Views on having MIL in the hospital when in labour

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by Snowball, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Gunner's Mama

    Gunner's Mama Mom of 2

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    The first time I had my mom and MIL along with my husband but this time its just us two. I want to call people and tell them that we had our baby after I have a chance to freshen up. I want the focus to be on our us this time!
     
  2. Baby2ontheway

    Baby2ontheway Mother of 2 and expecting

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    It is your birth...your in charge and you choose who you want there!!!
     
  3. mum2b2009

    mum2b2009 mummy of two boys!

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    OMG my mil is the last person on this planet that i would like to have at my birth!! no way! good luck hun x
     
  4. Anna1982

    Anna1982 mummy of 4

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    I couldnt imagine having either my mum or mil present, its just gonna be me and dh

    mil will be looking after our son and my mum will be in florida
     
  5. Kte

    Kte Mummy to Chloe & Sophie

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    My OH is a HGV driver so if he can't get back in time, at a push, I would have my Mum there but that would be at a push. I'm hoping we will have enought time so he can get back if he has gone to work. As much as I love my Mum the thought of her being there whilst I am going through all that freaks me out but some company would be nice.

    MIL - NO WAY!!! I am lucky as OH and I both want that special time together. I know that he wouldn't want her there anyway, he would be stressed enough as it is anyway and his Mum at times can push all the wrong buttons!
     
  6. lesleyann

    lesleyann Mummy

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    not a chance in hell of the MIL being there lol i wernt happy when she came to visit a few hours after i had him, next time im not telling anyone till after visiting hours at hosp :thumbup:
     
  7. FierceAngel

    FierceAngel Guest

    my mil was there at luisa's birth

    i have always got on with her and if anything it brought us closer..

    she 30 mins after luisa was born so we could be alone

    saying tht my mil isnt interferring in any way even with luisa in fact in the early weeks she used to text to ask if i needed anything and did i want her to come round then panic to oh tht i might think she was interferring.. she was desperate to see luisa and i was so grateful of her help..

    we get on so well and after she sent me a text saying tht was the best sat night out she had ever had lol
     
  8. MotherBear

    MotherBear Baby No 4 on way

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    It doesn't bother me who wants to be there (within reason). My MIL, mother and of course OH want to be there. My Mother has been with me during all previous 3 labours. My brother was even there once when I was in labour with my 3rd and delivering (we are very close and I was crying for him, the things drugs can do to you, lol). My Grandad once visited me during my labour with my 2nd child, he was passing whilst heading to town so popped in to see how how I was doing (I was only about 5cm's so I was not at a stage where he could see my bits). I always seem to have student doctors and midwives in with me, as well as a fully qualified team, as I don't mind them being there, they have to learn. In fact by the end of the labour, my Mother can tell me their full carears, hobbies and interests. It always starts to begin like a gathering, lol.

    I am close to my MIL and she loves her grandchildren just as much as my parents. I think that she has as much right as my mother to be there.

    I always look at the pregnancy as being a joint thing, so as much as I want my mother to be there my hubby may want his mother there (plus she is a great support, my Mother just sits and talks to the staff and tells me how much hair the baby as). It's a great proud moment that you want to share with those closest to you, when you push your baby into the world and get to meet them for the very first time. It's always very emotional.

    I know that some people want it to be a private intimate affair and share different opinions to me. I've never really tried that way. I think that my hubby feels more supported with people around him, telling him that things are going normal and not to worry. He also sees this as an opportunity to sneak outside for a ciggie. I have warned him this time, if he goes for a ciggie or eats a big mac infront of me whilst I am in labour then I will shove the mac down his throat and there will be no need to visit the docs for the "snip" as I will cut them myself!
     
  9. Christine33

    Christine33 Well-Known Member

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    i'd hate to have any of my inlaws at my birth, really i would. it is such a personal and private moment and i personally don't think it involves them (unless YOU want them there). for me it is only daddy who should be there, after all, he made the baby with me not his mum, sister, auntie etc!!!!
     
  10. Rees

    Rees Mummy and Pregnant

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    MIL is so not gonna be here, hoping to have a home birth, and she lives around the corner - i can see her now just popping round for a cuppa

    don't get me wrong, i love her to bits but she's scatty

    she's hardly got us anything for this baby, and always asks my fella how the baby is - not me (!)

    my fella will be here with me, as well as my mum, purely because my fella cannot keep me calm, although all i'll get off my mum is "stop swearing Leigh!" lol - she only wants to be there to see what the baby looks like coming out! (thanks mum!)

    just spoken to my fella about this, and he reckons that his mum won't pop round, but then he got worried and asked if she'll be allowed around straight after - uuuuuuhhhhhh, yessssss, she can come round once i'm all cleaned up to see her first grandchild - that bit i don't mind! just don't want her here when i'm in pain going on about her life and her woes!
     
  11. 555ann555

    555ann555 Mummy to Gabriella

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    I completely understand why you want it to be just the 2 of you (and then just the 3 of you:))


    I think I'd be more uncomfortable with my own mother at the birth than I would be with my MIL, but that is because my mother cannot stop herself interfering, where as my MIL understands boundaries!

    Having said that, I don't actually want either of them there at the birth.

    My hubby keeps saying how my mum is going to be there anyway. She's already trying to take over and I'm only 6+2! :rofl: at this rate I'll have strangled her before I give birth!
     
  12. trying4#1

    trying4#1 Well-Known Member

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    My mil was hinting she wanted to be there for this baby's delivery. I say no. It is an occasion for me and oh. I have planned to also arrange a b and b for my mum to stay in when I am due so she can stay in the hosp, not in the room though. Mil and mum could both wait there infact. I wouldn't feel comfortable with mil being in the room. My mum has seen everything before and appreciates boundaries, I would like her to be there if my oh needed any help.
     

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