What ridiculous things have been said to you?

[PeanutBean]

I thought I'd share this gem I just got from my brother in law, who has been studying some medical practioner qualification for all of three months.

The only thing I can't understand is the pain.

Says it all really. Men and medicine think pain is all there is to childbirth eh?

 

[summer rain]

Well about homebirth specifically I've been told its 'dangerous' and anything could go wrong and I should steer clear, even though I've had one successful homebirth, a lot of people simply won't believe the statistics and studies that say for a normal low-risk birth; homebirth is as safe as; if not safer than a hospital birth. They just don't get how that can be. I also have many people saying about how they can't believe how I can't know I'm in labour until its too late and thus its safer for me not to move myself or try to go to hospital at that stage, but it really is like that for me.

 

[PeanutBean]

Do you go fast? It's so odd the way people assume everyone is exactly the same!

 

[summer rain]

My labours are in the precipitous category and my last two I had one fairly strong contraction with nothing for at least 30 minutes and then 30 minutes or so later it was constant, also my labours have halved every time in length so I am expecting the overall length of this one to be around 45 minutes; if it follows the same pattern. I have been recommended a home birth which I was keen on but not sure now as the local midwives don't inspire the greatest confidence in me but then again not sure how feasible or safe it would be to try and get to hospital; even at the first twinge.

 

[PeanutBean]

Wow that is fast! I compare to my 35 hours! Seems sensible to be at home. Can you get a doula if you're not convinced by your mws?

 

[Mervs Mum]

Re Home birth:

'You're brave to have him at home!' (you're brave to have [him] at [insert my local hospital's name] hospital!)

'What about the mess?' - i wasnt planning on sacrificing the baby afterwards

'is it hygienic to have a baby at home?' - there's no MSRA in my house to my knowledge AND the stop the front page - my newborn will have to LIVE in the home it's born in!

Re drug free birth:

'God invented epidurals so we didnt have to suffer'.....oh really......and remind me which day that was on again?

 

[PeanutBean]

God invented epidurals?!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Apparently so! Then he had a rest.....

 

[Greta Chick]

I'm going to my local midwife led birth centre again (third time) and I've had all sorts of comments ranging from "ooh I'd love to go there but it's just if something happens there's no doctors or theatres there" to "we're not bothered about flipping pools and aromatherapy and all that crap, we just want to know there's a doctor down the corridor and epidurals and theatres a button away." Riiiiiight!

I've also had "if something went wrong you'd never forgive yourself" and "why would you want to go there where there's no help when you can go to W&C and you know if something goes wrong you'll get sorted straight away?"

So ignorant beyond belief

xx

 

[Tegans Mama]

I think the worst for me has been 'you'll never do it'. Purely and simply that - said by my little sister, who is an absolutely lovely person, but holds the fact she had a vaginal delivery and I ended up with a section over me.

 

[kiwimama]

"Why would you want to do that?"
"Gosh you're so brave!"
Luckily I have not (yet) had anyone telling me it's completely dangerous and I'm putting my babys life at risk etc. etc.

OT - congrats Lea, just noticed!!

 

[Tegans Mama]

"Why would you want to do that?"
"Gosh you're so brave!"
Luckily I have not (yet) had anyone telling me it's completely dangerous and I'm putting my babys life at risk etc. etc.

OT - congrats Lea, just noticed!!

Thankyou

 

[DazedConfused]

"Ohh you're bravveee"

"For your FIRST?!"

"you're too young" The fuck?

"I don't know anyone who did it without the drugs" .... I do?

"You'll need the drugs"

"You have got a low pain threshold. I remember when you had that wart bunt off and you screamed the whole time" Thanks mum, I was um 5?

"Your baby will die"

My mum ladies and gentlemen!

Most people just say that I'm brave and or purse their lips which is nice

 

[thursday]

About me wanting to have a homebirth:
"Ew."
"Why wouldn't you just want the drugs?"
"Oh, yeah. You'll say that now but once you're actually in labor you're going to be begging for a hospital."

Right.... I forgot, no one EVER was able to give birth before hospitals were invented. Geeze. It's funny because the people who are the most unsupportive about this are people who have never had children. The people who have been the most supportive about a homebirth are people who have BEEN through labor and delivery in a hospital lol.

 

[kiwimama]

"Ohh you're bravveee"

"For your FIRST?!"

"you're too young" The fuck?

"I don't know anyone who did it without the drugs" .... I do?

"You'll need the drugs"

"You have got a low pain threshold. I remember when you had that wart bunt off and you screamed the whole time" Thanks mum, I was um 5?

"Your baby will die"

My mum ladies and gentlemen!

Most people just say that I'm brave and or purse their lips which is nice

Haha, that one made me laugh - although I read it as "I remember when you had that wart burnt off your butt and you screamed the whole time."

About me wanting to have a homebirth:
"Ew."
"Why wouldn't you just want the drugs?"
"Oh, yeah. You'll say that now but once you're actually in labor you're going to be begging for a hospital."

Right.... I forgot, no one EVER was able to give birth before hospitals were invented. Geeze. It's funny because the people who are the most unsupportive about this are people who have never had children. The people who have been the most supportive about a homebirth are people who have BEEN through labor and delivery in a hospital lol.

Gosh no! Having to sit down in a car at 7cms and get driven along bumpy roads was possibly the worst part of my labour - it's a part that I will never forget that's for sure. One of the big reasons I'm going for a homebirth this time. I cannot labour sitting or lying down, I had to be standing and swaying the entire time last time.

 

[Mervs Mum]

The big thing that pees me off it this.....

would any one of you DREAM of saying any of the following things to them...

'OMG WTF do you need drugs for? Are you pussy?'

'Why in the name of jumping jehovah would you go to hospital? Dont you know those places are full of ILL PEOPLE and MRSA?!'

'Oh I'm not bothered about epidurals and doctors and all that CRAP. Show me the pool and the aromatherapy every time!'

In short....NO! But it's ok the other way around. BUT this is the fundamental difference between you and the people trying to bum you out. THEY are negative and you are positive. Where and how you give birth is irrelevant. If it was turned on it's head you would still be supportive and thoughtful in your choice of words. Basic common courtesy and manners.

 

[jms895]

Love it

 

[PeanutBean]

TM!

Greta, I was reading a couple of days ago about Hull hospital having some pretty awful stats including obstetric issues. Not sure if that would be your local but I would far rather go to a birthing centre than invite trouble at that hospital!

 

[flubdub]

Re drug free birth:

'God invented epidurals so we didnt have to suffer'.....oh really......and remind me which day that was on again?

You obviously havn't read the Genesis Creation narrative properly then? (see below)

On the first day God says, "Let there be light!" and light appears.

On the second day God creates an expanse to separate the waters above from below.

On the third day God commands the waters below to recede and make dry land appear, and fills the earth with vegetation.

On the fifth day, God creates sea creatures and birds of every kind and commands them to procreate.

On the sixth day, God creates epidurals.

God rests on the seventh and final day of creation as Sabbath, which he marks as holy.

 

[Jenniflower]

Re drug free birth:

'God invented epidurals so we didnt have to suffer'.....oh really......and remind me which day that was on again?

You obviously havn't read the Genesis Creation narrative properly then? (see below)

On the first day God says, "Let there be light!" and light appears.

On the second day God creates an expanse to separate the waters above from below.

On the third day God commands the waters below to recede and make dry land appear, and fills the earth with vegetation.

On the fifth day, God creates sea creatures and birds of every kind and commands them to procreate.

On the sixth day, God creates epidurals.

God rests on the seventh and final day of creation as Sabbath, which he marks as holy.

Hahahaha Love it!
I always hate that comment because technically God did make labour and birthing "painful"
"To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children."

I'm not saying it has to be painful. You can very much experience joy and tightening as opposed to the pain some women feel. It just irks me when women try to throw that out there. More specifically the Christian women I know.

The worst things I've been told by my family
"Why do you always have to be different?"
"Don't get your hopes up"