wee question bout ttc and family.

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by kristy87, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. kristy87

    kristy87 Well-Known Member

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    hey, just a wee question.

    anyone ttc quite young, im 21, been trying since 18years, now seeing fs with unexplained infertility.....

    was thinking bout it today as its all getting on top of me now, that maybe i should tell my mum. but i dont know how she would react, prob give us lecture about marriage (we are engaged have been for a year and a half, not set date yet) and being more financially settled - OH has his own business and is 26, i am a paediatric nurse, but we are still renting......

    any stories or opinions would be appreciated

    xxx
     
  2. Kellie

    Kellie TTC 1 after m/c June 08

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    At the end of the day hun, if you & your fiance feel ready to try for a baby, thats down to you. Other people can can give you their opinions & advice, but it's up to you if you want to take it on board. Just say to your Mum that you need her to understand & that you are ready to have a baby. No one else can tell you that your not.

    Me & my fiance are renting & we've been ttc for 5 months now. When I fell pregnant in April this year (ended in m/c) my fiances Mum suggested we get married before the baby was born, we both laughed our heads off. I'd never give up my dream of my big white wedding because thats what society expects.


    :hug:
     
  3. Debbie82

    Debbie82 Privileged Twin Mummy

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    It is tricky cos people can't help give their opinion..

    If you think it would help to be able to discuss things through with your mum then tell her, surely after 3 yrs trying she will understand you and OH have thought it through.

    You have a home (who needs a mortgage anyway), both have jobs and are engaged so everything is stable (what more does a child need).

    Even if you waited til you were married and owned your home, I am of the opinion there is always something else that would come up and give reason to hold off.

    My mum doesn't know I am TTC but I think if I were in your position I would tell her cos it is bound to help to have your mums support.

    :hug:
     
  4. Katia-xO

    Katia-xO Mummy to 1 & baking #2

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    Well i'm only 16, have started ttc so young as i have MANY fertility problems within my family and i don't want to leave it too late before starting to try. Everyone in my family has taken at least 2yrs to get pregnant (if at all - some are childless) after coming off the pill or havin the coil removed etc, so i wanted to give myself a head start so i've more chance of actually having a family in the future.

    Me + my OH are looking at renting a house, its just a case of finding 1 we like. I haven't told any family as i know they'd try to deter me even though they know i have a valid point (not many of em are supportive of anything i do).

    I've already been off the pill for 3months and nothing yet, so i can only assume that it's gona take a while before i start ovulating properly. Just think about it, no one is ever truly financially ready for a baby unless they are seriously rich! So ignore any financial opinions from anybody, the best thing to do would be to calculate how much it'd be to accomodate a baby per week and see whether you could afford one right now.

    Sorry if i haven't answered the question, it's just my story lol good luck with whatever you decide to do xx
     
  5. kristy87

    kristy87 Well-Known Member

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    thanks girls....

    one min i think oh maybe i should tell her, but then next min im like NO WAY. id only get a huge lecture !!!!!
     
  6. kristy87

    kristy87 Well-Known Member

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    infact id prob just get a huge lecture, and once my mum start about something theres no stopping her.....
     
  7. Kellie

    Kellie TTC 1 after m/c June 08

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    I've only been posting on here for the last week or so,but in that time I've found that talking to the girls on here is so helpful & takesa massive weight off my shoulders. I don't want to bother my Mum with this stuff as she's got her own issues at the moment & my friends like to talk about themselves alot lol.

    Maybe just try talking to people on here for a litte while & see if that helps. No one here will give you a lecture at all

    :hug:
     
  8. FsMummy

    FsMummy single mum to 4 cuties

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    hey, im 21 atm. i have a 19 month old daughter who was born when i was 19 (turned 20 2 months later, exactly 2 cos we both born on the 2nd). therefore i do not think you are too young as me and my OH werent married either and we are still together and a really happy little family! we are actually going to start ttc #2 early nxt year. i doubt your mum would feel the same as i do tho lol. i just think it is up to you to decide when you are ready that kind of commitment. my daughter was not planned but as soon as i had my 1st scan i was delighted and knew i was going to have her. i didnt care what other people thought and was proud of mybig ol' bump. as long as you are sure in your heart that this is the right choice then you should go for i, your mum might take a while getting used to it but she will have to come to terms with it. maybe you should wait to tell her until u are pg that way shed not be able to try and talk you out of it!
     
  9. lindak

    lindak Well-Known Member

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    I am 26 and with my partner for 7 years he is 36 , we have a mortgage and that has changed nothing from when we rented! But seriously In my opinion like someone else said that there always going to be something! I havent told my parents either my mum had me when she was 19 and although I know she will come around to the idea once I tell her im pregnant I know her initial reaction will be dont do it ! Because in her eyes I am her baby!! So I have planned to only tell her once I have found out I am pregnant, Although I personally think If I was having trouble conceiving I dont think I could keep it from her, I actually think she would know there was something wrong with me ! But it is at the end of the day your choice.

    :hug:
     
  10. mrsmab

    mrsmab TTC No 1 since Jan 2008

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    Hi Huni!
    Im also 21 and have been trying for 7 months and no :bfp: yet. We also rent ut are happy and have been married for nearly 2 months. We havnt told parents yet in case it didnt happen and we had to go through treatment etc. We didnt want them too involved as my mum particularly tends to interfere in things like that and alsways thinks the worst.
    Hope you get your :bfp: soon.

    :hug:
     
  11. K477uk

    K477uk Mum of One!

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    I think if it is getting on top of you then you prob need to talk to someone as the stress can't be healthly. Prehaps after the lecture you would get a hug? I know that would make me feel better....

    It's not very helpful I know!

    *Big hugs*
     
  12. joeyjo

    joeyjo Mum to 2boys, growing #3

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    I'm not telling my mum yet. We've only just started trying - not doing anything "scientific" yet just BDing :sex: more especially midcycle and we've thrown out the protection! I have no concerns that she wouldn't support me, only this evening I nearly had to scream down the phone to stop asking about when we were going to try!
    I'm 28 and DH is 36. We live abroad and although DH has a great job I found the language barrier a bit of a problem although I am working parttime and taking german lessons. Anyway suffice to say mum thinks this career break is the perfect time to have a baby, as do I! :shhh:
    Couldn't face the inquisitions and constant questions if it takes a while though so keeping quiet for now.

    Was quiet funny though as I tried to come up with excuses why we should wait. Then I commented I wasn't that old yet to have to worry and that everything seemed to work each month she said "How would you know, you've been on the pill for years!" DOH :dohh: I made excuse about my last USS a year ago and everything looked good!! I have scans coz I had a really large ovarian cyst a few years ago and had similar abdominal discomfort but it was nothing.

    WOW long post, sorry and I know its a bit off topic but, I love her but she drives me mad at times!
     

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