freaking way!!! This is something that you and you alone have to do so it should be up to you who is there and who isn't xxx
i know it sounds selfish but im not letting my boyfriends mum in when im in labour but im having my own mum in. only because i dont know this woman (well i do but not v well) and id feel very uncomfortable with her there. i completely kno where ur coming from!
oh my goood dont even get me started!
TBH I wouldn't even want my mum in there with me! We are really close but I know she would probably wind me up! I definately wouldn't want my MIL2b to be there!
I think the only person other than my OH that I would want to be there is my cousin, I know that she would help me to keep calm.
OMG No! No-one but OH and me! Never, ever, ever... and really don't know how long after I'll be able to keep them away for, but I'll try for a good few hours / days / weeks!!!!
Thats not remotely selfish! I wouldn't want my own mum there, thats my choice, we are really close but its not something either of us would want to happen. I certainly wouldn't dream of having MIL there. When I am at my most vulnerable, in terrible pain (and probably in fear for my life as its the first one!!) - NO WAY!!