What would I give...

[SarahJane]

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[emma33]

hey i dont know your situation but i can assume you have lost your baby girl for which im so sorry i lost my little boy 12 years ago on the 3rd oct..he was almost 4 his birthday is oct 18th , he passed away from meningitis and i miss him every single day i like you would do anything to have him back but as we know.. cant happen.. im not going to patronise you and say times a healer cos it really isnt.. but in time and over time you learn to deal with it better if that makes sence...just wanted to reply and let you know your not alone in losing a child lots of love hun xxxxx

 

[SarahJane]

Thank you Emma xx

Feel very sad today, I think it is the fact that her 6 month birthday is looming :'(

 

[SarahJane]

PS Emma - I am so sorry about your little boy, I can't begin to imagine what you have been through.

I also notice you are pregnant again - that makes me smile - congratulations and I wish you a very happy and healthy 9 months xxx

 

[SarahJane]

How ironic that I am due to ovulate on Evelyn's 6 months birthday according to my ticker!!!

Life is so full of irony!

 

[emma33]

aww lots of luck this month then hun.. yes this is going to be my 4th baby.. i have two other children who are 14 and 12 so big age gap..lol my best friend had her little boy 4 yrs to the day on leighs anniversay she rang me crying and saying im so sorry,,, so i get the ironic thing.... i think she was ment to have her little boy theat day and she named him leigh as a middle name which i thought was so lovely... people say things happen for a reason and we might never no them reasons i just hold on to that and keep plodding lots of love xxxxxxxxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

How ironic that I am due to ovulate on Evelyn's 6 months birthday according to my ticker!!!

Life is so full of irony!

Maybe it is a good sign that Evelyn is going to send you a rainbow baby? I was due with Sophia a year to the day after I had the scan and found out Isabella died. I couldn't work out if I liked that or not

I think after losing a baby you are never the same and in some ways once your rainbow is born there are more problems to deal with. The guilt you feel loving your baby so much when your other little one isn't here. Loving your rainbow so much but knowing you wouldn't have that baby if you other baby had lived.

I'm sorry that anyone has to go through this

 

[Andypanda6570]

I was thinking of this last night, I can't seem to get better, why? I want to move forward and try again this month and I still am stuck and so sad/ I told Ava when I held her and after her death that I would have given my life for her to have been able to stay here, I don't even have to think about I would have just done it. I miss her so much and my life is just so different . I feel I have lost myself and I will never get my old self back It has been over 6 months and I hope if I do get pregnant that my pain will ease or maybe it will get worse, I just don't know. I am very lost and very empty most of the time . I am so sorry for your loss of Evelyn And by the way i saw that same thread that you saw
XOXOOOXOOOX

 

[Hellylou]

I think it makes your perspective on things different. I suddenly realise how pointless it is to worry about material things and silly gripes when you have been through something so life changing. And yes, I would give it all to change what happened.

It's all quite new for me, it's only been 2 weeks, and my health deteriorated this week, so I guess I have been focussing more on my own physical recovery and my family, trying to get us all through this awful time.

I haven't been able to look to the future yet. I want to, though. I feel like life has thrown something terrible at us, and I will miss my baby forever, but I have to be strong and keep going for the sake of my kids and my husband and not let myself drown. I know there will be up days and down days, and I am just taking each one as it comes.

As for being pregnant again, on the one hand it is all I want - to be pregnant again, but at the same time I am terrified of it because of everything it would mean - memories of the one I lost, fear of it all happening again, guilt...

I know that during this last 2 weeks I have been clinging desperately to hope. I have to hope for something, be that better times, better luck, better health, because if I don't have hope I know I would simply sink.

 

[SarahJane]

I think it makes your perspective on things different. I suddenly realise how pointless it is to worry about material things and silly gripes when you have been through something so life changing. And yes, I would give it all to change what happened.

It's all quite new for me, it's only been 2 weeks, and my health deteriorated this week, so I guess I have been focussing more on my own physical recovery and my family, trying to get us all through this awful time.

I haven't been able to look to the future yet. I want to, though. I feel like life has thrown something terrible at us, and I will miss my baby forever, but I have to be strong and keep going for the sake of my kids and my husband and not let myself drown. I know there will be up days and down days, and I am just taking each one as it comes.

As for being pregnant again, on the one hand it is all I want - to be pregnant again, but at the same time I am terrified of it because of everything it would mean - memories of the one I lost, fear of it all happening again, guilt...

I know that during this last 2 weeks I have been clinging desperately to hope. I have to hope for something, be that better times, better luck, better health, because if I don't have hope I know I would simply sink.

You are doing so well I cannot remember much of the first few months myself and know I struggled to even get to the end of most days.

If I have learnt one thing from this last 6 months, it is to take every single day one at a time and not to put too much pressure on myself.

I hope your own health is a little better and I am so sorry for your loss You are totally right about hope and it is the moments where I lose hope that I get to the state I have been in the last couple of days.

Thank you for reminding me that there is some hope out there xxxx

 

[winterwonder]

I understand what you mean, although its only been three weeks i have realised that things can never be the same. I want so much to be pregnant and have my little boy back with me. But i know that if and when i do get pregnant again, it can never be the same, all that joy that i experienced with this pregnancy, all that happiness it wont be there.

 

[SarahJane]

I understand what you mean, although its only been three weeks i have realised that things can never be the same. I want so much to be pregnant and have my little boy back with me. But i know that if and when i do get pregnant again, it can never be the same, all that joy that i experienced with this pregnancy, all that happiness it wont be there.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope that the days and months to come are kind to you

 

[kam78]

I am terribly sorry babe.. I do not know you at all yet my stomach feels sickened and my heart is heavy for you... guess we are stuck on this nightmare of a journey together, as we all are... I completely understand how you feel and think.... Just know you are never alone and we are always here for you.... Xoxo

 

[SarahJane]

Thank you kam - your words mean a lot xxx