Visitors: What are your rules?

A

aob1013

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Just wondering what everyone else is going to be doing regarding visitors.

I will be in hospital for a few days with Leni, as i have GBS. In that time, only immediate family will be allowed to visit, i.e - My Mum, Dad, Brother, and OH's Mum and sisters - of course asking me first.

Back at home, only immediate family again for a week. After that first week, i will then think about inviting people round.

People turning up at my door without asking first, will be turned away.

The way i see it is, people only want to come over to hold and coo over a newborn baby, not to see me (lets be honest). My son isn't a show off accessory, and i don't want him to be community held - if they are that desperate, they will still be desperate to see him when he is a few weeks old.

I also don't want to have to get dressed, or entertain people, or run off to another room in my own house to breastfeed. I also think the first few weeks, should be limited to help bonding between parents and babies.
What are your plans?
 
I don't really have any rules as such but I think things with my friend will be slightly difficult!

My Mum lives 2 hours away from us and I really don't want anyone seeing baby (apart from hubby of course) until my Mum has seen her! BUT my friend stays in the same city as me, she has been great through my pregnancy but she has sort of presumed she'll be straight to hospital when I've had baby! I have said a couple of times about 'no one before my Mum' but she still goes on about 'my work know I'm on standby so I can leave any time'!

Yikes!!

x
 
I am hoping that my stay in hospital will be short, but for the first 12 hours it will be Hubby only. If I have to stay in longer, it will be immediate family only (except my best friend - I have told her to tell the nurses that she is my sister :winkwink:)

When I get home, I am thinking of having designated visiting times like they do in hospital.
When we make our arrival announcement, we will add that visiting times will be between these times.
If someone arrives outside of my visiting times, they will be turned away.
Also, if anyone does visit, they will be asked to make themselves (and me) a cuppa before they are even allowed to hold baby (they can make themselves semi-useful). I will not be playing hostess to people that don't really want to see ME!!
 
My house will be pretty much open doors when I have the baby, we have a pretty big family and I they will be all visiting, I dont want anyone there all the time though, I want plenty of time with just OH and LO :) but im not gonna tell anyone they cant visit.

Hospital will be different though- definatly only very immediate family :)

xx
 
i am not having visitors at the hospital and no visitors at home until i am ready so they will have to wait until i feel up 2 it this goes for everyone except my mum and my sister bc they live with me but they are allowed to see me at the hospital reason being is i know they are the only people with the intention being there to help also bring my daughter in to see me when i had gabrielle i didnt make rules for visitors big mistake i had oh's famiy my family plus friends that had dissapeared through my pregnancy and it wasnt to see me it was to pass my baby around like a doll i dont know if its just me but i have always been really funny about who holds my lo's esspecially when they are really little and also i felt like i was on display i hated everyone standing around while i was tending to lo
 
Can i ask why you have to stay in hospital because of gbs? I had that with my first and just needed the antibiotics during labour. anywayyyy

I have no rules who can visit. Only thing is if friends who have not bothered with me while i was pregnant want to all of a sudden want something to do with me ill be sending them on there way.
 
iam having home birth and family are not that close by so be a while b4 they can visit,oh is having a week off so i can recoverthen ive told him hes got to go bk to work dont want him home any longer then that,this is my 5th baby but first with him and the sooner i get off my arse and in aroutine the better,i shant be sitting around in my pjs either all being well after the second day ill be up and about and getting moving so any one who pops round wont really bother me as long as they realise iam not on tea making duties thou theyknowwhere the kettle is lol
 
I have to admit, i want my parents to come in to see me 1st.
Hubbies family live 30 miles away and im convinced that even though they cant come in until visiting as soon as he rings and says im in labour itll be like a convoy to the hospital/our house. Which is what I deffinately dont want.
SO my plan is to tell hubby's parents that the visiting is 6.30-8pm when its 6-8 really. Plus my parents only live around the corner so would be there before hand anyway.

Ive also got to mention to him that I want just My Mum, Dad, sister, Nephew, mother in law and father in law on the 1st visit. Otherwise there will be 11 people around the bed!!!!! one being my SIL who i dont really think much of too.
So i may just ask if they if they want to come to the house when we're home instead.

Does that sound ok or just like me being nasty? My boss said I think you're just gona have to grit your teeth n let them come down but Im standing firm. but considering Ill of just given birth, will feel and look like crap and will be knackered I think i have the right to say who comes to the hospital and who can wait dont you?!?
 
I dont really have any rules as such.
Im happy for people to come over and see LO. But i want people to ask before they can come and not just show up, i would not be very happy if they did.
When i am happy to see people they are more then welcome
xx
 
We've said (and parents have agreed) that in hospital, we will have no one UNLESS I have to stay in for a few days. Once we're home, it will be first day - my mum, second day - DH's parents, third day - my dad and stepmum. I don't want them there all at the same time and think they should all get one on one time with baby.

DH is having 2 weeks off work to be at home (unpaid as he's a contractor) and to have as much one on one time with baby as he won't be taking much time off other than that period so we've said no to my friends during those 2 weeks as they're precious to us both.

My mum is then taking 2 weeks off to spend with us once DH has gone back to work, then and only then will I start to allow friends to come and visit. My mum and MIL have both told me how overwhelming it is and to do what we want first.
 
I don't want anyone to come and see me in the hospital as it will be an overnight stay at most if its a normal delivery. If I have to stay in a couple of days then my mum and that will come and see me - but only immediate family.

Once I'm home I want a couple of days just the three of us to get used to things before people start visiting, but if I'm not up to it - he will just tell people that turn up without and invite that I've taken the baby to bed for an hour or something xx
 
mine is the other way around. apart from my OH and kids , other family members will be kept away until when LO is maybe 1 year or even more cos we don't want any African traditional rituals around us or anywhere near our LO.
BUT our friends, neighbours, church members[ the ones that are close to us there] are most welcome any time [except at night and at ungodly hours though lol]. if they choose to visit at the hosp and / or at home......we have no problems with that. but we will have problem with any one that decides to use the opportunity to visit every day at home, or always want to be around for long hours [iykwim], then the person would have outstayed his/her welcome and be told so and to stay away. my OH and I are very blunt and out spoken so most of them know that and will not try to actually out stay their welcome.
 
I am hoping that my stay in hospital will be short, but for the first 12 hours it will be Hubby only. If I have to stay in longer, it will be immediate family only (except my best friend - I have told her to tell the nurses that she is my sister :winkwink:)

When I get home, I am thinking of having designated visiting times like they do in hospital.
When we make our arrival announcement, we will add that visiting times will be between these times.
If someone arrives outside of my visiting times, they will be turned away.
Also, if anyone does visit, they will be asked to make themselves (and me) a cuppa before they are even allowed to hold baby (they can make themselves semi-useful). I will not be playing hostess to people that don't really want to see ME!!

hiiiiii binxy how are you? i didnt know you were on here too. (Im Mrs Flannery from confetti) i didnt actually think of having just hubby in the hospital, would be a good time for us to get used to being a mummy n daddy before every descends
 
This is an interesting topic!

I have a different situation as well, as my husband will only be home for 3 weeks from Afghanistan to be with me and the baby. His family is great, but I know they'll want to be here as much as possible, both to see the baby and him. We're going to "invite" them at certain times so they are clear about when they are welcome. I need us to have some time as a family before he returns overseas!
 
I am hoping that my stay in hospital will be short, but for the first 12 hours it will be Hubby only. If I have to stay in longer, it will be immediate family only (except my best friend - I have told her to tell the nurses that she is my sister :winkwink:)

When I get home, I am thinking of having designated visiting times like they do in hospital.
When we make our arrival announcement, we will add that visiting times will be between these times.
If someone arrives outside of my visiting times, they will be turned away.
Also, if anyone does visit, they will be asked to make themselves (and me) a cuppa before they are even allowed to hold baby (they can make themselves semi-useful). I will not be playing hostess to people that don't really want to see ME!!

hiiiiii binxy how are you? i didnt know you were on here too. (Im Mrs Flannery from confetti) i didnt actually think of having just hubby in the hospital, would be a good time for us to get used to being a mummy n daddy before every descends

Oh HI :hi:
 
I've told everyone that for at LEAST 3 days me, OH, DS and LO will be alone getting used to our new routine and environment!!! this is our baby, and we are left with whatever annoyance visitors cause when they bugger off home. so i want time for us, time for me to re-humanise, and time for LO to settle in her new home before the whole town decends and mauls her and expects me to stand on ceremony!!! with DS people just ruined it for me. i couldn't get going with breast feeding properly cuase there was someone there ALL the time, and i felt i didn't have any rights over my newborn!

so, a passionate response, but to some up, my rule will be, - bugger off till i'm good and ready!! ha ha!!!
 
Aly I'm exactly the same as you, except without the GBS part!
My mum is one if my birthing partners so she will be there anyway and I'll need her help for the first few days. OHs family seem ridiculously laid back about seeing the baby when he is born so I'm expecting a lot of fuss and confusion from them when they eventually decide to visit.

Friends will have to speak to me before they come over - I will be ignoring anyone who doesn't bother to ask! My house = my rules.

I keep telling myself (as I know I may cave in) that those who matter won't care and those who care don't matter - and I'm sticking to it :)

Welcome to 3rd tri by the way :wave: xx
 
At the hospital I'll have hubby and my mum with me, no doubt the in laws will want to visit that first day too and perhaps my Aunt & Uncle. If I'm kept in for a few days then it will more than likely be the same people visiting plus my cousin.
Once we're at home (we share a house with my mum anyway) but it will just be hubby, myself and our toddler daughter for a few days before we're allowing an 'open door' to the rest of the family and firends to come visit, but I know I can trust my family & family to arrange a visit beforehand, they're considerate enough to not just pop in on the spur of the moment.
I think it will be very important for our first few days at home to be focused on our newborn and toddler, it is going to be such a shock and change for her to get used to, let alone having visiting constantly coming and going, we are determined for our todddler to feel very much a big part in those first few days.
 

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