What annoys and upsets you most about TTC?

[moomoo]

a girl at work only wanting a baby as an accessory and to trap her oh..and then i have a m/c and she still goes on about how she wont be able to keep up with the jones's when baby is born! some people are sooooo ungrateful!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lyrah]

1. The fear of not knowing what the future will hold. I'm terrified that something is wrong. For some reason I have ALWAYS thought I would have trouble having kids. And now, slowly, it is becoming reality. What may be wrong??? Is it fixable??? If it is, can I afford to fix it??? Treatments are SO costly and not covered by insurance. If not, can I afford to adopt??? Will I ever be able to know what it is like to be pg?? Will my OH? Will I deny that to him, too??? Is this the one thing in life I am fated to fail at completely??

I am exactly the same as you with this. I think it every single day, as though it is too good to be true, so it will never happen for me. It's incredibly painful having those thoughts and feelings, it really is.

xxxxxxxx

 

[CarrieB]

The fact that before we were TTC we didn't know anyone who was pregnant. Since TTC 4 couples I know are expecting, and I hate the resentment I feel towards them for it and the feeling of inferiority I get because I'm not pg yet even though we've only been trying a few months!! Even worse, the way I feel about it is all on me it's not like anyone else is trying to make me feel bad about it!!

 

[Lyrah]

 

[susan_1981]

What annoys me the most is ppl saying "Well you wait till you have a baby and have all those sleepless nights". That annoys me more than anything. It's always ppl who have kids that say it and it's so patronising. If it was so bad, why would ppl get pregnant in the first place???

 

[moomoo]

Oh i have another one...the feeling that you are failing at doing a basic thing your body is made to be able to do!! i hate that feeling

 

[aries5486]

what i hated the most was after my m/c we told a few family members and the response was "you werent actually trying were you" i would say actually we were for just under 2 years "oh" would be the reply. Now we are wanting to try again i get "you arent going to try for another one are you" Well yes we are " oh right, well it just might be you cant carry children and it isnt meant to be!!!" some ppl are so annoying, and now to top it off my sister in law knowing i have had a m/c and her saying no i dont want another child has annocing they are also ttc!!! Rant over pmsl!!

 

[TigerLady]

so many ppl just have NO clue how hurtful they can be with such simple words. If only they would THINK before they spoke!

 

[Chris77]

My frustration and upsetment comes from the fact that my cycles are so irregular and whacky. And another thing...why do we have millions of eggs if we're only going to release 1 MAYBE 2 per month? What's up with that? Why can't we release one every day? This way I don't have to wait 21 day until the next ovulation! And another thing, since nature isn't going to change and we're not going to be releasing more than 1 egg, why does it have to take so dang LONG to conceive?? I mean really, you'd think nature would find a better way for us humans. Okay, sorry, I'm done.

 

[Mrs T]

1. I also hate it that everyone says just relax it, will happen when your not trying.
2. when af turns up late... just because she can, after getting all your hopes up!
3. the back to square one feeling when your af arrives.... "will it ever happen for us" feeling.

baby dust to us all

 

[TigerLady]

And another thing...why do we have millions of eggs if we're only going to release 1 MAYBE 2 per month? What's up with that? Why can't we release one every day? This way I don't have to wait 21 day until the next ovulation! And another thing, since nature isn't going to change and we're not going to be releasing more than 1 egg, why does it have to take so dang LONG to conceive?? I mean really, you'd think nature would find a better way for us humans. Okay, sorry, I'm done.

Perfect tantrum! I love it. On the other side... it could be worse. Most mammals are only fertile 1 or two times per year. Or we could be like elephants and be preggers for 22 months!!! Talk about a long wait!

 

[jk28]

My worst one is the feeling that I'll never experience what it's like to be a mother, I have this real nagging feeling that I'll never hold my own baby, deep & dark I know, but it's the way I feel. Also on the list is the same as the other ladies, NO control over my stupid body, fear of mc for the 3rd time, more prodding & poking & IVF drugs...the list is endless....oh yea & insensitive stories as have already been posted. After 5yrs ttc think I've heard every story going....apparently all I need to do after you know what is lay on my back with my legs crossed, jees if only I'd thought of that one.....I'd have one large family!! Hee hee

Love Jayne x

 

[Nathyrra]

Since I was a little girl I've had this horrible feeling that I can't have children. I have no idea why.

The worst part of TTC so far for me is just having zero faith in my body to do what it's supposed to do. I get scared to feel positive, It's easier for me to be pessimistic, if that makes any sense.

 

[chefamy1122]

Oh i have another one...the feeling that you are failing at doing a basic thing your body is made to be able to do!! i hate that feeling

This is a HUGE one for me too!

 

[Farie]

I have a couple of gripes .....

1) Any sentence containing the words "when the time is right" ...
2) The feeling of utter helplessness ... we do everything right and still nada .... WHY????
3) The awful feeling of time slowly slipping away, there is nothing I can do about it but I feel like I have lost months of this year in a weird charting, counting TTC haze ....

*oppsss that was 3 ..*

 

[mrsmcnamara]

My 2 biggest issues....


1. The fear of not knowing what the future will hold. I'm terrified that something is wrong. For some reason I have ALWAYS thought I would have trouble having kids. And now, slowly, it is becoming reality. What may be wrong??? Is it fixable??? If it is, can I afford to fix it??? Treatments are SO costly and not covered by insurance. If not, can I afford to adopt??? Will I ever be able to know what it is like to be pg?? Will my OH? Will I deny that to him, too??? Is this the one thing in life I am fated to fail at completely??

2. I agree with Bluey and MayMay totally -- lack of control and roll of the dice. I always laugh when you read your chances of concieving depend (in part) on how long you've been trying. WRONG! A basic stat course teaches it doesn't matter how many times you roll that dice, the chances off getting that 6 is the SAME every time, forever. I've always been the type that as soon as I decide to do something, I do immediately and well (can you say Type A?!?!) This I can't. It's weird.

All the rude, insenstive comments is one reason why my OH and I haven't told hardly ANYone that were are TTC. Only a couple of trusted and close family members who are sensitive to what we are going through.

to EVERYone on this difficult road! At least we have each other!!

You've said PERFECTLY what I've been trying to express. It's a bit hard to put into words, but I can especially relate to the "feeling" that you've always had about having trouble getting pregnant. -I have experienced this same fear for all my life...and here I am, having trouble and So desperately discouraged. I feel so guilty all the time for feeling jealous when I see someone else with a baby! The only thing I can add to what I hate has already been expressed, but for me it is mainly :

* Rude, insensitive people who put in their two (and three) cents! I've already harped on this topic before but it remains the same...I am SO sick of people saying, "oh, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen. Just relax." or,"you're trying too hard." Or my alltime favorite one was when a co-worker told me that it's too soon to TTC because my husband and I have only been married since June. (but we've been together for 3 years)---gee, thanks

So, it never ceases to amaze me how simple it's always seemed to get pregnant when in reality it's not simple at all. I have SO many friends who fell pregnant and didn't want a baby, - I even have a friend who STILL didn't want the baby after she'd actually had her. (Now she's fine because the baby ended up being her idea of "pretty" once she got to be around 6months old.)

The best thing about this site is being able to express these feelings without feeling guilty and judged, and to know that there are other women out there who know EXACTLY what I'm going through and can relate. Thank you all so much! God Bless!

 

[mrsmcnamara]

what i hated the most was after my m/c we told a few family members and the response was "you werent actually trying were you" i would say actually we were for just under 2 years "oh" would be the reply. Now we are wanting to try again i get "you arent going to try for another one are you" Well yes we are " oh right, well it just might be you cant carry children and it isnt meant to be!!!" some ppl are so annoying, and now to top it off my sister in law knowing i have had a m/c and her saying no i dont want another child has annocing they are also ttc!!! Rant over pmsl!!

Jeez, that is so horrible. I don't understand how rude and awful people are sometimes! I don't get it- I mean, I would NEVER say that to anyone!. Keep your head up girl. God Bless

 

[todteach]

The thing that upsets me the most is not being pregnant.

There are so many girls that are pregnant right now at my work. One that is due in a week, just a few weeks before my EDD.(i love her, don't get me wrong, i just wish that i was pregnant with her) And now many many more are announcing their pregnancies. It just hurts, when will it be my turn?

I'm literally surrounded by pregnancies and newborns, as I work in a daycare centre where we are all around the same age. Lots of the girls have recently given birth, or are complaining about their pregnancy symptoms. I would give anything to be pregnant right now, stop giving me your complaints!

 

[Lyrah]

It's weird how before we're all TTC etc, we don't notice other pregnant women or anything.. but as soon as we are absolutely desperate for a baby, all of these pregnant women pop up around us everywhere, it's crazy!

I'm so happy for these women because it is such a blessing.. but at the same time, I get soo jealous and upset over it.. and then I feel so guilty for feeling like that way.. but I can't help it, it's just what happens with me.

It's horrid. What kills me more is that we were TTC.. and now we've had to take 2 steps back and are now back at square one.. and I've got to wait almost 2 years to get my little miracle. It's crushing and I cannot bare thinking about the long wait when I have already waited 2 years to TTC. I feel like I'm going to be waiting forever, and even then.. I'm terrified I won't be able to concieve. It's scary and I think it is breaking me down piece by piece every single day.

I don't think I have ever wanted anything this much ever, ever before. My whole heart desires this so so much and I would give absolutely anything to get my baby. I've never been pregnant and I'd love to experience it, it really hurts so much.

Wow sorry for the rant there, just had to get it all off my chest!

 

[TigerLady]

It's heartening to know we are not alone. And though some of us will have more trouble than others... and some of us may never get there (that's just reality and I may be one that never does), for now, we have the support of each other and that makes it easier! We'll just keep helping each other, which will help keep our stress down and spirits up and then the will be right around the corner for us!