Want to throat punch DH (long rant)

[Strike]

So, LO has been pretty fussy the past few days. It could be teething. It could be something completely unrelated, it doesn't matter. Anyway here's the story:

Yesterday LO gets up at 4:30. She plays for a bit then calls for the boob at about 5:10. I feed her and come back to bed. She plays a bit and cries out for some attention but nothing more. DH feels bad, brings her to bed. LO thinks this is great fun and stays up. I get pissed off ('cause I've been up since 4:30) and go downstairs to sleep the rest of the morning on the couch.

All day LO has been fussing over her food. She's starting to get picky over what she eats. She'll eat Cheerios but not her lunch or breakfast. She'll eat her fruit but not her dinner. So it's been a very stressful day trying to feed her and, by the time DH comes home, I'm emotionally drained.

DH gets a call from a friend inviting him out to a movie. I would never say no, but I certainly wasn't pleased and broke down. He goes anyway. LO has already been put down but wakes up about 5 minutes after he leaves (8:00) and cries for over 2 hours. I text DH and even call him in the middle of the movie. His reaction is to ask, "What do you want me to do?" What's he do? Goes back to the movie! So I text him that maybe he should spend the night at his parents because I really don't want to see him. He comes home after the movie and stomps upstairs and yells at me that I'm crazy...while I have finally gotten the baby to sleep while rocking her. She wakes up again.

Today he complains that he never gets to go out with his friends anymore (He's been out with them a few dozen times) and that I always get to go out with the girls (been out once without LO for a farewell party at work and had to leave early because he couldn't handle LO).

I've let him have it, but I don't think he understands how pissed I am at him.

 

[Tess.ie]

I think that men just dont get it

Sorry you have had such a rough few days, I know what they feel like! Hope things improve soon x

 

[Tess.ie]

Also, Chloe is nearly the same age and eats like your girl. Loves breakfast and would eat fruit all day. Plays with lunch and dinner more than she eats it unless she really likes it. I think thats maybe an age and stage thing

 

[missk1989]

My lo is the same age and just wants to eat fruit! Loves banana!

 

[bluestarlight]

Good on you for letting him have it. If you don't think he gets it, maybe also write him a letter or have a serious sit down talk? And....I would probably tell him your going out to a movie and he is to watch her...for several hours, maybe even overnight??? mwahahaha.... but thats the evil me. I think you should come up with a compromise. Maybe keep track of everytime he goes out, and tell him that you get an equal night to go out and he has to take care of her on his own. Then maybe after a few times of that....he will get the point....maybe....

 

[Mum2BKW]

Sorry you're having a hard time. But I must admit I don't see what calling him halfway through the movie was meant to achieve? What were you expecting him to do there and then?

Keeping tabs on who gets to go out more sounds like a recipe for bitterness, maybe you could arrange a sitter one evening and go out together?

 

[smallpeanut]

I think she was expecting him to come home. Tbh, if I got in a state looking after belle, I know all I need to do is call my oh and what ever he was doing, he'd come home and help me. It hasn't happened yet. But I'm sure it will. Chin up sorry your going through a tough time. X

 

[xLaura]

Grrr I'm so with you Hun. Our LO decided for the past 2 nights 3 o clock is a good time to wake up to play and is so hard to get him back sleep, it wasn't until 5am wen I was getting frustrated that OH woke up moaning that I'd woke him up (seriously it took him 2 hours to hear the baby laughing and screeching?) anyway I finally got him back sleep bout 5.30 and OH alarm goes off at 6 so I told him turn it off quick so it doesn't wake him, he sort of did this, baby just stirred. Then the inconsiderate ...... Put another alarm on 5 mins later because he was still tired and left it ringing!! Cue crying baby!! He honestly didn't see what the problem was and didn't care because I woke him up? Grrrr!!!
Sorry for ranting in your post lol, but our not the only one, I sware men have no idea lol.

 

[beautifulpack]

at the title of this thread!! OMG, I feel the same way sometimes!!! I truly do believe they just dont get it...and trust me, I've stressed every detail to my OH, but he'll turn around and do something similar the very next day. Its when I finally go into a rage when he'll actively try to fix the problem asap.

 

[Noelle610]

How often does this happen?

Consider a different perspective. If it's not often, maybe he was just frustrated and needed a night out. My DH and I tend to "take turns" on nights out and the break is really nice. At the end of the day, there's not much two people can do when taking care of a fussy baby... So why not just let each other relax when you can? I think if you both allow each other to take a break and let off some steam, you're more likely to be present and available when you're needed.

I know it's easier said than done. Sometimes I just want some emotional support when I'm going through a tough time with LO. I don't want DH to *do* anything, I just want him to tell me I'm doing a good job and that he understands that this is hard. By nature, men tend to be "problem solvers" - they want to get to the bottom of the issue and find the answer. It's harder for them to understand that we sometimes just need an ear or some support. I've had to explain this to my husband and he kind of gets it now. Your OH probably literally meant, "What can I do?" and was feeling frustrated because honestly? The answer is, "not much".

Hang in there! I know these phases are killer.

 

[Strike]

I know it seems a bit much for some that I expected him to come home, but I was just THAT frustrated and needed someone to spell off with for a bit that's all. Even if LO didn't settle, being able to step away for 15-20 minutes before heading back into the breach would have really helped me out.

DH usually goes out every couple of weeks for a drink with friends. Not a lot so I never begrudge him time away. But every other time I haven't had issues with LO. This was the first time that her fussiness and his need to go out coincided and I had to deal with it. I've never ever called him when he was out begging for him to come home to help out. LO is almost 9 months and this was the first time. I'm still pretty steamed about it.

On a positive note, she's starting to eat better again, although still no sign of top teeth.