were you one of 3 kids?

[Septie]

I recently had a D&C after our 3rd pregnancy failed. And now we keep reconsidering if we should try again.
Why would we (especially myself, OH would go along) want another kid: More love all around - life is so much more fun with kids. I also looooove babies and young kids (bit worried about the teenage years lol).
Some issues:
We have two healthy, wonderful kids already. We might not be so lucky again.
Next year, we'd really have time with our second (currently a bit over 2.5) while our first (now 4.5) is in kindergarten until 3pm, before he starts full-time pre-k the year after. So he'd finally get that one on one attention. A new baby (if we got pregnant right away) would ruin that in the winter and spring. I am also thinking on looking for a new job in the fall, which might not work so well being visibly pregnant. So we are considering waiting a few months. Does that make sense, even given my advanced maternal age (almost 40)?
More long term, I am also worried about the effects, on our second especially, as our time will be more limited - help with homework for instance. Or teaching him reading and writing in our native languages. I don't think our first would be very much affected in that regard, as I expect he'll breeze through school (he is already reading in 2 languages with barely any encouragement). Basically, if you are a middle child, did you feel neglected? What about a third kid? Our boys are best buddies - a much younger third might feel left out...
And even more long-term: I am almost 40, OH is already into his 40's...We'd be 60ish by the time #3 graduates high school. What if something happens to us before then? The other spouse would have to manage 3 kids alone... We do not have any family nearby, and our parents are too old to help.
Financial issues are not a consideration. Though I guess traveling for pleasure might be an issue - we hate traveling even with only 2 young ones.
Any views, experiences etc. are much appreciated. This decision is agonizing. If I weren't so old, I'd simply take some more time to make up my mind.

 

[overcomer79]

I have 3. Just had my third. I wouldn't change it. My daughter is the middle and didn't get all that one on one time but she is the apple because she's the only daughter and only granddaughter on both sides. You would make it work. My oldest doesn't start school unil 2015 (he missed the cut off by 2 days!). I work full time and we manage.

 

[Misstrouble19]

im one of 3.. im actually the middle one

 

[SarahP13]

I'm the middle of three and have never felt bad about it. I'm close to both my parents and to my older brother and younger sister. Sure there were times I didn't get much attention as my brother needed it (profoundly deaf) and my sister was the baby but I had a really close relationship with my mum and don't feel like it had a negative impact on my childhood.

We're actually planning to have a third ourselves. If you feel you want one then I say go for it!

 

[Misstrouble19]

I personally don't want 3, i always wanted 2 and then i'm set for life xx

 

[Banshee]

I am the middle child of three and I never felt like I got less attention or support from my parents and it certainly had no detrimental impact on my education that I can tell. I love being one of three and wanted three myself until finances got in the way.

 

[kspey]

Stalking!

 

[Bex84]

I am the middle out of 3, i wasent upset about it as little sis came when i was about 2 1/2 so i didnt know much different and was used to sharing my parents with big sister. I did have a bit of middle child syndrome but it was more i had different interests to my sisters and my parents held my sisters interests in higher regard (i loved history, reading, politics, social issues and what i studied reflected that where as my sisters both love sciences which my parents felt was involving more intelligence) my dad made a few comments over choice of degree, i had low self esteme so it did effect me. My little sister got away with more as she had a temper but to be honest i never felt resentful and i love both my sisters. As we grew up in sticks they were my best friends as well as no other children around. I wouldent change being one out of three. My issues were more of a differing personality. I actually trained in end to something very simular to my mum so we have more in common now. I never felt i got less attention. I struggled with reading at start of school which later found out was due to dyslexia and if it hadent been for parents help i would have really struggled alot more. My parents made time for all of us. I even shared a small room with both my sisters and i never resented it so i would say go for it. I love that i had ready made friends

 

[Elljo3]

I'm the youngest of 3 and I have 3 x

 

[kayleigh1985]

I'm a middle child of 3. I do have an issue with middle child syndrome even now at 28! But I get on well with both my parents and love my brother and sister to bits, my sister is 5 years younger and is like my best mate. Because of the way I felt growing up I always knew 2 would be enough for me.

 

[bumpbear]

.

 

[lau86]

Yes I'm the middle of 3 and am planning 3, there's no better endorsement than that surely?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Yep, I'm one of 3 and would love to have 3. I'm the middle child. For me it was great. I never felt cheated out of 1:1 time with my mum (SAHM) although I always had at least one of my brothers at home with me before starting school- I still got plenty of attention and to be honest as a child the company of another child was more desirable than the company of an adult. I found the transition to school easy as I was used to sharing my mums time and I feel like I got a good deal as the middle child- I was never lonely. Age wise, I can see why it is a concern but you never know what life holds- you could be a sprightly 90 year old! My parents were in their mid-late 30's when they had us (I think 38 when they had my younger brother?) so not that much of 40 and they are hands on grandparents and still have the energy to chase after them.

 

[emyandpotato]

I was (sort of) one of three. I am the eldest of the three of my mums kids and we're all close in age. I have an older sister and did have an older brother from my dad's first marriage but the age gap is huge. Also grew up from age 5 with an adopted sister but she was 5 years older and wasn't treated in the same way. So, in short, yes one of three.

I have always said I wouldn't have three. Especially not close in age and the same gender. I hated it. I hated being left out, with the younger two always being very close and me not being involved and various other things. But I had an unusual upbringing and I know a lot of families with three work really well.

 

[misspriss]

I'm the middle of 3 and never felt like I was lacking any attention.

My mom was also 40 when she had our 3rd. I'd say sooner rather than later though, I was 2 years apart from my older sister and we were great friends. My younger sister was 6 years younger than me, and we didn't have much of a relationship until she was in high school, much to my regret she's an awesome person to be with.

 

[scoobydrlp]

I'm the youngest of 3 and feel fine about it. I never felt neglected by my parents. Looking back on things I probably didn't get as much attention from them as someone who was an only child, but growing up with a brother and sister is irreplacable. I wouldn't change it.

 

[BethanyNBump]

I have two older brothers. I would not trade my experiences with them for the world.

The younger of the two used to pick fights with me and torment me, but this made me stronger.
The eldest of my brothers was my savior and we are still very close.

 

[LynseyPynsey]

I'm one of 3 although my sister and I are twins so slightly different!

 

[aimee-lou]

While neither my husband nor I are 1 of 3, we always wanted 3 children. I would say that keeping them close-ish together is the key as I've heard no end of people complain about that 3rd 'surprise' sibling spoiling things lol. My MIL is the middle of 3 but with a 7 year gap between her and her younger sister and she openly says it was horrid as she was expected to baby-sit constantly and didn't really enjoy her sister's company until much later on in life. My dad was one of 3, he was the eldest and was 21 years and 21 days older than his little brother! They thought he was the menopause and my grandma was 47 when she had him!!! Unfortunately I never met my Grandma (understand my Dad was born in 1927 so she died a long time before I was even thought of!) but my Dad always said that bruce was the apple of everyone's eye being the baby of the family. My Dad went on to have 4 children from his 1st marriage and then me so it can't have affected him too deeply! lol

The reason we wanted 3 is so that there's always someone to keep them company, even if the other is not in the mood. We have less than 4 years between our 3 so they will grow up close and already they are very bonded to one another. I didn't want an only child (like me) as it's lonely and a lot of responsibility later in life. Hubby didn't want 2 if we could help it as he was one of a pigeon pair and he said it was a nightmare as he had nothing in common with his sister and they still are not close. We considered staying at 2 when we had a 2nd boy but we felt the pull towards a 3rd. We would probably go on and have a 4th if money and logistics were no object but we're very happy with the dynamic they have.

 

[MumToEva]

Middle of 3 here, and have nothing but good things to say about my childhood. But then I was the only girl - I think sometimes more than 1 girl can make things more difficult, they either seem to be really close or fight the bit out. Plus the 3 of us are all quite different personalities so maybe that helped too.

Have 2 at the minute, but would love to have 4, with a couple of years between the first set of 2 and the second set of 2.