what to do, what to do?! re: TTC #2

[QueSeraSera]

okay, background: so DD is 4 months old and DH and i have been NTNP since we got the go ahead to DTD from the doctor at 6 weeks. i am BFing, but have recently had to combi feed a little because of a low milk supply issue. for this reason i think my cycles are returning and i had a very light bleed for 4 days over the past weekend. i dont chart or use OPKs so technically i dont know if i am ovulating, but from the seemingly return of AF, it would appear as if i am.

so, all is well and good except for this: my best friend just got engaged. she was the MOH at my wedding and she has asked me to be MOH at hers. it is scheduled for april of 2012. she lives in england now but i was talking with her because they just booked the venue, and she said jokingly "okay, i have a request, and its a big one. you have to wait to have any more babies until after the wedding" (she doesnt know that we are NTNP, nobody does) she is marrying an english guy and they are living over there...she wants to have her hen night in amsterdam (i guess this is the destination of choice for hen parties over there) and for us and the rest of the girls to have a fun and crazy night out like we used to in college. so...do i put off any plans for a baby until after the wedding? because its not even a question of being big prego in my bridesmaid dress or saying well if im only 4 months or so it wouldnt be too noticeable...its more a question of being able to drink at the hen party and the reception and such.

what would you do? would you put off TTC? DD will be 17 months at the wedding and if dont TTC until after that, we are looking at a minimum 27 month age gap if i fell pregnant right away. i mean...i know thats not huge, but DH and i both kind of want our kids to be closer in age. ahhh...i just dont know what to do! would love to hear any advice

 

[DMG83]

i would never not ttc but that's because I haven't got my baby yet... my BF had a similar situation for my wedding though, i would never have asked her not to get pregnant though!! lol she chose not to get pregnant because we hadn't seen eachother in ages and she wanted to celebrate our wedding with us without a big bump, and also she had to travel to come to the wedding... so in her case, she was happy to put it off. Her boy is now coming up 2 and she is 10 weeks pregnant with no.2.. so it did her no harm!

It's a long long time to put off ttc though!? maybe you could time it so you stop for if it would make you pregnant on her wedding day, but try until then?

if that makes sense. As in, if the baby is out, there's no problem

good luck making a decision

 

[TaeBoMama]

okay, background: so DD is 4 months old and DH and i have been NTNP since we got the go ahead to DTD from the doctor at 6 weeks. i am BFing, but have recently had to combi feed a little because of a low milk supply issue. for this reason i think my cycles are returning and i had a very light bleed for 4 days over the past weekend. i dont chart or use OPKs so technically i dont know if i am ovulating, but from the seemingly return of AF, it would appear as if i am.

so, all is well and good except for this: my best friend just got engaged. she was the MOH at my wedding and she has asked me to be MOH at hers. it is scheduled for april of 2012. she lives in england now but i was talking with her because they just booked the venue, and she said jokingly "okay, i have a request, and its a big one. you have to wait to have any more babies until after the wedding" (she doesnt know that we are NTNP, nobody does) she is marrying an english guy and they are living over there...she wants to have her hen night in amsterdam (i guess this is the destination of choice for hen parties over there) and for us and the rest of the girls to have a fun and crazy night out like we used to in college. so...do i put off any plans for a baby until after the wedding? because its not even a question of being big prego in my bridesmaid dress or saying well if im only 4 months or so it wouldnt be too noticeable...its more a question of being able to drink at the hen party and the reception and such.

what would you do? would you put off TTC? DD will be 17 months at the wedding and if dont TTC until after that, we are looking at a minimum 27 month age gap if i fell pregnant right away. i mean...i know thats not huge, but DH and i both kind of want our kids to be closer in age. ahhh...i just dont know what to do! would love to hear any advice

There is no way that I'd put off TTC for such a purpose. Besides, there are a lot of engaged couples who never get so far as to say "I do". Your friend has no right to give such orders. But of course this is YOUR decision.

 

[DMG83]

There is no way that I'd put off TTC for such a purpose. Besides, there are a lot of engaged couples who never get so far as to say "I do". Your friend has no right to give such orders. But of course this is YOUR decision.[/QUOTE]

what she said too!!!

 

[QueSeraSera]

good point! i guess so long as i fell pregnant before may, then i wouldnt necessarily be pregnant. i am a big pro-breastfeeding person though, which means that you still cant drink after the baby arrives. but maybe i could work out puming and storing enough to cover a single night of having a few and just pump and toss anything that is made while partaking.. not the most ideal of situations, but it could work.

its so hard to decide...on one hand she is my best friend and i want her day to be perfect and just how she wants it, and if that means me having some drinks with her then i want to do that. i mean, she said it in a very jokingly way...because im sure she doesnt even think another kid is on my radar right now. but im sure that to some extent she means it. but it sure is a long time waiting...plus i would probably need to go on the pill, which i really didnt want to do as it was such a pain coming off of it last time. and who knows...i could technically already be pregnant...you never know right?

eeek! thanks for your adivce though! maybe just waiting if i dont fall pregnant before may is the way to go.

 

[DMG83]

don't go back on the pill if you want more babies! it's evil!!! and don't put your body through that just for someone else!! I think your plan sounds good, and there's no problem in having a few drinks as long as it's out of your system by the time you come to breastfeed again

 

[QueSeraSera]

okay, background: so DD is 4 months old and DH and i have been NTNP since we got the go ahead to DTD from the doctor at 6 weeks. i am BFing, but have recently had to combi feed a little because of a low milk supply issue. for this reason i think my cycles are returning and i had a very light bleed for 4 days over the past weekend. i dont chart or use OPKs so technically i dont know if i am ovulating, but from the seemingly return of AF, it would appear as if i am.

so, all is well and good except for this: my best friend just got engaged. she was the MOH at my wedding and she has asked me to be MOH at hers. it is scheduled for april of 2012. she lives in england now but i was talking with her because they just booked the venue, and she said jokingly "okay, i have a request, and its a big one. you have to wait to have any more babies until after the wedding" (she doesnt know that we are NTNP, nobody does) she is marrying an english guy and they are living over there...she wants to have her hen night in amsterdam (i guess this is the destination of choice for hen parties over there) and for us and the rest of the girls to have a fun and crazy night out like we used to in college. so...do i put off any plans for a baby until after the wedding? because its not even a question of being big prego in my bridesmaid dress or saying well if im only 4 months or so it wouldnt be too noticeable...its more a question of being able to drink at the hen party and the reception and such.

what would you do? would you put off TTC? DD will be 17 months at the wedding and if dont TTC until after that, we are looking at a minimum 27 month age gap if i fell pregnant right away. i mean...i know thats not huge, but DH and i both kind of want our kids to be closer in age. ahhh...i just dont know what to do! would love to hear any advice

There is no way that I'd put off TTC for such a purpose. Besides, there are a lot of engaged couples who never get so far as to say "I do". Your friend has no right to give such orders. But of course this is YOUR decision.

i think that it came off wrong in writing. it definitely wasnt an order. she was just joking around when she said it. mostly because we both graduated this past year with our doctorate degrees and i was pregnant at the time. so when everyone went out to a bar i didnt go with. she said something to the effect of "oh man, in a way sucks that you can't come, but go home and take care of yourself and the baby" to which i replied "no worries, next big event and i will definitely be at your side!" i mean she doesnt know that we are even thinking about another baby already. but, since we are, it kind of hit me as something i guess i need to at least consider the logistics of.

 

[mom22boys]

I did have a friend ask me not to be pregnant in her wedding. I was not I had the baby 3 weeks before her wedding, my dress did not fit, I looked like a cow, and my son had major medical issues.

Good luck what ever you decide!

 

[QueSeraSera]

don't go back on the pill if you want more babies! it's evil!!! and don't put your body through that just for someone else!! I think your plan sounds good, and there's no problem in having a few drinks as long as it's out of your system by the time you come to breastfeed again

yea the pill is not something i would want to go back on at all. hopefully i will just be able to catch an egg in the next couple of months and then i just have to work out the logistics of pumping and storing to cover the hen party night and the reception. if i dont fall pregnant by may then ill have to make that decision then, i suppose!

thanks for the advice!