What annoys and upsets you most about TTC?

[Lyrah]

Mine is this..

Having a test done at the drs/hospital and them turning around to you with the results saying 'nope, you're not pregnant!' as if it's the easiest thing in the world to take in. It's the way they say it.. I can't explain, but they say it as if it is nothing.

Another thing..

This happened to me a couple of months ago when I went to the hospital for 17days of bleeding.
'Ok we've done a pregnancy test, the results are negative you'll be glad to hear, I bet you're over the moon about that!'

And people saying this..

'You're young, you've got years to try!'



What annoys/upsets you most about TTC?

 

[chefamy1122]

What annoys me the most.....I would probably say it has to be a tie--

People who have NO IDEA as to the issues I have (lack of AF, lack of ovulation, hostile cervical mucus, etc) feeling the need to make idiotic comments like "Oh maybe you are just doing it wrong" or "I skipped one pill and was not even trying to get pregnant and if I got pregnant, you can too" or my personal favorite "Are you sure you want to take fertility drugs, you are going to end up with a litter" and so on.......
Also, it seems like the longer this whole journey takes, the more people that I have every day contact with seem to get pregnant, most of them with very little effort!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Lyrah]

What annoys me the most.....I would probably say it has to be a tie--

People who have NO IDEA as to the issues I have (lack of AF, lack of ovulation, hostile cervical mucus, etc) feeling the need to make idiotic comments like "Oh maybe you are just doing it wrong" or "I skipped one pill and was not even trying to get pregnant and if I got pregnant, you can too" or my personal favorite "Are you sure you want to take fertility drugs, you are going to end up with a litter" and so on.......
Also, it seems like the longer this whole journey takes, the more people that I have every day contact with seem to get pregnant, most of them with very little effort!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Awww honey I'm so sorry!!! Big big to you.

Those are terrible things to say to you

 

[Jessa]

There are three things that annoy/upset me most about TTC.....

1) The worry that I'll have another miscarriage. It's constantly in the back of my mind that when we get pregnant again, I'll end up having another one and don't know whether I'd be able to cope well.

2) The waiting and uncertainty. I wish it would just happen, but I suppose that everyone TTC feels like that.

3) How insensitive some people are. Before my miscarriage, I didn't really think anything of it when someone said to me, "So, you guys have been married awhile now. When are you going to get pregnant?". Now, that same questions makes me cringe and get a bit annoyed. I want to say to them, "Well, hello....We're trying here!". I will never EVER ask someone that question because you never know what someone is going through and how hard it is sometimes.

Thanks for the opportunity to go on a mini rant, Lyrah!

 

[Lyrah]

Awww bless you hun, some people can be so insensitive can't they!

No probs for the opportunity to rant I'm worried incase this thread gets all of you girls down.. but I'm doing it so we can all listen to one another and get a better understanding of each other. That way, we can all help each other as much as possible.

 

[MsLynn225]

I dont like the wait to know the news!!. . . I dislike the fact, how the hospital/doctor speaks to me.. '' Okay Ur comin in for a Test?'' ..." oh boy ur such a young lady, you wouldnt want this huge burden on ur shoulders" ... Im like '' I didn't ask for you opinion I asked you for a prego test.'' ... Like How rude can they be??? They make me wanna jump over the counter and choke them!! grrr....

&& with my last m/c...they always mention it and how i got over it, inorder for me to be TTC again..... well am I not supposed too?????.. grrr

 

[MayMay]

the feeling that I have ZERO control over my own damn body! Since I'm a dancer I control everything my body does with ease but this... I can't control. I can't MAKE myself ovulate, I can't MAKE the stupid sperm meet my dumb egg, and I can't MAKE the bean stick! It's so frustrating!!!
and it sucks that I can't control OH's body too!

 

[babiiblu]

Well....lets see, so many of you have already touched on the big ones.
My biggest one is that it the people who are "trash" and seem to get PG the easiest....the ones who do it for the $$ from the gov't...know what I mean? Seems like every time you turn around they're popping out another one and here we are trying so desperately to have babies that we would do whatever it took.
I agree about the "oh I missed one pill" thing too....or the ones who "got lucky" from one night stands (like my SIL)....
It just makes things more stressful!!

 

[emilyandkai]

I annoys me the most is the waiting and wondering definatly!
There have been a few months when I have convinced myself that this was it and when af shows you feel like your heart fell out.
So now I always think negative lol.
When you see pregnant women or newborns and feel jealous, then feel bad for feeling jealous!
xx

 

[celine]

One biggest issues were people asking if I am pg yet, I get soo annoyed it not that easy OK??

Also fear of misscarriage

I have super long cycles so I hated when af started Id have to wait so long before I really could try again.

 

[Lyrah]

I completely agree with all of you.

I definately think insensitivity is one of the worst ones.. people just don't care what they say to others! It's really awful.

People don't seem to understand this is what we want. Yet, they still try to put us down about it as much as possible with all the negative comments. We didn't ask them for an opinion. This is our life, and we will do what we want.

 

[honey08]

im always worrying whenwe do get our will i mc again ? as i did with my first ever bfp...mc in march08,so upetting,then people will say "uv lots of time4 another" or "just relax it will appen" lol im a true beliver of this,but how can u relax till uknow u defo O and dh sperms fine,then u worry thinking well why aint it appeneing then ! when i did get pg, we werent ttc,but werent preventing,never thought for 1min it wud happen! we werent bd timing,i didnt know when/if i O,we didnt take all the vits etc, and now were tryin to give the baby the best safe start and it just aint wrking!!! i knowi wil get a soon, just feeling really sure of it, but wether wether i will mc again is another stress,praying of course that i wont, but yeah this is my main worry

 

[Lyrah]

 

[bluey]

For me it's the uncertainty of it all. All these years I was taking the pill - now we've been trying for what feels lke ages and it's not happening I wonder did I ever even need to use birth control?!!

Also, as MayMay said on the previous page, it's the lack of control. You can chart and monitor and bd (ALL THE TIME!!!) and do everything 100% right and your chances of conceiving are still only one in five!!! It's like rolling a dice every month, and it doesn't matter how many months you've been rolling that dice, your chances of rolling that six are still the same. AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

 

[babytots]

for me its the dissaproving comments we get from family.

when i fall pg with my 3rd i didnt tell my mum until i was actualy m/c as i knew what she would of said. she wasnt happy that i fall pg with dd2 so soon after dd1 was born so i thought she would be the same.

then when i fell pg with my 4th i told my mum straightaway and i got oh leigh your putting your body under to much strain , you should of waited to give your body time to heal etc etc. eh excuse me my body my choice!

no one apart from my online friends and a few others know we are ttc again and we arent telling anyone til we get to 12 weeks.

i also hate the waiting. waiting around to ov waiting to see if we get bfp or and then if no we start the whole process over and over again.

and lastly the fear of m/c again. x

 

[florentinella]

For me it's when people ask me - "you are getting old, how long are you going to wait?"
we had to wait with TTC, but I feel it's my private thing, I dont necessarily want to share this with everyone (it's so much easier to share it here

And the other thing is what babiiblu said - people who dont want to get pregnant, one night stands etc just get it right straigh away, and those who really long for a baby - sometimes struggle... bit unfair...

I'm trying to stay positive cause it's only our 2nd cycle, but am scared how I will cope if it will take us a long time...

 

[rachelle1975]

I think my biggest fear is that we won't get pregnant - that the IVF won't work.

People's insensitve comments comes a close second - assuming it's easy TTC when it isn't! If one more person tells me to have a holiday and we will fall pregnant i might lamp them one! i'm not normally a violent person honest

And despite my friend having fertility treatment she still comes out with the classic line 'well be thankful, it took me 4 years to get a diagnosis'... yep... you are right... it's all about you!

Ah bitter and twisted? moi? never!!

 

[Jolinar]

I too am finding other people difficult to deal with. It's hard enough without someone sticking in their no doubt well meaning two penneth worth, but its even worse when the comments come from someone who has no idea what it feels like to desperately want a child and the bitter disappointment each month when the negative results appear.

I've taken my chart down for that very reason, I don't want anyone seeing it and commenting on it.

 

[Lyrah]

I know exactly where all you girls are coming from.

I really hate it when people think they know what it's like.

When you say you want something so badly and they say something like 'it'll happen when it happens'
Yes.. maybe, but I want that to be soon, I don't want to be kept waiting and waiting!

Unless someone is TTC, nobody knows the true pain of the huge desire to have a child.


It's frustrating isn't it?

 

[TigerLady]

I have a coworker who recently feel pg w/o trying. She only had one functioning ovary, She was on the ring (bc), had 2 periods in one month, and STILL fell pg that month (the bean somehow hung on through one of those AFs!). She was devestated for 2 months. She looked at that BFP every morning for a week and cried, not because she was happy. She didn't want to be pg. The only reason I don't hate her is b/c she felt (and still does) horribly guilty that she got pg w/o trying and she knows so many who want it so bad and can't seem to make it happen.

My 2 biggest issues....


1. The fear of not knowing what the future will hold. I'm terrified that something is wrong. For some reason I have ALWAYS thought I would have trouble having kids. And now, slowly, it is becoming reality. What may be wrong??? Is it fixable??? If it is, can I afford to fix it??? Treatments are SO costly and not covered by insurance. If not, can I afford to adopt??? Will I ever be able to know what it is like to be pg?? Will my OH? Will I deny that to him, too??? Is this the one thing in life I am fated to fail at completely??

2. I agree with Bluey and MayMay totally -- lack of control and roll of the dice. I always laugh when you read your chances of concieving depend (in part) on how long you've been trying. WRONG! A basic stat course teaches it doesn't matter how many times you roll that dice, the chances off getting that 6 is the SAME every time, forever. I've always been the type that as soon as I decide to do something, I do immediately and well (can you say Type A?!?!) This I can't. It's weird.

All the rude, insenstive comments is one reason why my OH and I haven't told hardly ANYone that were are TTC. Only a couple of trusted and close family members who are sensitive to what we are going through.

to EVERYone on this difficult road! At least we have each other!!