Was this a normal reaction?

[proudparent88]

So I am in my second trimester and now that I have a place to go and get advice I have something I want to ask. I was not trying to get pregnant by any means at all. Yes I was having sex obviously but it was not to get pregnant. I have severe mental health problems and I was admitted into a psychiatric ward the end of last july got out August 5th. While there they prescribed me a medication called triliptel which treats bipolar disorder. I was informed that it would mess up my BCP so I did what any normal person not trying to get pregnant would do I called planned parenthood as I knew they advertise free birth control and the one I needed was the non hormonal IUD Mirena. They wanted 250 dollars which when living on 730 dollars a month for four people and have rent and utilities ect to pay I couldn't afford. So I went and called my doctor and set up an appointment for a tubal. I am allergic to all types of condoms I have tried all of them out there and I just don't know what it is but I am allergic. So I couldn't get in to my doctor's office until October for the pre op appointment. Well we didn't stop having sex as well it's human I guess. But I missed my period which was not unusual for me as my cycles have always been odd and I have even had times where my periods stop for no reason and I need medication to get them started. The longer I went without getting it though I did get worried more so when someone brought it up to me so I bought test after test after test all of which came back negative. So on October 4th we moved into a new place and I still hadn't gotten my period but since all tests kept saying negative I figured it was stress or this problem I have had in the past. Then one day after we had moved I had to go to a local place in my area to get help with diapers for my son as the move had broke me completely. So I figured since I was going I would have them do another test which I figured would come back negative. So after we got there that was the first thing they did was give me the test. The woman came back and said "Nancy it came back positive right away." I was just devastated. I broke down into tears because I had just sold all of the baby stuff I had from my second son. I was terrified cause I had nothing and was so afraid after the problems I had during the pregnancy with my now 2 year old and even had the stress of I have two kids ages 2 and 4 and I have trouble dealing with the stress of them let alone adding another one I said "How am I going to do this I got rid of everything I have trouble dealing with the two I have how will I do it with three!?" Over time I came around to having another baby especially after the 20 week scan and I found out it was another boy. But I regret my reactions to this because I know some women never get this chance and I am lucky to be able to have it not just once but 3 times. Was my reaction normal or do I really have a reason to feel bad about the way I took the news?

 

[Mom2sam]

I think everyones sotuation is different & personal to them what you did was understandable reaction in ur circumstance. You just panicked & was a natural reaction in ur situation at the time. Dont feel bad & hope u & the boys & baby r all doing ok now x

 

[proudparent88]

Yes for the most part I have my days that are rough been having some cramps and bleeding but otherwise just fine.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Of course it's normal to freak out! Having a baby be it number 1 or number 7 can be a massive shock to the system, and given all the stress you were dealing with at the time of your bfp of course you would initially panic

 

[proudparent88]

I can understand that I just feel bad for acting like that as I love kids and I had been wanting another I just didn't want one this soon as my youngest is two and still in diapers. I am really excited now though.

 

[MgreenM]

I was in a complete state of panic when I first got my BFP! I am starting a new job at the end of the month and we just got a dog a few weeks ago. On top of that, I had decided since the new job is in the opposite direction of the old one and all of my doctors are by the old job that I would change all of my doctors (decision made before I found out). I am slowly accepting it (we were NTNP) and even starting to get a little excited. While this is something we wanted, we were really caught off guard by the timing especially since we didn't BD very much in December/early Jan. The great thing though, is that DH is very excited and I didn't expect him to be so excited and interested. He has been super supportive.

So I think your initial reaction is totally normal. We all do things in our own way and our own time. Don't be hard on yourself.