Want to adopt/surrogacy

Discussion in 'Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy' started by Sunshiney, Jan 9, 2014.

  1. Sunshiney

    Sunshiney New Member

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    Hi everyone!
    I am excited to be a part of this group to get feedback and maybe some help😊
    First off I have a very loving family and have been happily married for 11 years and have 2 wonderful children! I experienced a horrible miscarriage this past year. We have always wanted a big family and considered adoption or surrogacy.
    I thought about foster care but not sure I could go through the heart break of giving the child back.
    So just a quick summary, hopefully our journey begins here!
     
  2. CastawayBride

    CastawayBride Mother of Two

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    Hello Sunshiney,

    I just saw this post never went over in this forum...I am an Adoption Specialist for my State, I work with the Child Protection System here and do adoptions from children in foster care. I also do per diem work for a private agency for domestic and international adoption. If you have any questions feel free to ask!

    I am so sorry for your loss hun...wishing you the best on your adoption journey!
     
  3. Sunshiney

    Sunshiney New Member

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    Hi Castaway!
    Thanks for writing me�� I would love to know the process of adoption, cost, length of time...etc
    Thx
     
  4. CastawayBride

    CastawayBride Mother of Two

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    PM me and we can chat...I can give an over all on this thread to for others to have input as well :)
     
  5. Sunshiney

    Sunshiney New Member

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    I don't know how to pm?
     
  6. lollipop92

    lollipop92 Well-Known Member

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    You should be able to click on the persons name and somewhere it should give you the option to message :) best of luck x
     
  7. Sunshiney

    Sunshiney New Member

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    Maybe you can pm me? I can't figure it out��
     
  8. BBWttc29

    BBWttc29 NTNP

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    I too am starting to consider adoption and would be interested in any advice you could give
     
  9. CastawayBride

    CastawayBride Mother of Two

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    Girls, I am SO sorry I got unsubscribed from this thread probably by checking it on my phone and not realizing what I clicked on!

    I can start by letting you know the different jobs I hold, and we can go from there. Adoption is a big decision and it works to do a bit of preparation in the beginning to decide what path you would like to take :thumb up:

    First and utmost I work with Child protection (the foster care system). In this system you would be looking to foster with the hope of a long term goal of adoption. In CPS we are always concurrently planning, meaning, we are working to reunify the children with their biological parents, however, this does not always happen so our second planning is looking for a forever home for the child. In some cases children can be returned home and then back into the foster home as CPS also deals with the Court system and they have a say in where the children go.

    Foster care adoption can be a wonderful option. Depending on your State the children will receive subsidy (in my State about 98% of our children are adopted with subsidy). This is a cash stipend monthly, and Mediciad for the child. This can be helpful to assist with day care or to save for the child for when they are college age. This can also be VERY trying on the heart....once a child is in your home you honestly have no control...courts, case workers and whether the birth parents actually do what they need to can impact whether the adoption occurs. I have seen so many rewarding adoptions though that I honestly find these the most rewarding!!

    Also, in foster care, many States have Safe Haven Law. These infants are processed through the Child Welfare System.

    Then there is private adoption. This is the type of adoption where you work with a private agency, pay to have a home study completed and then you go on to have your agency profile you to expectant mothers opting to provide adoption as a plan for their child. This can be costly, however, you will be able to feel like you have some control over your process. BUT, just remember, even these adoptions some times don't go through as birth mother/father can change their mind, and this is quite a commitment money wise to think about as well!

    There is also international adoption, done through a private agency. Honestly this has not been as busy at my private agency ( I do home studies for a private agency, part time). We have seen many countries restricting US adoptions...there is a lot of history behind that. What I can say is every country has different regulations, some age, some as far as weight and couples orientation. This can be costly and the wait can be a very long time as well...even more so then the other two options.
     
  10. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

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    You need five posts on the forum to PM someone, that is why you are not seeing the option. Good luck :)
     
  11. BBWttc29

    BBWttc29 NTNP

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    Thank you We compared the cost etc and we are pursuing adoption through the foster bare system. I'm currently n Florida we take the classes in June. I'd just like more information
     
  12. CastawayBride

    CastawayBride Mother of Two

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    Foster care is a great way to grow your family! Have you thought about the fostering piece?

    Baiscally with my families I go over legal statuses and where there comfort level is, as a couple. We have children that are legally free, these children are either surrendered by the birth parents, or we have terminated their rights. They are no legal risk,

    We then have children that are fost-adopt, meaning they are in the system and we are currently working with the parents for reunification with a concurrent plan of adoption, if needed. That would be a high risk situation. Then you have a situation where we have identified that we are going to trial, going for termination of rights and the DAG feels we have a good case (meaning we have provided all services and parents are still unable to provide a safe, stable home) and that would be considered a less legal risk, low risk.

    I always caution, the more legal risk the MORE chances you will be matched with a child. This allows for more opportunity. If you know that a child may be matched and may be removed and this is something you would not be able to handle emotionally then you will want to go into it honestly saying that is not something you can handle.

    I often tell my families start with vacation placements, meaning, foster a child while their usual resource home needs the temporary placement. See how it feels to connect to a child that will be removed in the near future...to get your feet wet and oriented with the system.
     
  13. BBWttc29

    BBWttc29 NTNP

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    we are definitely only looking at children we can adopt. we do not want to foster because of the chance of us or our kids getting attached. I was also in foster care so I definitely know how it goes. there are a lot of children up for adoption here in florida that are also in the foster care system. what would be something that would be cause for concern during a home study or cause us not to get approved
     
  14. CastawayBride

    CastawayBride Mother of Two

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    Just be as honest as possible, the home study is a long process, usually 6 months, sometimes longer.

    For others reading by ONLY accepting legally free children, and not going the foster to adoption route you are limiting your pool of available children, is this going to negatively impact your adoption plan? No, not at all, BUT, it will lengthen the wait or matching process.
     
  15. BBWttc29

    BBWttc29 NTNP

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    we have been told the whole process should take 6-8 months, but we are willing to wit. we definitely dont want our kids to have more emotional issues seeing kids coming and going from our house. but we are definitely committed to adopting a child. im hopeful that we will be able to
     
  16. Maria1979

    Maria1979 Member

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    Hi there

    I just wanted to share my thoughts on this adoption/surrogacy topic.
    I have MRKH syndrome which means that I am not able to gestate, as it is impossible without uterus. And I had no options but adoption or surrogacy. From the very beginning I preferred surrogacy. First of all a question of time. Surrogacy takes no more than 1 year.
    While adoption process can take you the eternity¬Ö The second point is that you have genetic relation with your baby. And it is really important, as for me. Well for my husband it was even more important. As he did not want even to hear about adoption while I was considering it. Of course it is up to each woman what to decide for. But in my opinion surrogacy is a better option.

    Good luck!
     
  17. Maria1979

    Maria1979 Member

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  18. Axl2

    Axl2 Well-Known Member

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    How much does surrogacy cost? Because from what I heard its costly so just curious. We have started the adoption process due to my tubes being damaged. We are doing the workshop and handing in our application in May.
     
  19. Maria1979

    Maria1979 Member

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    Well, it depends. The prices are very different. For example in the USA you will pay 150 thousands and more... It depends as well. I guess the most expensive prices for surrogacy are presented by the USA.

    We did the procedure in the Ukraine and it was less than 30 thousands euro in total.


    Axl2, but have you tried IVF? As far as I know tube damages are not the reason for surrogacy.
     
  20. Axl2

    Axl2 Well-Known Member

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    We were booked into an IVF clinic, but the more I looked into it I decided it was for me. So we have moved on to adoption. I was just curious what you paid for surrogacy. I looked into surrogacy in Canada and the price I found was $80,000. Infertility is so expensive its not fair.
     

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