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What are you doing for baby last name?

This baby will have OHs surname despite the fact we aren't married. In my opinion that's the only way to do it! I couldn't ever imagine giving the baby my surname, I personally find it out of the ordinary. OH has 2 other children from a previous marriage who have his surname. His ex got remarried and tried to change their surnames to her new partners (without dads permission!) and I think that's wrong. They're his children and we have them at weekends, holidays , Christmas and new year etc so why should they have someone else's surname who she's known for a few years compared to the 10years my OH has brought them up?! Infuriates me.
 
Our baby will have my OH's surname. We're engaged and planning on marrying next year and I will be taking his name.

I may have misunderstood but from what you said it sounds like your partner does want to get married and just can't afford a ring. I wouldn't make such a big decision about my baby's name based on whether OH could afford to propose to me or not. He sounds like he's in it for the long haul so I would at least hypthenate if that is all you are comfortable with. Good luck making your decision :)
 
Baby will take my husbands last name. Its the "family" name. Perhaps one day I will change my last name, but I like mine better.
 
My DD from a previous relationship has my last name, this baby from a new relationship is also taking my last name with daddy's approval as he plans to take my last name if/when we marry. I lucked out
 
I'm currently married (got married this past January) but when our 1st son was born, we were not, so I was in a similar boat, though I didn't have another child in the picture. Anyway, we had talked about getting married before we even found out we were pregnant and I knew that one day we would be so I didn't even question it, really. I gave my son his daddy's last name, which is now my last name too (and of course, will be this baby's as well). But my OH and I had discussed it and he had no problems with me giving our son my last name if I had chose to do so. He even talked about taking on my name if we got married. :winkwink: But in the end, I decided I wanted him to have his fathers name as that's what felt right to me. It's totally a personal choice as to what's best for you and your family. It sounds to me like your OH is in it for the long haul and would love to marry you if he could afford it. I wouldn't hold his money issues against him. My now hubby was in a similar situation with debt from medical issues and not a great paying job but I loved him and knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. So in the end, he ended up buying me a beautiful ring, though nothing expensive, and I am perfectly happy with that. It was never about the ring for me, just the commmitment, which I knew he'd already given me. :) Sorry for the long post but I just thought I'd give the whole story! Anyway, it's totally up to you and what feels right. I would definitely discuss this with your OH and let him know your feelings and so you can know his as well. And make the decision based on whats best for all of you. I wish you all the best in making your choice! :hugs:
 
Me and my boyfriend of 3 years aren't married or even engaged and I doubt he's gonna pop the question any time soon!

However my son has his last name and baby will have his last name too.
One day I hope to be married to him then we will all have the same last name.

We gave/will give the children double middle names, as my last name is double barreled.

At the end of the day it's your choice though, the mother has the last say.
Xx
 
This pg i am married and i took hubby's name. My daughter has a different dad but she has always had my last name (so my maiden name, then changed by deed poll to my married name with the agreement of her bio father).
My personal feeling was i wanted the same name as my kids - i'm the one most likely to be travelling with them, taking them to school/docs etc so just seemed appropriate. My husband would've taken my surname if dds dad had not consented to the name change, so that as a family we'd all have the same name. I know different people have different views on this but it was something i felt very strongly about from day one.
 
Its a personal decision. I almost gave DD1 OH's name. I had a bit of a jolt back to reality when she was born and gave her mine.

When we did get married, both me and LO took his name, it was a special day for all of us <3
 
I've always had the opinion of - if I'm not married to him, the surname for any children would be mine...

For doctors appointments, school things, collecting medicine, etc I have been told it can sometimes be a nightmare if you don't have the same surname!

I sort of feel like, if I've made a 9 month commitment to carry the child, and until he makes a commitment to me, he doesn't essentially deserve the surname!

Silly thinking I'm sure, but until he's committed to me AND the child, the surname sticks to mine!
 
I've always had the opinion of - if I'm not married to him, the surname for any children would be mine...

For doctors appointments, school things, collecting medicine, etc I have been told it can sometimes be a nightmare if you don't have the same surname!

I sort of feel like, if I've made a 9 month commitment to carry the child, and until he makes a commitment to me, he doesn't essentially deserve the surname!

Silly thinking I'm sure, but until he's committed to me AND the child, the surname sticks to mine!

That reminds me I got questioned at Amsterdam airport as I went there on holiday with my son and when we were trying to return back home they were questioning my son was mine as he had a different surname. I almost thought I'd have to go to the British Embassy to sort it out!
 
I agree that this is a very personal decision and the approach that works best in one family may not be the same for others.

I am married, and I kept my surname. I was never keen on following the arcane rule that said I become my husband's property upon marriage and couldn't bear the thought of my identity being lost by losing my name. Our family name is just that, our family name and not one or the other. My DS has both of our surnames as he shares both our genes and heritage. This is the approach that works for us. Our new LO will also take both our names.

Other European countries have their own approach - spanish kids take their father's and mothers name too so there is no family name as such (as their parents names are made up of their own parent's name) and only siblings share the same name. I think this is great as the female line isn't lost like it is in the UK. Does anyone really know their grandmother's maiden name, or their great grandmother's maiden name??
 
I'm married and I kept one of my surnames (had 2) and took DH's. DH and my LO's just have DH's.
 
I agree that this is a very personal decision and the approach that works best in one family may not be the same for others.

I am married, and I kept my surname. I was never keen on following the arcane rule that said I become my husband's property upon marriage and couldn't bear the thought of my identity being lost by losing my name. Our family name is just that, our family name and not one or the other. My DS has both of our surnames as he shares both our genes and heritage. This is the approach that works for us. Our new LO will also take both our names.

Other European countries have their own approach - spanish kids take their father's and mothers name too so there is no family name as such (as their parents names are made up of their own parent's name) and only siblings share the same name. I think this is great as the female line isn't lost like it is in the UK. Does anyone really know their grandmother's maiden name, or their great grandmother's maiden name??

We double barrelled as I didn't want to loose my name.
 
LO will be given my boyfriend / her father's surname. Even if we weren't planning on marrying, I'd be giving her OH's surname as he's her father, and always will be. The only way I'd be giving her my last name is if he turns out to be a deadbeat dad and makes zero effort to be in her life. I have a hyphenated last name myself and I've always hated it growing up, and have taken to only going by half of my last name for the past six years or so.

I do think that the decision is very personal, and everyone will feel differently on the matter. Good luck with whatever you decide! :flower:
 
I'm torn as to what to do in this situation, too. It is important to me that I have the same last name as my child. When my own parents divorced, my mom kept her married name so that she would have the same last name as me. My boyfriend is dead set on our baby having his last name. I'm not against this, like I said, I just feel it is important that I have the same last name as my baby. My boyfriend has said he'd marry me and what-not, but, he has dropped the subject for now. I bring up at least being engaged and he says that is "rushing things" (and having a baby isn't? Haha). If we were engaged, I'd be fine with the baby having his last name, too. I would just feel better if there was some sort of given that I would share the same surname as my child. Our names sound ridiculous when hyphenated, so I'm voting against that. I guess time will tell.

Good luck with your decision!
 

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