Wanting to hide the pregnancy at work

[CandiceSj]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant now with my 3rd, so there's a bump. I often wore flowy, loose clothing so there hasn't been anything suspicious even if that ALL I wear now, but someday people will notice.

Part of me wants to just wait until then for it to become public knowledge, but that's an awkward way to go about it. I used to be close to my co-workers and announced my last pregnancy openly and happily, but I'm absolutely not close with them anymore so I just feel crappy about the idea of giving them the news as though they really deserve to know. They won't have anything positive to say, they'll just be upset at having to replace me while I'm gone or having to deal with a new girl if they hire (not sure what the company will do).

Just to give you an idea, last pregnancy I announced, and I was CLOSE with them, one of them, her first reaction was to make sure I'd told the boss first. Just to give you a more recent idea... A different co-worker they are not close with had a baby recently. So a co-worker who knows him more than them came to say he had a baby, the name, the weight and the other co-worker's reaction (one I don't want to announce my pregnancy to) was to say, "Sorry, but I really don't give a f***." and laughed as though it was stupid to tell her about it since she isn't close to the guy.

To add to that, this pregnancy was a surprise and I'm having a hard time fully accepting and embracing it myself and I don't want to deal with other people's comments when I don't even have as much confidence as I want with regards to the pregnancy.

Any advice or personal experience? What would you do?

 

[Scout]

I don't see the need to 'announce'. I mean, yes, I told immediate family and a few close friends, and the rest found out when it was obvious. (not til after I was 28 weeks). If I wasn't close with the people I worked with, I'd just go about my day as usual. I wouldn't try to hide it and I wouldn't bring it up. When they notice, they'll either ask or not.

 

[Angel_blues]

I agree with scout: don't try to hide it but don't announce it either. Sounds Luke the perfect compromise.

On another note who cares what she thinks! First worry about being happy for yourself then worry about how much you love your family. Nothing else matters!

 

[MemmaJ]

Agreed! I didn't 'announce' it to work colleagues until I was 18 weeks (and even then I chickened out and just did it via Facebook, not in person).
I didn't speak about it at work, didn't draw any attention to myself/my belly area (and I did have a bump, but you'll find people won't ask for fear of offending you if its not a bump!), didn't have any time off (despite feeling sick, I knew the rumour mill would start!) - just carried on completely as normal: and it must've worked, as everyone was pretty shocked when they found out!

 

[CandiceSj]

Thanks for your advice, you guys are great. I think I'm starting to feel more confident that this is my personal life, and I don't owe people explanations about it. I just need to grow in confidence about my life choices and the way I express myself - that's always been my problem.

I'll keep my path so far of having no real intention to "announce" it. I'll probably tell my boss in the next couple weeks and see how it goes for the rest and how I feel about it.

Some part of me is really excited about the growing family, I'm just so SICK I don't have the energy for actual happiness, I mostly end up feeling frustrated that I have to be sick all the time and so far unable to enjoy summer with my kids! lol