What's wrong with just good old fashioned sex?!

[LittleMum]

I know that some people have genuine fertility problems so this post isn't right for everyone but just wanted to remind everyone else out there that its good old fashioned sex that makes a baby!!!
Not temp charting, ovulation kit testing, vitamins, supplements, timing BD etc. JUST SEX!!!!
I am a firm believer that the more you stress about getting pregnant the less likely it is to happen unless of course underlying issues.
Why don't we all make a conscious effort next cycle (if we don't get our BFPs) to just enjoy baby making and take it for what it is!!
No added extras, no timed BD, just lust between you and OH as and when you fancy it!

The human body is an amazing thing, and O actually makes a woman more 'fruity' naturally. So drop the kits etc for 1 month and enjoy!!

You might be surprised, loads of my friends have obsessed over getting pregnant for years, finally thought sod this and then gotten pregnant! Worth a shot

 

[alex_22]

Ive done exactly that this cycle havent stressed over a single thing this time around just totally gone with the flow, fingers crossed it get me my bfp x

 

[Celesse]

Nothing wrong with just having sex and seeing what happens. That's how its been done for years and a lot of people will consider not using contraception and having regular sex when they feel like it as "trying for a baby".

But from a talking-on-a-baby-forum point of view that is considered "Not Trying, Not Protecting- NTNP", where as "Trying to Conceive -TTC" is when you chart, watch for fertile signs, time sex ... anything additional to just having sex. If we all decided to NTNP then the TTC forums would be empty and everyone would be on the NTNP forum!! After all we are posting/reading here because we are taking additional steps to get pregnant.

NTNP has its place, TTC has its place.

I'm very much TTC atm and have no plans to move the NTNP. I have two young children, one of whom is still BFing, getting his molar's and given half the chance will be in bed with us. If I don't TTC, if I don't watch my cycle and time sex accordingly then I won't get pregnant because I won't have sex. Without making the extra effort to time DS's naps during the day, convince him to sleep in his own bed and switch off the PC's/ TV before we've had half a chance to relax then there's very little guarantee we would actually get around to it when we need to.

During ovulation I might fancy sex.... I also might fancy a chunky kit kat, a cup of tea and to watch an hour of TV between finally settling DS and going to bed cos I've had that kind of day with the kids!

It is just not realistic for many people in many different circumstances with many different sex lives/libido to just have sex when they feel like it and still get pregnant.

Also....how many women would truly be NTNP? I know when I'm fertile. Regardless of OPK's, ovulation microscopes, temperature changes.... I know when I'm fertile and whether I've agreed to NTNP or TTC I'll instigate sex around ovulation if I'm wanting a baby, or avoid sex if I'm not. So there will never be a cycle for me when I'm not aware of my fertile period anyway. My miscarriage was technically a NTNP cycle....but I knew when I was ovulating and made sure we had sex.....so really just a low tech TTC cycle.

 

[LittleMum]

I am definite ttc but don't use kits, charts etc. we do exist

 

[ricschick]

I do agree with little mum and I think NTNP & TTC can be the same thing as why wouldnt you take contraceptive if you didn't want a baby??

and I no out of experience when I was stressing about it and using opks etc it took me an extra 5 months to get pregnant compared to when I wasn't stressing about it with the other 3 pregnancies. stress is def not good when TTC. JMO.

 

[LittleMum]

Plus stressing about it kills the romance! I don't think my OH would be too please if I only found a space for him in my busy schedule around ovulation

I have come off of BC to conceive but I feel that the whole testing daily stuff etc is waaaaay OTT, just my opinion tho

 

[alex_22]

Im very much trying but not charting or anything I tried using okp and timing sex and it just didnt work it had me on the bottom im sure it works just fine for some people but it doesnt work at all for me, the only thing were doing this cycle is trying to not go too long without dtd but thats about it, im really enjoying ttc this month it feels right and a lot more natural and honestly the month has flew over because im not stressing symptom spotting testing mega early just enjoying the ride and waiting for af to be late x

 

[ricschick]

its so easy to become obsessed with ttc so the laid back approach is definitely better I think

 

[CastawayBride]

This is the second time on your posts I have to say this mantra, To Each Their Own.

It sounds like maybe you are trying to convince yourself that what you are doing is OK, and yes whatever you do to make a family is your decision and your right. I just say let others make their family they want to, whether they want to do OPKs, pee on a million sticks or whatever...

 

[ricschick]

definitely each to their own but I don't think she meant her post in a negative way.

 

[alex_22]

No I dont think she meant it negatively either end of the day were all here to share our stories and how were doing it and I think that was exactly what she was doing, I agree with her way of thinking I fell pregnant with my first the first month we tried becsuse there was no stress this time its been 5 and a half month and I blame the stress but thats just what works for me im in no which way saying this is the better way for everyone its just the better way for me were all just trying to find what best suits our lives, partners, bodys ect. X

 

[CastawayBride]

definitely each to their own but I don't think she meant her post in a negative way.

No I dont think she meant it negatively either end of the day were all here to share our stories and how were doing it and I think that was exactly what she was doing, I agree with her way of thinking I fell pregnant with my first the first month we tried becsuse there was no stress this time its been 5 and a half month and I blame the stress but thats just what works for me im in no which way saying this is the better way for everyone its just the better way for me were all just trying to find what best suits our lives, partners, bodys ect. X

It is inflammatory, whether she means it to be or not. Some women have reproductive issues they are overcoming, don't know how long their cycle is and not sure at all when to BD. Although on her other thread she eventually came around, no reason to put it out there b/c even though she says I don't mean this to be for all it is demeaning. No one should be stressed with TTC, but eh it happens.

It is kind of like if I said "well what ever comes out of your mouth is rubbish, just kidding." It still is not nice, should not be said in any context. Now maybe she doesn't realize she is posting such things but still, to each their own.

 

[alex_22]

She stated thought that this post isn't for everyone and she understands people have fertility issues I think what shes getting at is its ok to just go with the flow and not have a clue when your ovulating where your cervix are at what your temperature is supposed to be, I dont have the foggiest but thats ok im just doing it the way I know how to and the way I find it easiest as are you thats not to say my way is right or your way its our own journey and we will all get there in the end regardless of how we do it x

 

[CastawayBride]

She stated thought that this post isn't for everyone and she understands people have fertility issues I think what shes getting at is its ok to just go with the flow and not have a clue when your ovulating where your cervix are at what your temperature is supposed to be, I dont have the foggiest but thats ok im just doing it the way I know how to and the way I find it easiest as are you thats not to say my way is right or your way its our own journey and we will all get there in the end regardless of how we do it x

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/trying-to-conceive/1995327-please-dont-test-too-early.html

I am just saying, to each their own. No need to get upset with those who go all out, that is their decision. If you don't like reading posts about those that are actively TTC in that manner, move to NTNP. In that forum they should not actively be utilizing OPKs, monitors, etc. It is the way you say things yes, but when you are pushing a certain agenda it is visible. In the thread listed she came around and understood better how posting these types of threads can be perceived, yet to have another one (that was the point I was trying to get to.)

 

[Celesse]

I don't really find timing sex, charting, OPK's, looking at cm ect, stressful. I'd find not knowing my cycle stressful and missing a chance stressful. Stressful would be OH deciding to cum in an alternative place cos we are just going-with-the-flow even though I know I'm ovulating cos its know my body. Stressful would be coming on a period not having done all I could.

 

[CastawayBride]

I don't really find timing sex, charting, OPK's, looking at cm ect, stressful. I'd find not knowing my cycle stressful and missing a chance stressful. Stressful would be OH deciding to cum in an alternative place cos we are just going-with-the-flow even though I know I'm ovulating cos its know my body. Stressful would be coming on a period not having done all I could.

I only use a fertility monitor to help me decide when we are going to have baby making versus "fun" time lol But yes, it helps me relax as it cuts down the time to get pregnant, I understand that feeling! I think for me personally temping would drive me a bit bonkers though, it seems like a lot of work to me

 

[AP]

I don't find it stressful either, I actually "like" it in a strange way.

To post such an opinion in this section of the forum is bound to rile someone up. It's a bit like saying, "It'll happen in time" or "just relax". After TTC for months, and years, it just isn't the nicest thing to hear. It might be worth considering others circumstances, before posting threads/opinions like these.

 

[alex_22]

And that works for you I found it didnt work for me as I was constantly getting negative opk I dont have a clue how to check for my cervix and for 5 cycles it just didnt happen and I found myself even more frustrated knowing I tried everyrthing and it still didnt happen found myself blaming oh everytime af showed up and thats totally wrong, ive tried that approach and it hasnt worked for me and it obviously didnt work for her, I think we all just need to take what people say with a pinch of salt no one is telling anyone to do it a different way were all doing it the way we find easy, I would probsbly find that way easy if I was acutally successful in knowing when I ovulated but I just wasnt I didnt even nearly know when I was ovulating so it was always just a stab in the dark, im happy for you that your having success with opk it would have made it a hell of a lot easier for me and I would probably still be taking that aproach, as for the dont test early thread I test mega early and always question myself why when im peeing on the stick and already know its negative before I even finish but I cant help it wish I could and I think 99% of people on here wish they had the patience to wait too no one wants a negative but its what were setting ourselves up for testing that early I honestly dont think she means anything she said offensive in any way at all I think shes just putting out there what she thinks, we all have freedom of speech and she didnt directly aim this at anyone she explained herself before she even started

 

[Twinks]

I'm ttc my second lo at the min and I'm using the cbfm. I'm not remotely stressed about it at all and I actually really enjoy using the monitor :-D We love it when it gets to highs and peaks and actually don't feel pressure at all. If we don't want to bd when its a high we won't. I'm using it as I was very relaxed with my first lo for 5 months when we were trying to conceive. We did exactly that and just went with the flow and nothing happened until I decided to buy and use the cbfm when I fell pregnant the first month. I'm not saying 5 months is a long time as in comparison to a lot of my friends it's no time at all but my oh is 33 and didn't want to be much older when we conceived our first. I do agree with the no stress around bd thing but if u enjoy using the cbfm/ opks etc then I don't see the problem :0)

 

[pinkpolkadot]

I guess that is true for many but personally I am one of those obsessive TTCers but as a pp said I actually enjoy doing all the charting and POAS! I find it exciting and I feel like I am in control as well as satisfiying the geek in me