When do I tell the DH?? :s

[awnmyown]

So the DH is a very laisse faire type fellow; he doesn't obsess about the future, just living life as it comes. You can imagine he pairs wonderfully with hype planner me.

We decided to start TTC after our September wedding and are in the TWW now. While I know there's a good chance this isn't our month, I'm seriously stressing about when to test and when to tell him.

I feel like I want to test by DPO-10 since that's the earliest we could see a positive. But I feel like if it is positive, I should tell the DH like right. Except if it's a CP and goes negative later, I don't want to break both of our hearts.

But I don't think I could hide that for another week before we get a true positive. And even then...what if it doesn't work?? Maybe I shouldn't tell him until like 2 months??

The other thought I'm struggling with, is do I tell him I'm going to test and we wait in anticipation together, or do I not tell him and then he misses out on the wait if it's positive??

Seriously. I don't know why all of this bugs me so much. It just feels like the whole testing and positives/negatives is 100% in my court...and that doesn't feel fair!

So ladies, what did you do, and did it work with your man?? He probably doesn't even care how he finds out, just that it's positive and sticks around Typical woman, over thinking it all

 

[happynewmom1]

Honestly my dh wanted to know as soon as it was positive. I think for him, he would have been a little hurt if I had waited until 8 weeks to tell him but that's him he wanted to be there for me during my losses and was a huge support. I told him right away for all of them.. Some in different ways, but he enjoyed simple and by the time I got a positive for this current pregnancy, he just up and asked me about it (I had asked him to buy tests so he knew I would be lol). My theory especially since the losses is the enjoy every day of your pregnancy as best you can and let your dh join you. If you end up being pregnant, he should be by your side for the good and the bad that's my opinion and you know him better but he sounds very chill. 10dpo sounds good to begin testing and plan something special in a way to tell him if you want trust me, even a cp is a loss and you wouldn't want to go through that alone if it came to it

 

[starryjune]

Mine wants to know about everything, but he has had to talk down my obsessiveness on occasion in the past when this was all still so new and I over-thought every little thing. He would be upset if i tested without him. We talk openly about all this, as any couple should. So, please have an honest, open talk with him about what you'd like to share and what he prefers. You don't have to have rigid rules, but basic planning is good and you should NOT be going through all this alone.

 

[DobbyForever]

I waited a week to tell SO. He was on vacation and when he got back he was feverish. It wasn't how I wanted to remember things. Ultimately, it is up to you. But would you want to go through a cp alone? Assuming you have one. If you are really worried, maybe make sure you get positives for a couple of days or tell him when af doesn't show. It was easy for me to keep it to myself because he wasn't here and had zero reception (we talked via email lol). But we have been through a loss together, so he was super worried at first and still is now. It's less adorable and starting to get frustrating because he is sacrificing himself and his job performance to take care of me.

My point is there is nothing wrong with waiting a few days, BUT he should be the first to know. BnB excluded.

 

[ms sunshine]

Having had a cp a few months ago and how it effected me my doc said to test 4 weeks after being late. As chsnce of cp would be gone. Now i honestly cohldnt do that i woukd go nuts. But maybe consider testing when af is late or a week after af due if you are worried about being upset if you have a cp. Its not just about how it will effect him it does really effect u and i honestly would rather have not known but each to their own

 

[Aayla]

When I got my bfp I waited only until there was a line he could see. I started testing really early because I just knew at 3dpo that I was pregnant. Of course they were all negative. I finally got a squinter at 10dpo but since I could barely see it I didn't want to get his hopes up. I finally got a line he could see 13dpo. He didn't believe it at all. It wasn't until the line was a bit darker the next day and I got my betas back. Then I had to explain to him how hcg works. When i told him that the only way hcg would be in my body is because of a baby he sat back and said.."whoa"

I did end up miscarrying that and I don't know what I would have done or how I could have handled it without him. He was my rock. I was stuck in a week of hell not knowing what was happening. Everyone around me was just telling me "well at least you know you can get pregnant." He was my sollace.

And now that my first af is about to be here any day he is super excited to try again.