What to do?

[Smille24]

I just found out that I'm pregnant after 2.5yrs of ttc. Our 1st IUI was successful and we're in shock bc the cpn who did the procedure said we had no chance.

My mom knows about our struggle and has been so supportive. She's helped with my dd so I can go to dr appts and was there to cry to when I felt so low. She knows I'm supposed to go for bloodwork this week, so of course she keeps asking if I know anything yet. She is very excited.

I really want to tell her, but my dh said I'm not to tell anyone. He's terrified it will jinx things. He said to tell her it didn't work and tell her after 8 weeks. I respect my dh and don't want to lose his trust, but I feel so torn.

 

[suspectpink]

Firstly huge congratulations !!! Xxx secondly I think I would have to insist on telling my mum ! In reality if something was to happen I don't believe in "jinxing" and I would need my mum then too xxx your mum sounds absolutely fantastic and I can only see her being a positive support for you in these early weeks xxxxx

 

[Hope16]

I know exactly what he means about jinxing. The last two times I got pregnant I feel like the second I told my parents I miscarried within a week or so. This time around I am holding off until I'm at least 8-9 weeks before I tell them. It's no offense to them, I love them and want them to share in the joy. But the disappointment my miscarriages caused was brutal.

 

[Smille24]

Thank you ladies for responding. Maybe once he feels more confident he'll let me tell her.

 

[Scout]

Congratulations! I would tell my mom. If she hadn't been involved from the very beginning, then I don't see a problem with waiting, but she has been there, been supportive, and is excited. I'd tell her. If you lie to her, she will likely be very disappointed for you; I don't think that's fair to her. Just my opinion. Oh, and also, if something is going to happen, it will happen regardless. I don't believe you can jinx anything...again, just my personal opinion. Good luck with this.

 

[Smille24]

Congratulations! I would tell my mom. If she hadn't been involved from the very beginning, then I don't see a problem with waiting, but she has been there, been supportive, and is excited. I'd tell her. If you lie to her, she will likely be very disappointed for you; I don't think that's fair to her. Just my opinion. Oh, and also, if something is going to happen, it will happen regardless. I don't believe you can jinx anything...again, just my personal opinion. Good luck with thi.

I totally agree with you. If I lie to her, she will be so crushed because that is a huge lie. I'm really afraid it will make her depressed bc she knows our pain. I think I need to tell her but tell her to act surprised later.

 

[Scout]

It would be great if she never asks you outright, but since she's so involved I'd guess she will (my mom would ! LOL), but one can hope, right!. If she does ask you, I suppose you could always say that you don't know, and try to hold her off that way. At least that would save her the disappointment. I would just never tell her that I had tested and it was negative; that would lead to too much hurt for her, but I'm sure you can come up with a way to avoid doing that....get creative! In the end, I'm sure you'll do what's best for your situation.

 

[minties]

I think I would respect his feelings on this one. I've seen a few threads on here where ladies were so upset that their husbands told people when they had asked them not to - it's his pregnancy too and he seems to feel very strongly about it. Give him another week and then see how he feels then.

 

[psychochick]

Smille: I remember you! Congrats on your BFP!

I think if you're close to your mom and she's usually pretty involved in your family, it's probably going to end up coming out. But I think to treat it as a need-to-know only and discuss it with DH if it comes up. Maybe don't volunteer the information, but if she asks, I don't think it's fair to ask you to lie to your mother either.

I told my parents almost right away because I knew that no matter what happens, they'd support me and want to be involved. However neither DH nor I feel it's necessary to tell his parents because they're farther and can't really help us one way or the other. So I think it depend on the situation.

 

[Smille24]

I am extremely close to my mom and she worries a lot. She knew I was to go for testing this week, so of course she keeps asking. My dh is feeling more comfortable about it after today so I don't think it's a problem to tell her. I can't lie to her and say it didn't work bc she has cried many tears with me and has been there each step of the way, so that's not fair.

Thank you for your input ladies, I really appreciate it!