Ok, So i'm "pregnant after a loss".... Neo Natal Death (baby died 7hours old) and a miscarriage. I'm finding being pregnant after miscarriage easier to deal with, than being pregnant after actually seeing my baby die after birth. Hope that doesn't offend anyone. I sometimes have days where I feel completely fine. other days I really struggle to come to terms. I worry that I won't love this baby as much as Jessica (my first, the baby who died). Most days I don't feel maternal in the slightest towards the pregnancy, but I wonder if that's me subconsciously detaching myself cuz of the worry it'll happen again. My m/c was detected at 7+5 but had happened before then. I'm over that mark now and feel alright. Aside from the morning sickness killing me. I struggle to eat cuz of it now. I'm under a Consultant Obsteotrician this time, aswell as a midwife like normal pregnancies, but the midwife cant do anything basically, Consultant says jump and she says 'how high'. I have regular check ups which is good, helps to put my mind at ease. Though I don't get excited for the scans etc like some do, cuz I see it for what it is, it's not 'a chance to see my baby', its 'checking my babys alive and ok'. With marrying a Soldier on 1st February 2010, I'll then me under the Army's Medical care, where by I get full private health care, so do any children, and also the best education money can provide. So hopefully if I receive good health care, this baby should be fine. Have a house move coming up as well, moving from South Shields (near Newcastle), to Catterick Army Garrison with Shane. And this is all before March it seems, as Shane goes to Afghan in March because he's a Frontline Signaller with the Army. I hope baby kicks before he goes, so he at least gets a chance to feel that. I'm really worried about him going, but I don't show that to him, I don't want him to worry more than he has to. A lot of stress, lots going on, so little time.... Just hope this little baby can hang in there for a little while longer til it all settles down.