What not to say to a c-section mum

[widdles1985]

I was induced on the Wednesday morning ( I had to be induced due to very high BP at the end of my pregnancy ) my waters went that night at 8.30 then I was in labour until Friday after 56 hours of labour and pushing for an hour I starting going into shock I had to be hooked by to a ECG they decided I was ok to push for another hour then by babys heart rate started dipping by this time I was totally exhausted... the doctor came in to excamete me and they said my babys head was at an angle that I would not be able to push him out on my own... she then told me me that she wanted me to have ventouse delivery but her consultant had strongly arrived that I have a c section with 56 hours of no sleep and in loads of pain it is not a easy dession to make I decided to go for the c-section, I did not want to but my myself or my baby under any more stress.

My LO was born Friday moring at 8.51 am via c-section 56 hours after I was induced.

The pain after a c-sessction is so bad far more then I expected and I felt horrible for the first day that I could not bath,change or dress my baby.

 

[Incubator]

I don't think 'birth' is easy. Whether it's on an emotional or physical level, or both. I have experienced a drug-free vaginal delivery and a c-section. Neither one was easy. I suffered from PTSD and sever PND after my 1st (the vaginal delivery) and spent 6 years in psychotherapy. It took me 10 years to be persuaded by my OH to have another child after my experience. After my c-section I also suffered from PND but not to the same extent. I had no problems changing or dressing my LO and I was left alone to care for her from the moment my OH left when visiting hours ended until he arrived back at 8am the next morning. I did have terrible problems breast feeding but managed to fight my way through them with a lot of help and support from my midwife.

I think every woman should have the opportunity to try to have exactly the kind of birth she wants and I absolutely applaud the renewed interest in home birthing. However, I also really do believe that the birth is not just about the woman (and maybe this is an unpopular stand point) - it's about the safe arrival of a new life into the world. Sometimes the things that we women decide we want are sadly just not possible (especially when those cheeky babies don't play the game and refuse to come out!) and I think it's tragic that we spend so much time beating ourselves up about how things turn out when, more often than not, we had no control over the situation.
I'm sure in some situations medical intervention is too quick to come but in others it's not. The woman giving birth is not at fault because things don't go the way she planned and the method of delivery certainly does not lesson or diminish her 'birth goddess' status at all. I know that I'd rather have my LO delivered safely and soundly into my arms over and above anything else. It does 'matter' how they get into your arms, but it's only the first step on a lifelong journey into the parenthood which is full of ups and downs and good and bad and wonder and disappointment.

I was talking to my OH about this topic and he said the thing that flaws him most is how judgmental and critical women are of each other and of the way they have given birth. Women have a hard enough time negotiating all the prejudice and sexism and various other 'isms' in life as it is. We need to celebrate each and every birth regardless of the 'method' of delivery. Every single birth is unique, every woman will experience each birthing experience in a different way. Let's celebrate this uniqueness and be proud that our fellow women have managed to bring new life into this world regardless of how they did it.

x

 

[Bournefree]

I was talking to my OH about this topic and he said the thing that flaws him most is how judgmental and critical women are of each other and of the way they have given birth. Women have a hard enough time negotiating all the prejudice and sexism and various other 'isms' in life as it is. We need to celebrate each and every birth regardless of the 'method' of delivery. Every single birth is unique, every woman will experience each birthing experience in a different way. Let's celebrate this uniqueness and be proud that our fellow women have managed to bring new life into this world regardless of how they did it.

x

Great post! You have really captured this wonderfully.
I know that lots of women can have a feeling of faliure or their body is a faliure.. but I think it is incredibly sad that women feel this way.. and my heart goes out to them, that they in someway feel it is THEIR fault.
XxX