What do we all mean by 'self settling'?

[Mum2b_Claire]

I'm really interested in what people's definition of self settling is. There are a lot of threads about it, and I guess I'm not always entirely sure what people mean by it.

Is it literally putting the baby down awake in their cot/basket/crib with no dummy, and then leaving the room?

Or is falling asleep from awake, in the cot, with a dummy and/or with you in the room, still considered self settling? In which case it is just rocking, car rides or feeding / cuddling to sleep that is not self settling.

Thoughts?

(I don't think self settling is important by the way, I'm just interested in what people mean when they refer to it.)

 

[Serene123]

I would say Caitlyn self settles but I am in the room with her and do read stories / sing to her x

 

[Jchihuahua]

For me I consider that Daisy has self settled if I can tell she is tired and I put her in her cot (with her cuddly to hold as she doesn't have a dummy) and go out of the room and watch her on the monitor. She will usually move around or gurgle for a few minutes but will often then fall asleep. If she doesn't fall asleep within 10 minutes or starts to cry I go and get her again. I don't consider it self settling when I have fed her or rocked her to sleep.

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar used to self settle when he was younger. I used to put him awake in his cot with a dummy. He used to move & turn for 15-20 mins & then falls asleep. Now it's a difr story. He doesnt need rocking, singing, etc. But if I place him in his cot awake, he will end up standing, sitting, & crawling in his cot & will never fall asleep, he never cries but will go on playing for hrs. So, I put him on my bed & ristrict his movement with large pillows & my body. He hugs the pillows & then sleep. If he tries to escape, I bring him back to place. I dont pat of hug him, he keeps turning & rolling over until he finally settles & sleep. After he falls asleep I move him to his cot. He settles without help frm me but I dont really consider it self settling, but it's working well for us. Once he's over standing & crawling before sleeping, I will try putting him in his cot awake & see how it goes. xx

 

[Kel127]

I can lay Connor down awake, and he will suck his thumb and fall asleep within 10 minutes. He always self settles at night, and most naps. Since teething he needs to be rocked or fed to sleep for some naps.

 

[binxyboo]

I can put Daniel in his moses basket, pop his dummy in and leave the room. He is generally asleep withing 10-20 mins.
If I have to rock, cuddle or feed him to sleep, I don't consider him to be self settling.

 

[Seity]

Gabriel always falls asleep eating and I'm not about to wake him just so he can try and fall asleep again, but if he wakes in the night and isn't hungry, then he'll fall back asleep without any intervention on my part, so I consider that self settling. I'm not sure that he even has to be fed to sleep, but I'm not about to find out because I couldn't care less.

 

[EmmaM2]

I consider self settling to be when you haven't had to rock, cuddle, feed your baby to sleep etc. My aim is to be able to put my lo in his crib when sleepy but not in a deep sleep and for him to be able to fall asleep bby himself (with some assistance to start with) dummy or no dummy.

 

[Jody R]

I consider it to be when Joseph is happy to go awake into his cot and doesn't cry but is happy to watch his mobile and talk himself off to sleep. As long as I have judged his tiredness properly this is most nights, he really only cries if I put him down too early and that's easily fixed by letting him play for a little while longer or giving him a cuddle and reading a story.

 

[bump_wanted]

we dont self settle but i would class it as putting the baby in crib/cot and them getting to sleep with a dummy if they take one even if i was in the same room...id love it if Ollie did do it but he just lays there awake and talks to himself even when he is literally shattered and as soon as i pick him up and cuddle him in he goes to sleep...i think ive built a rod for my own back heehee xx

 

[amandad192]

Liam self settles. I put him in his cot awake put his dummy in and cover him with his blanket. I know straight away if he's going to fallasleep or not because he will pull the blanket up over his head..I pull it down again then he rubs his eyes as I leave the room.
If he gets overtierd he cries himself to sleep. I "kind of" consider this self-settling because I don't have to help him get to sleep. I say kind of, because I tend to judge that on how long he cries for. If it's just a few minutes I consider it as self-settling, but more than about 5 minutes I don't..IYKWIM?

 

[Gingerspice]

My Lo will only settle with their dummy - the problem is it either drops out or they start gurgling so it falls out. They then get grumpy because they no longer have their dummy. I pop it in after letting LO grizzle for a while in the hope they might find their thumb (no luck yet though) so although they will fall asleep without me rocking them, I don't really count it as self settling as I have to keep going in to give them their dummy. If I could pop them in the cot then walk away and they fell asleep (with or without dummy) then I would consider that self settling. I know several books I've read imply that settling with a dummy is not self settling.

 

[smokey]

My deffinition of self settling is to be put down in his cot awake and leave him to fall asleep on his own be it with or without a dummy but without me there.

He does this some nights and overs he needs a bit of help like me holding his hand or stroking his cheek or even rocking or laying on the bed with him cuddling untill he falls asleep then pop him into his cot.
Self settling isnt very important to me, hes still very young and im happy enough to give him any help he needs, its no hardship to me.
Some nights I even tickle him to sleep

 

[Sam9kids]

i put Jenson in his bed on his side and leave the room. He usually goes straight off

 

[aob1013]

I would never self settle but i see it as putting baby in a cot/moses awake and let them fall asleep by themself.

 

[Serene123]

I guess she doesn't self settle then! I couldn't leave her by herself I love our story time!

 

[shayandbump]

Amy self-settles, or what we consider that to be anyway. She goes up to bed (awake) for her naps & bedtime, we put her straight into her cot, close the door and she drifts off within about 5 mins or so, depending on how tired she is.

 

[Miss_Bump]

I agree with most other posters that SS is putting LO down awake and them going sleep without help from you

Evie used to feed to sleep now she will suck her thumb or my finger lol and I usually rock her which is fine by me as she doesn't need my boob anymore to sleep

I've seen her wake up in the night and fuss then go back to sleep so I guess she can self settle when she has to
xx

 

[Rach27]

I thought it literally meant being able to fall asleep by themselves - as opposed to while feeding or with mum or dad helping out (by singing or even just being with them).

 

[bubbles123]

I consider my son to self settle. I put him down in his cot awake with his dummy and leave the room. He usually goes to sleep in 10 mins or so with no crying or anything and I check on him every 5 mins or so until he's asleep. I've never had to rock him or anything, he goes to sleep best without me there. If I stay in the room he stays awake smiling at me!