Welcome Home Baby Party +

[Eccleston2011]

So my husband and I are planning a welcome home baby party after Baby B is here. We have decided to stay team yellow this time and will not be announcing the name of the baby until it is born. Sooo we thought it would be a good idea to announce the name and gender of the baby the day of the party. My Mom got upset about this idea, she said its rude and not practical.


I also decided to not allow anyone in the hospital the first day or two, so we have time to bond with the baby and again I got that I'm being completely rude.

Was she just over reacting or am I totally monster mom?

 

[J_Lynn]

I told my mom and my immediate family not to even bother attempting to come by for at least 2 weeks after the baby is born. I don't want to deal with them and I just want my husband and I to hang out with the baby - I care 0% about how any of them feel about it either. In fact when my mom pitched a fit, I told her: "Oh shut up with the pity party - this is MY child that I have to push out of MY vagina. So guess what that means? That means I don't need your shit, I'm an adult and you can deal with it or you can just stay mad - either way won't change my mind"

So yeah. Who cares if they think it's rude. Do what you want to do - it's you and your hubby's time, not anyone else's.


Side note: I really do see why people say I'm an unreasonable bitch sometimes lol

 

[Xpecta]

Honestly, it's your decision. I don't think it's rude to want bonding time. You are perfectly allowed to make those kinds of decisions. I can see why she may be upset by it, but it's not her decision. She can choose to be excited for it, or she can choose to be negative about it, but don't let her choices affect what you want or feel you want to do. Enjoy your time!

 

[supertabby]

I see nothing wrong with wanting a day or 2 to yourselves before getting visitors.

I would think it was a bit weird if the baby was born but gender was still being kept secret until the party (no issues with parents knowing gender in pregnancy and keeping it secret). If that was a relative of mine I'd find it strange and maybe a bit disappointing since I'd like to buy a gender specific card and gift (knowing that the parents probably only have unisex stuff so far). I wouldn't express this to the parents though because I think it's mean to upset someone who's just had a baby, they've got enough on their plate. Secretly though I'd find it strange/off putting.

We found out the gender this pregnancy and have let family in on it - I'd have been happy to just tell them but hubby wanted to play a game so told everyone our 2 year old knew the gender so you had to get it out of her if you wanted to know. People thought that was odd and that's before the birth.

 

[HappyHome]

I think most people would probably just like to know the name/sex before so they buy something specific rather than anything.
It is indeed your decision but if I was invited I think I'd like to know just on that basis.
Good luck xx

 

[CT125]

Am I right in thinking family will be told the gender when LO is born, just not the name until the party? I think that's ok, maybe unconventional but so what?

 

[Nelle84]

We're doing similar, though we know he's a boy, and its not secret but not common knowledge.
But we wont name him til he's here and we'll probably nest and bond for a couple of weeks then do a breakfast BBQ party at the park to celebrate (will be hot here in Aus so means its cooler and noone has to see the state of the house!) and announce the name then. Immediate family will probably know once we've decided, as they all live overseas anyway so no way they could come to the BBQ! With a proviso that we want to be the ones to share the news. Theyre pretty good at keeping secrets so it should be fine.

We'll probably say presence is present etc but if you really want to buy something please get us a book to grow his library. Avoids the gender issue and the piles of clothes that wont get worn.

 

[Butterball Ma]

I wouldn't personally keep the gender a secret. I feel a lot differently than many women on this site regarding "ownership," though. I know we're the parents and our decisions win, but I also believe in a large family and community support system. By asking friends and family to celebrate with you, I feel that means we've invited them in a bit. I understand restricting visitors at first, but would never understand keeping involved grandparents away. You will bond with baby, no matter that its gma gets to hold him/her in the first day or 2. Back to the party, which is a nice idea btw, if you want a surprise, I'd limit it to just the name. Everyone's waited this long to find out the gender, it would be weird for people to hear about the birth without a gender to go along. I mean how long after birth are you planning the party? 1 week, 2 weeks? It would be pretty impractical to hide the gender that long, imo.

 

[Eccleston2011]

Thanks Ladies, I appreciate all the opinions. DH and I discussed this and we wanted to be fair to everyone and announce it to everyone at once, but we quickly realized that all it's going to do is cause more frustration for us, and after three bad reactions in a row, a lot of hurt feelings. So we will be telling everyone when the baby is born what the gender and name is, as a compromise. We will still be having the party though and going to come up with something special to do there.

I still won't be having anyone at the hospital at first. We had a bad experience with my daughter when she was taken from the C-section straight to the NICU, I didn't get to even have a glimpse of her for almost four hours and after everyone in our family had insisted on seeing her. Then family would show up unannounced at the worse times, including 7 in the morning before I was even released to go down to the Nicu. They would show up without a ride home until late in the evening. On top of all of that while we would be trying to talk to the doctor about what's wrong with our child, they would stand right in the middle and loudly make it clear that they were upset that she had to have more tests done and that they wanted her to go home. The stress of them there was too much and I frankly don't want to deal with them...

Also I had a really hard time bonding with Grace, It seemed like I never had time alone with her other than really late at night when I was half asleep. So it's important to me to be able to bond the first day or two because it's going to be hard when we get home especially with a toddler.