What type of mom are you?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by leeanne, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. leeanne

    leeanne Mom of 3 and Stepmom of 2

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    The one who goes by the book and thinks that babies should be off of the bottle or breast at a certain age, potty trained at a certain age, etc?

    Or the type that doesn't sweat the deadlines and says they will quit when they are ready yet I will help and talk to them as much as possible about why they should stop?
     
  2. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

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    well with Hannah getting her off the bottle isn't really an issue (it's more of a getting her to take the darn thing :lol:)

    But with other things I try to tell myself she'll do it in her own time, I can't force it. One is the soother, I had a panic attack around 5 months because she relied on it so much (but we'd gone to Texas and she was suffering stranger anxiety etc. and she used it for comfort quite a lot) Anyways long story short although we did stop giving it to her at non sleep times (unless out in public because again she has major stranger anxiety issues) and I had to say to myself hey she's still young, still learning...it will come in time.

    Another concern is now her stranger anxiety, it's pretty bad and it doesn't help to have the in-laws shoving it down my throat that she needs to know them, has to get used to them etc. but instead of giving her a chance they upset her etc. etc. I know that it will fade in it's own time and that every baby is different but it's hard when people are telling you that she needs to get over it right now!

    wow I wrote a novel :blush: In answer to the question I do try to keep an open mind and know that she will do things on her own schedule and I can't force any of the issues (though I do have slight panic attack moments here and there :rofl:)
     
  3. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    Before I had Alexa, I always said she would be off the breast at 6 months, because I figured that was the typical time to bf. I think she was 3-4 months when I realized that I was going to breastfeed her longer, and I set the 10 month-1 year limit, however as time went on, I realized that it is something that is okay for her to choose when to wean. Her pediatrician told me this is the best way-so now I don't feel so pressured to just automatically stop, because a guideline says so. Sure, a few people give me the "you're still breastfeeding" judging glance, but that's not my problem, I do what I feel is best for my child-I suppose I am lucky to live in a country so accepting of breastfeeding, but you know, there's always one or two people ready to judge!

    Off topic of breastfeeding, we have weaning onto solid food-I was adament to get to the 6 months, because that is the new guideline-but I only got to 5 months-every baby is different, and I am sorry that my (then) 26 pound, five month old was not completely satisfied by my breastmilk!

    Then there is co-sleeping-I always said I never would-then I did-so again-I went against the guidelines-do I regret it? Not even a little, but would I do it with my next child? Definitely not!

    So I definitely am not a parent who goes by the book! I write my own-mistakes and all :D
     
  4. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I LOVE MY BOOKS!! But I'm not a "by the book" sort of person, lol.

    I think every child is different, there's no "right" age for anything.. I would like to have Elyse potty-trained at around 2 years old (I was by then) but aside from that I haven't got any "deadlines" in my head just yet.
     
  5. pinkmac85

    pinkmac85 Mom & pregnant with #2

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    As of right now I am just taking it one day at a time! I would like LeeAnne to be off her soother completly by the age of 1 1/2 or earlier but that's something I will think more about when she gets to about 10-12 months.
    I like to have some sort of guidline to follow BUT I just do it my way and what works best for my daughter
     
  6. mommyof3co

    mommyof3co Mommy of 4 amazing boys!

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    I don't go by the book, but I do have my own opinions about those things. I do think there is a certain age where kids should be potty trained, now I have no clue what any professionals say lol, but based on my kids and friends kids and being around kids my entire life. I parent by what feels best for my family, I do do alot of research but it's usually about things, pros and cons, not just follow what my dr says to do, or my family and friends
     
  7. happy&healthy

    happy&healthy Ada's Mom

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    I've yet to even read a pregnancy or parenting book. If that tells you anything about my parenting style.
     
  8. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    although i have always described my self as 'up tight' and i'm a complete worry wart, seriously i worry about everything :blush: since maddi, i've become such a laid back mummy! since my pregnancy i have just taken things as they come, like with my birth, i did want it to be natural and no epi, but things changed and she was c-section, i wanted to breast feed, i tried for 3 days, but i actually had no milk, due to a hormonal condition, so off we went to bottle. i've found fab support from bnb, here is my parenting guide as you have all reaffirmed what i think - follow you're baby! maddi seems to be leading my on this amazing journey, i can't believe it still!

    with regards to other things i've done by the book - no co-sleeping, only because maddi has been a very easy baby, has always slept well! me and james would actually like her to be in bed with us :blush: but she likes sleeping on her own! i have always said, we are really lucky how well maddi sleeps, if she wasn't such a sleepy baby, i think this may have changed, i can completely understand - co sleep or no sleep x x

    with regards to weaning at 6months - i wanted to get there, but i found it was better to go by maddi - i did and she decided 6 months (she has been obviously reading the current guidelines lol!) no 2 might decide its time at 4 months :)

    with regards to sleeping in her own room - we did 6months, as because thats when we thought she needed her own room as we were waking our sleeping beauty :lol:

    so for us, its go with the flow, for me, try to be more laid back, yeah right! i worry too much :rofl:
     
  9. alice&bump

    alice&bump mummy to katie

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    i just go with the flow, but i do get a lot of help from books/magazines/internet. i dont follow things rigidly, but if there's something in a magazine that i'm interested in for example, tere was somethin recently about getting LO to have naps, which katie never did, i read it.

    drives OH bloody mad, but its just odd bits i get from them, i'd never bring a baby up just off books
     
  10. oOKayOo

    oOKayOo Well-Known Member

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    Im very laid back , i let them take the lead. Although one thing with ella i did was stop bottles from last week ( she is one next week anyway) and chucked them into beakers. Didnt take to it at first but is totally fine now.

    Otherwise , everything is done when they feel they are comfortable to do so.

    And have to admit i have never read ONE book about parenting , baby books anything.

    Just me and my noggin :smug:
     
  11. x-amy-x

    x-amy-x Mammy

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    Not by the book. Just do what i think, when she is ready. She's doing fine xx
     
  12. eclipse

    eclipse Mom of 2 wonderful kids!

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    I thought I would be a hardcore rule mom, but I ended up being really laid back, in everything! Liam still has a bottle at bed, more for comfort than anything, we are starting potty training in earnest now because he is showing signs he is ready finally (I guess boys are notorious for being slower potty trainers, so I let him set the tone so we wouldn't set him back) and he let us know he was ready for solids around 4 1/2 months when he looked at his bottle, looked at us, threw the bottle, and reached for our food! LOL I do read the info that the books provide, but take it with a grain of salt since that is an average, and that means a whole bunch of kids are both earlier and later than that average. so far it is working great for us! :)
     
  13. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    I have lost count of the number of times I've said that babies dont come out of books - they come out of mums.

    My sister is a 'by the book' mum. There must be an explaination or reason for everything. My MIL is the same.
    MIL: 'I wonder if she likes to poo at that time because she's sat with her back in this position and blah blah blah...' Me: 'She just needs a poo.....' Sister - 'She will probably not sleep tonight with her teeth. Give her calpol in advance to help with....blah blah' or 'have you checked in the 'newborn to a year book' about...blah blah blah'. I appreciate them both - they usually have some good info in amongst the massive over analysis!

    My sister gave me 'The Baby Whisperer' - I read about a chapter and ditched it. Dont get me wrong I love to hear theories and get information etc on different parenting styles etc and I will use the bits I think fit me and my kids, but in the main, I just follow my instinct. :D

    edit

    My recent fav was from my sister 'at some point soon they say you will need to leave her to cry at bedtime'......who the eff are 'they' and why do I 'need' to do anything like that unless 'I' want to?? :dohh:
     
  14. charliebear

    charliebear Mum to AJ & Pumpkin

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    We just go with the flow... I dont think I've ever read a parenting book!
     
  15. Ratty

    Ratty Well-Known Member

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    I try do everything that will make life easier later on. Things like not co-sleeping so I don't have the nightmare of training to sleep in his/her own room. The dummy is another one, from 6 months +- he hasn't had it during non-sleep times. I think when kids get older is harded to ween them off it and it can be bad for there development as they are constantly sucking a dummy instead of trying to talk.

    Basically what I'm saying is that if its better for my LO later on, then I go by the book.

    I know someone who has a 2 year old that stills needs to breastfeed for comfort before going to bed at night. This means that she can NEVER go out at night. I think in a situation like that where the kid doesn't need it for nutrition and its making your life a nightmare then you shouldn't just let them decide, but rather try "force" them to stop.

    I do like reading the books as its comforting to know that my LO is developing at the right pace!
     
  16. babe2ooo

    babe2ooo mum to Jack

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    i'm not by the book kind of person, i just go with the flow and do things when me and jack want, but i do like to make sure hes hitting things that they say he should, but i wouldnt push him, he does things in his own time. i do feel pressure alot those to get him doing things.
     
  17. mummymadness

    mummymadness Mummy to 4

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    What type of mum are you ?? = A very tired one HaHaHaHa ..

    No in all seriousness , I would say iam quiet a routine mummy ... Iam laid back with my kids in certain aspects! But with 3 under 5 i like to have a routine to stick to so we dont have ww2 happen in this house.
    I have never done anything by the book,I think every mummy finds her own way of doing things . xxxxxxxxxxx .
     
  18. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

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    I think im going to be in the middle ... keen to do things and get Brooke doing them, but no pressure, if it happens it happens, if it doesnt then no big deal.

    Being a parent certainley isnt textbook ... you have to find a parenting style that suits both you and your kids i think.
     
  19. lorrilou

    lorrilou Well-Known Member

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    i just go with the flow, let them lead me, works well for me so far.
     
  20. nikky0907

    nikky0907 Well-Known Member

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    I think I'm more laid back (as I am with a lot of things in life)... I mean, I've read the books and I am careful about things and aware but I do tend not to stress out, be relaxed and let things go at their own speed. I'm more into something feeling right to me and her then following it from the book.
     

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