What's the dumbest/most offensive thing someone's said to you about TTC?

[AllMacsNow]

This flabbergasted me... I had to share.

Little background, my Hubs' best friend is a woman. LONG story.

They talk about EVERYTHING, so I shouldn't have been surprised, but was still upset when he told her we were TTC... because of course, she hasn't been able to shut up about it since..."When you have your baby", "I was going to buy you a shirt for your b-day, but maybe by then, you will need a *different* type of shirt, wink wink" (fat chance, since my birthday is in less than a month), "When you get that bun in your oven", "Look at *that* lady, she's got a bun in her oven"... You get the picture.

Anyways, we ended up in a really awkward situation the other day when she bought me something (she was so proud of herself)... and presented it to me "It's a fertility symbol." I burst into tears, right there in public. She felt bad, and kept saying how she's trying to be supportive, etc, blah blah blah.

THEN, she has the GALL... I couldn't believe it...

To say "I want this as bad as you do." I laughed (through my tears), and barely squeaked out "I doubt it." She said something to the effect of how else is she supposed to have a little one to play with?

I couldn't believe it.

But I'm sure you've all heard your share too... what are your stories?

 

[bdawn8403]

Its not really about TTC but goes along with the process.

I just got off the phone from my gyno's office. I was wanting to order another SA since my husband has been on FertilAid for over 3 months and his last SA was about 4 or so months ago, checking to see if its working basically. The nurse said, "we don't know what that is" (I said "I wanted to order a followup SA for my husband" not thinking because I assumed they knew the lingo and I remember it being listed as SA on the order). I was dumbfounded but said, a semen analysis and she said "okay and you want this for your husband?" I wanted to say "no I want you to test my semen" or "yeah because I don't have semen to analysis". I mean really???

Then she said, "we don't do that here". I had to tell her that I know you don't do it physically there but you do order it because you did the last time. Jesus! Apparently doesn't take much to work in a doctor's office.

 

[momma2times]

Wow... that's going to add some tension to your relationship with your husbands best friend hey?!

 

[smokey]

When I was trying to get answers from my dr as to why I was only having 2-3 periods a year her reply was "think yourself luck most womwn would kill for that"

I was at work one day and one of my 18 year old co workers told me she was pregnant and started on about how she wasnt sure if she wanted it or not then turned and said to me "oh your after a baby arnt you? why dont you have it" and started laughing, I realy didnt see the funny side of it.

Another co worker from a different job on finding out that it was unlikely id ever be able to have children said "whats the problem, its not like you would want kids anyway, I cant see why anyone would want kids"
Two days later I was "let go of" for pinning her against a wall and threatening her.

At one of my fertility appointments we where discussing about having my tubes flushed at the next appointment and the dr said "all you need to do in the meantime is remember to not get accidently pregnant" I blew up and hit the roof at her and shouted "after 8 years of trying if I could get "accidently" pregnant I wouldnt be needing you now would I?"

Although I do forgive her as that month 2 days before my next appointment I did actualy become pregnant and had to laugh at the irony of the one month I wasnt ment to I did

 

[mommytobe11]

I was at the ER last night, finding out i was losing my baby, and the nurse came back after the doctor saw me and was telling me what the doctor said, blah blah. (I'm already trying SO hard at this point not to lose it until I walked out) and she says, with a BIG SMILE on her face, "so, thats it, NOT PREGNANT"

I just couldnt believe how insensitive they all were there! and then i guess because she saw how upset that comment made me she added "well, uh, hopefully next month!" i just wanted to slap her across the face at that point.

 

[mommytobe11]

Two days later I was "let go of" for pinning her against a wall and threatening her.

that made me smile. GOOD FOR YOU! (sorry you got let go of though )

 

[bdawn8403]

I was at the ER last night, finding out i was losing my baby, and the nurse came back after the doctor saw me and was telling me what the doctor said, blah blah. (I'm already trying SO hard at this point not to lose it until I walked out) and she says, with a BIG SMILE on her face, "so, thats it, NOT PREGNANT"

I just couldnt believe how insensitive they all were there! and then i guess because she saw how upset that comment made me she added "well, uh, hopefully next month!" i just wanted to slap her across the face at that point.

Oh don't even get me started about mc related responses

I was told, "so....you did indeed have a miscarriage...but hey good news you're still young and can get pregnant again" as she patted me on the back. This was after earlier I had told her it has taken us over 2 years to even get this.

I know sorry doesn't mean anything right now but my sympathies are extended to you. I know what its like and being a little over 2 months, its still so fresh. I hope you get your next BFP soon!!

 

[Hopeful425]

I HATE "If you were meant to be a mother, God would have made it happen by now."

 

[maggie111]

My goodness you all know some horrible/stupid people!

I consider myself very lucky.

 

[mommytobe11]

bdawn - i cant believe how people can say things like that. do the not realize how difficult it is, getting SO excited when you get your BFP, planning and dreaming about your soon-to-be and then it all getting smashed?! my thoughts are with you for your loss. some people might think "time heals everything" but i know in this case, it doesnt.
praying you get your next BFP soon, as well.

 

[katherinegrey]

that's such a horrible thing to say to someone, that they want it as much as you, as WELL as you, maybe, but that was super insensitive.

I've had a few nasty things said to me, I'm only 20 and have bipolar disorder (managed with medicine by the way) but I also have pcos so I can't afford to wait forever, and someone said should I fall pregnant I should abort as it would be kinder to the child as they doubted I'm capable of looking after myself with my age and condition. They didn't know I'm ttc but I was still heartbroken.

I'm 20, I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself and a little one and a household and finishing my degree so it was really hurtful to be prejudiced against like that when it's all untrue! Pregnancy isn't an illness, it's a blessing!

 

[socitycourty]

I know I have only been TTC for a short time but I am already tired of hearing, JUST RELAX. This is my future, I don't want to just relax. I already WTT forever.

 

[Daisy Delayne]

Wow, I cannot believe your OH's friend's comment - she wants it as much as you?? Hopefully that was just a foot-in-mouth moment and she was trying to say something to explain why she had gotten you that rather insensitive gift...but I would be pissed as well.

My co-worker, who doesn't know I'm TTC but knows that I want kids, has said some really insensitive things. She had her kids very young, starting as a teenager. Well, I turned 30 this year and don't have any children yet. One day she looked over my shoulder at work and saw I was reading a news story that talked about how more and more women are choosing to wait until their '30's to have children, and she said, 'Oh my god, those women are going to be old ladies by the time their kids grow up...' Um...HELLO?? By the way, she talks about her own kids as though they are nothing but an annoyance to her and have prevented her from doing the things she's always wanted to do, etc., and then turns around and basically implies I'm too old to be having babies??Ugh. I have never made any snide comments to her about teens having kids, because I believe many of them are capable of being excellent mothers, so I thought that was incredibly rude of her.

 

[Kristina6292]

This didn't happen to me but my sister.
She had a MC in January after being told she was infertile, she asked doctors how she got pregnant and they said she could get pregnant but the baby would just die. She took a month off work to recover only to go back to work and her boss tell her everyone has them so shes not getting any sympathy there. She was hysterically crying all day as she thought they would be more supportive.

She fell pregnant 6 weeks after her MC and obviously was terrified, after having loads of tests and scans every week they found a heartbeat and she is due in 8 weeks. I say its a miracle!
But the other day she was talking to her brother in law about her MC and he said "oh haven't you forgot about that already, it doesn't even matter because it was never born" She went absoloutly crazy at him, how he could think that she would ever forget her baby whether it was born or not!

 

[Dazed125]

I know I have only been TTC for a short time but I am already tired of hearing, JUST RELAX. This is my future, I don't want to just relax. I already WTT forever.

I hear you!!! I so hate this "helpful" comment, almost as much as "don't think about it" its like HELLO? how am I not going to THINK about it!!!!

I have a coworker who knowing im ttc goes on all the time about how fertile she is and gets pregnant sooooo easily....

My best guy friend is always telling me what a great mum i'll be, he has a new baby and always brings him with him when we see each other, they other day he brought me a baby sleepsuit, saying he knew it will be soon, I flit between thinking hes sweet and completely insensitive!

This thread also made me think of my own stupid comment though, and although embarrassed and ashamed of it, im sharing to show that sometimes people just don't think before they speak rather than mean any malice.
My best girl friend had been ttc for a couple of months before falling pregnant but then sadly having an early miscarriage, I helpfully said "it wasn't meant to be"....At the time she agreed with me and has never said anything but its only now I realise how insensitive it was. I'm happy to say she now has a happy and healthy little boy.

 

[kas22]

Mine is not at horrible and rude as I have read but my friend, she does no were trying but I don't confide in her about it too much, anyways I have irregular periods and she said why don't you go back on the pill to regulate your periods??? I was like what planet are you on it's taking me a year already to sort my body out etc!! That is the last thing I'm thinking about doing!! X

 

[Yammas]

Some people are soo rude!!!

This wasnt said to me but everytime I hear it on the advert it aggravates me its a clip from that new Kardashian show Khloe and Lamar and she turns round to her friend and says 'It has to be easy to get pregnant otherwise how are we all here?'

 

[i want it all]

After having my dd, my mams best friend, and my best friends mam, said 'she's doing so much better than I thought she would!' WTF is that supposed to mean? Did she think I was gonna be rubbish at it?

 

[Blessed2b]

Oh I'm so sorry for some of the horrible things you ladies have had said to you

The worst we have is "you guys have been together so long when are you going to have a baby, you're not getting any younger" LIKE WE DON'T KNOW THIS!!!

and then there's the "so, any news" monthly textes from well wishers

I just hold onto the day when I say "yes we're pregnant! we're having a baby" xxxx

 

[lisabutterfly]

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